Fic: Higher, Severus/Remus/Sirius NC-17
Title: Higher
Pairing: Remus/Severus/Sirius
Rating: Hard R, possibly NC-17 for slashy threesome fun.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Warnings: Slashy threesome fun. Drug use.
Summary: Any kind of sexual act that can only be described using a French word is never a good idea, especially with a Slytherin involved.
Thanks to sor_bet for the beta.
Notes: This was started as a response to the lupin_snape Aurally Inspired Challenge which would have been the challenge for June. It's also a gift fic for femslash_fan who wanted some young Sirius/Snape/Remus action.
I am so high. I can hear heaven.
I am so high. I can hear heaven.
Oh but heaven... no, heaven don't hear me.
From Hero by Nickelback
"You should ask him," Sirius whispered conspiratorially to Remus in the sparsely populated Great Hall over lunch. Sirius was gazing at one of the few occupants left at the Slytherin table, Severus Snape. "Do it this afternoon, if you get a chance."
"Why me?" asked Remus nervously, shifting his eyes back and forth from Sirius to the dark, brooding Severus.
"He doesn't like me," Sirius explained, in an impatient voice. "He hates Prongs. And Wormtail's gone home for the hols, hasn't he?"
Peter, like most of the students at Hogwarts, had left that morning for the Christmas holiday. Of those left, most would be leaving that evening. Sirius, James, and Remus would be among the very small remnant that stayed behind to spend their Christmas at Hogwarts.
"You're the only one who can go near him without getting hexed in half," Sirius said. "Also, I'm pretty sure he's queer for you."
"Sirius...." Remus said, a small warning in his voice.
"What?" asked Sirius defensively. "He's obviously an enormous poof and he's been giving you the eye since third year."
Remus shook his head. "I'm sure you're imagining that."
"All right," sighed Sirius. "Believe what you like, but go ask him for the stuff. Consider it your Christmas present to me."
"Are you sure he's got any?" asked Remus, the nervousness creeping back into his voice.
“I’ve been assured by numerous sources,” said Sirius confidently, “that he’s the ‘go-to guy’.”
Remus smirked, "The 'go-to guy'?"
"The only person said to have better pot at Hogwarts is Professor Sprout." Sirius smiled at Remus. "You can try to buy some from her, if you prefer.
"No thank you," said Remus. "I'll ask Severus."
"That's my boy, Moony," said Sirius cheerfully and half-mockingly. "This is going to be the best Christmas ever. I'm glad your parents agreed to let you stay at Hogwarts."
Remus' smirk melted into a large, sincere smile, an infectious excitement glittering in his bright brown eyes. "I told them what a pathetic and lonely old sod you'd been since you were disinherited, and they felt sorry for you."
"Ha! Being disowned was the best thing that ever happened to me." Sirius laughed loudly. He noticed Severus' eyes shift in their direction as if he'd just noticed them for the first time. Sirius looked away quickly and smiled back at Remus. "If your folks felt sorry for me, why didn't they invite me down to spend the hols with them?"
"Are you joking?" Remus responded. "After what happened the last time you came to stay with us."
"What?" Sirius tried his best to look sincerely confused. "I thought I was charming."
"You got the police called 'round," said Remus. "Twice."
"Oh yeah, but that was just a little misunderstanding, wasn't it?"
***
"James, the enormous prat, has pulled out," exclaimed Sirius loudly when Remus ducked through the portrait hole and into the Gryffindor common room that evening.
"What?" said Remus, confused.
"He got a last minute invitation to spend Christmas with Evans and her family," said Sirius bitterly.
"The Muggles," said Remus.
"Yeah." Sirius was stretched out lazily on the sofa, his stocking feet flung over the arm. He'd shed his shoes and school robes and was wearing just his jeans and a tee shirt. His long, large-boned body seemed to ripple with energy and lassitude simultaneously. "He went, of course. Not a second thought about the two of us here all alone," Sirius said morosely. "Thinks with his prick, that one."
When James had first told him the news, Sirius had experienced a twinge of excitement at the prospect of having Remus all to himself but he wasn't keen to make that obvious to Remus.
"Does he want his money back?" Remus asked, with sudden concern. "I already gave it to Severus."
"Oh, did you?" said Sirius, sitting up. "You got it, then?"
Remus looked apprehensively and, in Sirius' opinion, unnecessarily around the abandoned common room, before saying in a quiet voice, "I got it."
"Where is it?" Sirius barked, making Remus jump.
"Um-"
"What?"
"I don't have it with me." Remus kept casting furtive glances at the portrait hole as if he expected Filch to burst in at any moment.
"Oh," said Sirius flatly. "Then apparently 'I got it' means the exact opposite of what I've always been led to believe."
Remus gave Sirius a withering look. "I paid for it. Severus said he'd bring it to us tonight, after supper. We're to meet him at the top of the Astronomy Tower."
"Hmm," mused Sirius, suspicion darkening his pale eyes. "He better not try anything. I'll curse him blind if he rips us off."
"He won't, he's honest," said Remus, with a little more passion than Sirius liked hearing in his voice.
"You're a regular Pollyanna, you know that?" laughed Sirius. "Well, thanks for taking care of that."
"It's your Christmas present, don't forget," said Remus. "I can't afford to get you anything else right now."
"I remember," said Sirius, pulling himself up off the sofa and stretching. "What do you want for Christmas anyway?"
"Nothing," said Remus whose gaze seemed fixed on Sirius' flexing, lanky body. Sirius hoped that Remus' apparent fascination was more than just his imagination.
"Come on," said Sirius, grabbing his robes from the floor and tossing them on over his head. "I want to get you something. I'm broke, but still... If you could have anything, what would you want?"
Remus shifted uncomfortably. "Nothing, just...."
"What?"
"This is fine."
Sirius shook his head. "Come to supper," he said, heading toward the exit. "You're bonkers."
***
"That'll do, Snape," said Sirius imperiously. "You may leave."
"Aren't you planning to partake?" Severus had just handed over a small brown paper packet. He'd arrived a few moments after Remus and Sirius to the top of the Astronomy Tower. It was chilly; Sirius was hugging his hands and bouncing up and down for warmth.
"Yes," said Sirius. "As soon as you leave."
"I was invited to stay," said Severus, casting a warming charm with his wand. Soon, the three of them were surrounded by a bubble of comfortable heat.
"Who invited you?" scoffed Sirius.
"Lupin," said Severus casually, sitting cross-legged on the ground.
"What?" barked Sirius.
"Um-"
"Moony!"
"He's staying here over the holidays, too," Remus argued. "And he has no one for company. All his friends have left."
"As if I could give a monkey's," said Sirius angrily.
"He got us the -- the -- stuff."
"He was paid."
"I still went to considerable effort to procure it for you quickly and at great personal risk."
"You are so full of --"
"Sirius, I just thought -- It's only polite," Remus said, his eyes pleading with Sirius.
"It's just tonight."
Sirius relented. "Well, Snivelly, if you must be here, do something useful and roll us a joint." Sirius tossed the brown paper packet at Severus.
"Joint," said Severus distastefully. "What are we, Muggles?" He pulled an improbably large and elaborately decorated hookah out from the inside of his robes. "Joint, really," he scoffed. "And you call yourself a wizard."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Good Godric, that thing's ridiculous looking." It was made of green glass and brass with heavy silver threads decorating the two long hoses that hung from its neck like arms outstretched in compassion.
“This is much more effective. Besides,” Severus indicated the brown-paper packet, “this is hash.” Severus reached in and pulled out a chunk of dark chocolate-looking substance about the size of a sickle and started crumbling it gently with his long, agile fingers into the clay bowl at the top of the pipe.
"I said to get weed, Moony," said Sirius, exasperated.
"What?" Remus was staring at Severus' hands. "Like I know the difference."
"This is better," said Severus. He added a pinch of what Sirius assumed was tobacco, based on the smell. "Trust me. I rubbed it myself."
"This is twee, is what it is," said Sirius, plopping to the ground opposite Severus.
Remus sat down next to Severus who was busily covering the bowl with perforated aluminium foil. Sirius lifted up one of the hoses and peered at it contemptuously. The end of the hookah was submerged in the green glass base filled with a wine-dark liquid. Sirius touched the glass with his fingers and found it ice-cold to the touch. Severus arranged some charcoal around the edges of the foil and used his wand to ignite it. He lifted up his hose and took a long draw on the end.
"Cover the hole," he said testily, gesturing at the hose in Sirius‘ hand. Sirius looked down bemused, and then, comprehending, covered the tiny hole in the mouth-piece with his thumb.
Another couple of tokes and the hash was burning well, the smoke flowing languorously through the contraption and settling like mist over the water in the vase.
Sirius watched, mesmerized, for a moment, before drawing a tentative mouthful of the smoke out through the hose. It was cool and strong smelling, tasting vaguely of wine and soil. He held his breath, savouring the haziness and the low, enchanting gurgling sound that soon surrounded them.
Severus had handed his hose over to Remus, who had gulped down the smoke and proceeded to choke and giggle at the same time.
"Here," said Severus, moving closer to Remus to help him with the logistics. Sirius took another long drag while Severus and Remus passed their mouthpiece back and forth.
They proceeded in silence until Sirius noticed Remus staring at him, a strange light suffusing the other boy's face.
"What?" asked Sirius.
Remus broke into an enormous, beatific smile.
"Remus, you can't possibly be high already," said Sirius, inhaling.
"It's nothing," said Remus quietly. "It's just I feel as though I have this really fantastic gift of understanding and empathy all of a sudden, and I want to give it to someone. Well, to the whole world, really."
Severus snickered, puffing out smoke.
Sirius released the drag he'd been holding in his lungs. "I was wrong," he said in a tight voice. "You could possibly be high already."
"Gimme," said Remus, reaching for the hose in Severus' hand. Sirius noticed that Remus' fingers hesitated against Severus' somewhat longer than was necessary. Severus had an odd expression on his face as he helped Remus.
Sirius had to admit the hash was working quickly. He closed his eyes and when he opened them, the ground felt oddly tilted. He felt at a different angle to everything than was usual. He took a moment to check that he wasn't actually levitating. Wizard reactions to drugs were sometimes strange and literal. No, he was still on the stone floor of the Astronomy Tower, sitting cross-legged in front of the ridiculous water pipe.
Severus was using his wand to tap the coals on the foil, scooting them around and removing the excess ash. The warming charm was evidently still working. Sirius felt almost overheated and overwhelmed. He peeled off his robes and folded them so that he could sit on top of them. He took another gurgling toke and closed his eyes again as the smoke filled his lungs.
When he opened his eyes, he saw Severus and Remus arranged before him in a passionate embrace, kissing each other deeply. Severus was still sitting cross-legged but Remus now kneeled straddling him.
"Wha- Remus. Bloody hell!"
"Hmmm." The two entangled boys ignored him. Severus had one hand around Remus' waist and the other still held the hose they'd been sharing.
Sirius stared at the mouthpiece in his hand. "My God. Snivellus, you bastard," he exclaimed in a loud, disbelieving voice. "This stuff. This stuff is -- You've spiked it, clearly. With some sort of asro- asro-dish-e-act. Astro-disiac"
Severus reluctantly broke the kiss to look disdainfully at Sirius. "Black, what in the world are you trying to say?"
"Aphrodisiac," Remus explained helpfully.
"Thank you, Moony. Yes. Afro-dizzy-act. Snape, you sneaky bastard."
Severus stared, blinking slowly. "Why do you say that?"
Sirius pointed in disbelief at Remus. "Why else would he be snogging you, Snivellus?" yelled Sirius. He still held his thumb over the end of his mouthpiece.
"Because he finds me irresistibly attractive," Severus said calmly and went back to kissing Remus, the soft, wet sound of their snogging mixing in with the hissing sound of the burning coals.
Sirius rose to the aid of his friend but as soon as he got to his feet, the entire Astronomy Tower slanted to one side and sent him sprawling. At least that was how it felt from Sirius' perspective.
Severus broke the kiss again to reach defensively for the hookah which Sirius had almost knocked over with his foot.
Sirius lay flat on his back and stared at the stars above him. "Snivelly," he asked conversationally. "What'd you spike mine with? A sleeping draught or just outright poison?"
"Nothing, Black; you apparently have no tolerance."
Not moving from his horizontal position, Sirius called out, "Oi, Remus, kiss me."
Remus very obligingly crawled over to where Sirius was, and with his head hanging over Sirius face, leaned down to kiss him, long and deep.
When their lips separated, Sirius crowed proudly, "Ha, Snivellus, it backfired. He's so worked up he'll snog anyone."
"He's here, you know," said Remus, stars shining through his hair. "He can hear everything you say. He'll snog anyone he wants." He crawled back to Severus to resume where he'd left off there.
"Yeah," Sirius cried after him. "But he's clearly a tart who's blown his mind."
Remus separated from Severus with a wet, sucking sound, sat back on his haunches, and looked back and forth between Severus and Sirius. "I know what I want for Christmas," he burst out abruptly. He crept back toward Sirius to whisper in his ear.
"You want what?" Sirius whispered back, shocked.
"You heard me."
"I take it back, then," said Sirius, crossly. "No Christmas present for you."
"You asked," Remus pleaded. “You said, if I could have anything....”
Sirius cast a glance at Severus who was rotating the coals again and checking the water level on his precious pipe. "Snivellus, really?" asked Sirius.
Remus shrugged. "He has a certain something...."
"A venereal disease, no doubt. Lice, most certainly. Greasy, dirty --"
"He's right here, you know," shouted Severus. "What are you two whispering about?"
Sirius didn't answer; he just stared in disbelief at Remus.
"You asked," said Remus.
"Well, it's daft," said Sirius, pushing himself up into a sitting position. "You want me to touch --, to kiss that -- that --"
"What?" said Severus, glaring. "Touch what?"
"Remus wants something French for his Christmas present," said Sirius, nonchalantly.
"What? Toast?" Severus paused for a long moment. "Wait... not bloody likely."
"Come on, Severus," Remus said, moving to nudge himself against the other boy. "It'll be brilliant."
"This isn't like you, Remus," said Sirius. "Snape, what the hell did you lace the hash with?"
"Not a thing, I swear," said Severus, running his hands through Remus' hair possessively. "Lupin is clearly a raging pervert."
Remus smiled wickedly before standing up and pulling off his robes.
"Really, Remus," began Sirius, reasonably. "Any kind of sexual act that can only be described using a French word is never a good idea, especially with a Slytherin involved."
"There is an English word," Remus sighed. "Threesome. It's a nice word, sounds lovely and homely, like wholesome."
"He's gone completely mad," Sirius addressed Severus.
But Severus had gone silent, his eyes intent on Remus as he stripped. Once Remus was completely naked, Severus dived directly for his stomach to press his lips there as though he were worshipping some Greek god.
Sirius blinked and rubbed his eyes. The hash must have been having some effect on him. He saw, on the one hand, a skinny adolescent whom he'd showered with plenty -- Remus starkers was a familiar enough sight, after all -- but on the other hand, he thought he could almost see what Severus was seeing. It was something completely new, something charged with a sexual aspect; a golden brown boy, lanky but lovely. Remus' skin, marred by scars, was nonetheless soft and luscious-looking, spread over well-shaped limbs and a long waist. Sirius whistled softly.
Remus was still standing and Severus was kissing the hard, quaking flesh of Remus' stomach, Remus' cock bobbing just below his chin. Remus, meanwhile, gasped and smiled, looking half aroused, half tickled.
"Suck it, why don't you, Snape?" said Sirius in an awed voice. "Don't be a tease."
He stood so that his could kiss Remus' wet mouth, never taking his eyes off Severus who had, as instructed, taken Remus' cock into his mouth.
Severus seemed to know what he was doing and had soon enough accommodated Remus to the root. Their sucking, grunting cries spilled out over the battlements of the tower and into the chilled night air until Remus, appearing on the verge, broke the kiss and panted impatiently, "No, no, you -- You two -- I want to see you two.... "
Remus plucked himself from Severus' mouth and twisted around to struggle with Sirius' clothes. Sirius shoved him away gently and pulled them off himself. Finally, naked, Sirius stretched and flexed his cramped muscles. He smiled when he noticed Severus gaping.
"Like what you see, Snivelly?" Sirius asked, settling down on top of his earlier discarded robes. "You really are bent."
"What if I am?"
Severus remained dressed but tumbled on top of Sirius the moment the other boy sat on the ground, kissing and touching everything he could.
Severus was clumsy; his hands, long-fingered and deft with potions or spells, seemed useless here, passion and pot apparently addling his brain.
"Slow down, you great greasy git," Sirius huffed.
Severus pulled back, breathless, and waited.
It was Remus who finally took charge.
"Here, Severus, you go down on Sirius like you did on me. Lovely."
Severus' warm mouth was on Sirius before he'd had time to really process what Remus had said. He groaned and looked down; surprisingly aroused by the severe angles of Severus' face, his cheeks sucked in, his mouth stretched. Severus' eyes were squeezed shut and his large beak-like nose was buried deep in Sirius' pubic hair.
"Now, Sirius," said Remus. "You do me."
"Kiss me, first," gasped Sirius.
Remus obliged him and Sirius was quite overwhelmed in a warm, wet oblivion.
Remus pulled out of the kiss and straddled Sirius, pushing him flat. Remus' cock dangled above him. Sirius flicked at it with his tongue. It jumped and swayed a bit out of reach. Remus lowered himself some more. Sirius, never having done anything like this before, licked at it tentatively, swirling his tongue around the head and stabbing it into the tiny hole, savouring the sharp, strange flavour.
There was grunting and groaning coming from all three boys and Sirius felt his orgasm mounting under the ministrations of Severus' skilled mouth. Severus, Sirius had to admit, clearly knew what he was doing, and Sirius was pretty sure that he, in contrast, was making a muddle of it with Remus, especially when Remus hissed something apprehensive about teeth.
Remus, who seemed to sense Sirius' misgivings and his approaching climax, pulled away and rearranged himself so that he could watch and kiss Sirius through his intense and protracted orgasm. Sirius cried out, and he was usually quiet about such things but this was different from anything he'd ever felt before. He pushed out from under Severus who was still sucking at his sensitive cock and wrapped his arms around Remus.
"God," he said stupidly as he watched Severus wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. Sirius was panting hard. He turned to look back at Remus, lowering his hands to find Remus' cock, hard against his belly, "Moony, you -- sorry, mate," he said once he had his breath back. "I'll try again."
"No, not yet," said Remus. "Severus was left out. It's his turn"
Sirius made a face. But it was Severus who objected aloud. "I'm not letting that incompetent put his mouth on me," he said defiantly. "I'll fuck him."
"You certainly won't," shouted Sirius.
"I'll fuck him out of charity," Severus explained.
"Ha," laughed Sirius, scornfully. "You'd strangle your own mother for five minutes with me, you arse bandit."
"That's rich coming from someone who just came all over my...."
Remus shut them both up by seizing Sirius' hand and giving it a long sloppy lick up the palm. Both Sirius and Severus watched silent and wide eyed as he continued thoroughly wetting the entire surface of Sirius' hand.
"Here," said Remus, pressing Sirius' damp palm against Severus' red straining cock which he found peeping out of Severus robes and pants. "You know how to do that, don't you?"
What teenage boy didn't? The angle was awkward and a little distracting but he took to it like a duck to water. Sirius thought the cock felt almost angry, like it was struggling against him in his hand, but that could have been his imagination. Neither he nor Severus was looking at one another but both had their eyes glued on Remus, the enchanting orchestrator of this madness.
Remus crawled over to take another toke from the hookah. He stared back at them through a cloud of smoke. "You look so hot, the two of you," he giggled.
"Here," said Sirius, reaching out his free hand. "Give me."
Remus passed it over. Sirius took a long toke and handed the mouthpiece to Severus. Severus inhaled and exhaled a few seconds later, blowing smoke all over Sirius who choked and squeezed Severus a little harder than necessary in revenge.
Sirius had become quite absorbed in his work. He squeezed and pulled on Severus' cock, which was growing wetter and slicker from sweat and pre-come, and Severus thrust back involuntarily.
"Here," gasped Severus, gesturing to Remus. When Remus was close enough, Severus took another toke from the hookah and kissed Remus, exhaling into Remus' mouth. Remus held the smoke down, his face almost comical before letting it out.
"Me," said Sirius. Remus took a drag and repeated Severus' actions with Sirius.
Remus was straddling Sirius' hands and Severus' cock while he exhaled into Sirius' mouth and the proximity was too much for Severus. He gasped and came, splashing Sirius and Remus both.
"You now," said Sirius to Remus, wiping his hands on the hem of Severus' robes. "How do you want it?"
Remus licked his lips and looked thoughtful. "Severus can finish up what he started earlier," he said, leaning back against Sirius' damp, heaving chest while Severus, almost immediately, slid back into place between Remus' thighs.
Sirius felt a pang of jealousy but consoled himself by kissing the soft skin of Remus' neck and pulling long hits off the hookah while Remus squirmed and shuddered in his arms.
***
Later that night, Remus slipped into Sirius‘ bed. Sirius, feeling exhausted but still keyed up, cuddled him his arms.
"Do you really fancy Snivellus?" Sirius whispered.
"I neither like nor dislike him," replied Remus. A tiny smile danced on his lips. Sirius could tell he was remembering something from earlier in the evening. "Honestly, though... I think sometimes do like him, quite a bit."
"More than me?" Sirius asked in as casual a voice as he could manage.
"You're Sirius Black," said Remus.
Sirius sighed happily; he didn't need the significance of that explained. He hugged Remus tighter, revelling in the warmth of the slighter form against his own rangy body.
"You know," said Remus. "We could -- you know -- again. With Severus..."
"No," exclaimed Sirius. "You said tonight only."
"Severus told me he could sneak us into the Slytherin common room, tomorrow," Remus said dreamily. "You've always wanted to see --"
"I've always wanted to sabotage...." Sirius interrupted.
"Fantastic, it’s all set then," said Remus brightly. "Severus will be so pleased."
Sirius imagined he wouldn't be. Whatever Severus had had planned, it probably hadn't included Sirius, but hell if Sirius would let that Slytherin bastard have Remus to himself. All in all, thought Sirius, it was turning out to be an interesting Christmas.
Fin
---------------------------
BTW, after I wrote this, in order to double-check my stoner slang, I decided to do some extensive research into the British 70's drug scene the best way I know how, reading Harry Potter slash. I was rec'd these to pothead gems, Reefer Madness by xochiquetzl and Under the Influence by Fabula Rasa. Check them out, dudes, they're groovy.
Pairing: Remus/Severus/Sirius
Rating: Hard R, possibly NC-17 for slashy threesome fun.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Warnings: Slashy threesome fun. Drug use.
Summary: Any kind of sexual act that can only be described using a French word is never a good idea, especially with a Slytherin involved.
Thanks to sor_bet for the beta.
Notes: This was started as a response to the lupin_snape Aurally Inspired Challenge which would have been the challenge for June. It's also a gift fic for femslash_fan who wanted some young Sirius/Snape/Remus action.
I am so high. I can hear heaven.
I am so high. I can hear heaven.
Oh but heaven... no, heaven don't hear me.
From Hero by Nickelback
"You should ask him," Sirius whispered conspiratorially to Remus in the sparsely populated Great Hall over lunch. Sirius was gazing at one of the few occupants left at the Slytherin table, Severus Snape. "Do it this afternoon, if you get a chance."
"Why me?" asked Remus nervously, shifting his eyes back and forth from Sirius to the dark, brooding Severus.
"He doesn't like me," Sirius explained, in an impatient voice. "He hates Prongs. And Wormtail's gone home for the hols, hasn't he?"
Peter, like most of the students at Hogwarts, had left that morning for the Christmas holiday. Of those left, most would be leaving that evening. Sirius, James, and Remus would be among the very small remnant that stayed behind to spend their Christmas at Hogwarts.
"You're the only one who can go near him without getting hexed in half," Sirius said. "Also, I'm pretty sure he's queer for you."
"Sirius...." Remus said, a small warning in his voice.
"What?" asked Sirius defensively. "He's obviously an enormous poof and he's been giving you the eye since third year."
Remus shook his head. "I'm sure you're imagining that."
"All right," sighed Sirius. "Believe what you like, but go ask him for the stuff. Consider it your Christmas present to me."
"Are you sure he's got any?" asked Remus, the nervousness creeping back into his voice.
“I’ve been assured by numerous sources,” said Sirius confidently, “that he’s the ‘go-to guy’.”
Remus smirked, "The 'go-to guy'?"
"The only person said to have better pot at Hogwarts is Professor Sprout." Sirius smiled at Remus. "You can try to buy some from her, if you prefer.
"No thank you," said Remus. "I'll ask Severus."
"That's my boy, Moony," said Sirius cheerfully and half-mockingly. "This is going to be the best Christmas ever. I'm glad your parents agreed to let you stay at Hogwarts."
Remus' smirk melted into a large, sincere smile, an infectious excitement glittering in his bright brown eyes. "I told them what a pathetic and lonely old sod you'd been since you were disinherited, and they felt sorry for you."
"Ha! Being disowned was the best thing that ever happened to me." Sirius laughed loudly. He noticed Severus' eyes shift in their direction as if he'd just noticed them for the first time. Sirius looked away quickly and smiled back at Remus. "If your folks felt sorry for me, why didn't they invite me down to spend the hols with them?"
"Are you joking?" Remus responded. "After what happened the last time you came to stay with us."
"What?" Sirius tried his best to look sincerely confused. "I thought I was charming."
"You got the police called 'round," said Remus. "Twice."
"Oh yeah, but that was just a little misunderstanding, wasn't it?"
***
"James, the enormous prat, has pulled out," exclaimed Sirius loudly when Remus ducked through the portrait hole and into the Gryffindor common room that evening.
"What?" said Remus, confused.
"He got a last minute invitation to spend Christmas with Evans and her family," said Sirius bitterly.
"The Muggles," said Remus.
"Yeah." Sirius was stretched out lazily on the sofa, his stocking feet flung over the arm. He'd shed his shoes and school robes and was wearing just his jeans and a tee shirt. His long, large-boned body seemed to ripple with energy and lassitude simultaneously. "He went, of course. Not a second thought about the two of us here all alone," Sirius said morosely. "Thinks with his prick, that one."
When James had first told him the news, Sirius had experienced a twinge of excitement at the prospect of having Remus all to himself but he wasn't keen to make that obvious to Remus.
"Does he want his money back?" Remus asked, with sudden concern. "I already gave it to Severus."
"Oh, did you?" said Sirius, sitting up. "You got it, then?"
Remus looked apprehensively and, in Sirius' opinion, unnecessarily around the abandoned common room, before saying in a quiet voice, "I got it."
"Where is it?" Sirius barked, making Remus jump.
"Um-"
"What?"
"I don't have it with me." Remus kept casting furtive glances at the portrait hole as if he expected Filch to burst in at any moment.
"Oh," said Sirius flatly. "Then apparently 'I got it' means the exact opposite of what I've always been led to believe."
Remus gave Sirius a withering look. "I paid for it. Severus said he'd bring it to us tonight, after supper. We're to meet him at the top of the Astronomy Tower."
"Hmm," mused Sirius, suspicion darkening his pale eyes. "He better not try anything. I'll curse him blind if he rips us off."
"He won't, he's honest," said Remus, with a little more passion than Sirius liked hearing in his voice.
"You're a regular Pollyanna, you know that?" laughed Sirius. "Well, thanks for taking care of that."
"It's your Christmas present, don't forget," said Remus. "I can't afford to get you anything else right now."
"I remember," said Sirius, pulling himself up off the sofa and stretching. "What do you want for Christmas anyway?"
"Nothing," said Remus whose gaze seemed fixed on Sirius' flexing, lanky body. Sirius hoped that Remus' apparent fascination was more than just his imagination.
"Come on," said Sirius, grabbing his robes from the floor and tossing them on over his head. "I want to get you something. I'm broke, but still... If you could have anything, what would you want?"
Remus shifted uncomfortably. "Nothing, just...."
"What?"
"This is fine."
Sirius shook his head. "Come to supper," he said, heading toward the exit. "You're bonkers."
***
"That'll do, Snape," said Sirius imperiously. "You may leave."
"Aren't you planning to partake?" Severus had just handed over a small brown paper packet. He'd arrived a few moments after Remus and Sirius to the top of the Astronomy Tower. It was chilly; Sirius was hugging his hands and bouncing up and down for warmth.
"Yes," said Sirius. "As soon as you leave."
"I was invited to stay," said Severus, casting a warming charm with his wand. Soon, the three of them were surrounded by a bubble of comfortable heat.
"Who invited you?" scoffed Sirius.
"Lupin," said Severus casually, sitting cross-legged on the ground.
"What?" barked Sirius.
"Um-"
"Moony!"
"He's staying here over the holidays, too," Remus argued. "And he has no one for company. All his friends have left."
"As if I could give a monkey's," said Sirius angrily.
"He got us the -- the -- stuff."
"He was paid."
"I still went to considerable effort to procure it for you quickly and at great personal risk."
"You are so full of --"
"Sirius, I just thought -- It's only polite," Remus said, his eyes pleading with Sirius.
"It's just tonight."
Sirius relented. "Well, Snivelly, if you must be here, do something useful and roll us a joint." Sirius tossed the brown paper packet at Severus.
"Joint," said Severus distastefully. "What are we, Muggles?" He pulled an improbably large and elaborately decorated hookah out from the inside of his robes. "Joint, really," he scoffed. "And you call yourself a wizard."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Good Godric, that thing's ridiculous looking." It was made of green glass and brass with heavy silver threads decorating the two long hoses that hung from its neck like arms outstretched in compassion.
“This is much more effective. Besides,” Severus indicated the brown-paper packet, “this is hash.” Severus reached in and pulled out a chunk of dark chocolate-looking substance about the size of a sickle and started crumbling it gently with his long, agile fingers into the clay bowl at the top of the pipe.
"I said to get weed, Moony," said Sirius, exasperated.
"What?" Remus was staring at Severus' hands. "Like I know the difference."
"This is better," said Severus. He added a pinch of what Sirius assumed was tobacco, based on the smell. "Trust me. I rubbed it myself."
"This is twee, is what it is," said Sirius, plopping to the ground opposite Severus.
Remus sat down next to Severus who was busily covering the bowl with perforated aluminium foil. Sirius lifted up one of the hoses and peered at it contemptuously. The end of the hookah was submerged in the green glass base filled with a wine-dark liquid. Sirius touched the glass with his fingers and found it ice-cold to the touch. Severus arranged some charcoal around the edges of the foil and used his wand to ignite it. He lifted up his hose and took a long draw on the end.
"Cover the hole," he said testily, gesturing at the hose in Sirius‘ hand. Sirius looked down bemused, and then, comprehending, covered the tiny hole in the mouth-piece with his thumb.
Another couple of tokes and the hash was burning well, the smoke flowing languorously through the contraption and settling like mist over the water in the vase.
Sirius watched, mesmerized, for a moment, before drawing a tentative mouthful of the smoke out through the hose. It was cool and strong smelling, tasting vaguely of wine and soil. He held his breath, savouring the haziness and the low, enchanting gurgling sound that soon surrounded them.
Severus had handed his hose over to Remus, who had gulped down the smoke and proceeded to choke and giggle at the same time.
"Here," said Severus, moving closer to Remus to help him with the logistics. Sirius took another long drag while Severus and Remus passed their mouthpiece back and forth.
They proceeded in silence until Sirius noticed Remus staring at him, a strange light suffusing the other boy's face.
"What?" asked Sirius.
Remus broke into an enormous, beatific smile.
"Remus, you can't possibly be high already," said Sirius, inhaling.
"It's nothing," said Remus quietly. "It's just I feel as though I have this really fantastic gift of understanding and empathy all of a sudden, and I want to give it to someone. Well, to the whole world, really."
Severus snickered, puffing out smoke.
Sirius released the drag he'd been holding in his lungs. "I was wrong," he said in a tight voice. "You could possibly be high already."
"Gimme," said Remus, reaching for the hose in Severus' hand. Sirius noticed that Remus' fingers hesitated against Severus' somewhat longer than was necessary. Severus had an odd expression on his face as he helped Remus.
Sirius had to admit the hash was working quickly. He closed his eyes and when he opened them, the ground felt oddly tilted. He felt at a different angle to everything than was usual. He took a moment to check that he wasn't actually levitating. Wizard reactions to drugs were sometimes strange and literal. No, he was still on the stone floor of the Astronomy Tower, sitting cross-legged in front of the ridiculous water pipe.
Severus was using his wand to tap the coals on the foil, scooting them around and removing the excess ash. The warming charm was evidently still working. Sirius felt almost overheated and overwhelmed. He peeled off his robes and folded them so that he could sit on top of them. He took another gurgling toke and closed his eyes again as the smoke filled his lungs.
When he opened his eyes, he saw Severus and Remus arranged before him in a passionate embrace, kissing each other deeply. Severus was still sitting cross-legged but Remus now kneeled straddling him.
"Wha- Remus. Bloody hell!"
"Hmmm." The two entangled boys ignored him. Severus had one hand around Remus' waist and the other still held the hose they'd been sharing.
Sirius stared at the mouthpiece in his hand. "My God. Snivellus, you bastard," he exclaimed in a loud, disbelieving voice. "This stuff. This stuff is -- You've spiked it, clearly. With some sort of asro- asro-dish-e-act. Astro-disiac"
Severus reluctantly broke the kiss to look disdainfully at Sirius. "Black, what in the world are you trying to say?"
"Aphrodisiac," Remus explained helpfully.
"Thank you, Moony. Yes. Afro-dizzy-act. Snape, you sneaky bastard."
Severus stared, blinking slowly. "Why do you say that?"
Sirius pointed in disbelief at Remus. "Why else would he be snogging you, Snivellus?" yelled Sirius. He still held his thumb over the end of his mouthpiece.
"Because he finds me irresistibly attractive," Severus said calmly and went back to kissing Remus, the soft, wet sound of their snogging mixing in with the hissing sound of the burning coals.
Sirius rose to the aid of his friend but as soon as he got to his feet, the entire Astronomy Tower slanted to one side and sent him sprawling. At least that was how it felt from Sirius' perspective.
Severus broke the kiss again to reach defensively for the hookah which Sirius had almost knocked over with his foot.
Sirius lay flat on his back and stared at the stars above him. "Snivelly," he asked conversationally. "What'd you spike mine with? A sleeping draught or just outright poison?"
"Nothing, Black; you apparently have no tolerance."
Not moving from his horizontal position, Sirius called out, "Oi, Remus, kiss me."
Remus very obligingly crawled over to where Sirius was, and with his head hanging over Sirius face, leaned down to kiss him, long and deep.
When their lips separated, Sirius crowed proudly, "Ha, Snivellus, it backfired. He's so worked up he'll snog anyone."
"He's here, you know," said Remus, stars shining through his hair. "He can hear everything you say. He'll snog anyone he wants." He crawled back to Severus to resume where he'd left off there.
"Yeah," Sirius cried after him. "But he's clearly a tart who's blown his mind."
Remus separated from Severus with a wet, sucking sound, sat back on his haunches, and looked back and forth between Severus and Sirius. "I know what I want for Christmas," he burst out abruptly. He crept back toward Sirius to whisper in his ear.
"You want what?" Sirius whispered back, shocked.
"You heard me."
"I take it back, then," said Sirius, crossly. "No Christmas present for you."
"You asked," Remus pleaded. “You said, if I could have anything....”
Sirius cast a glance at Severus who was rotating the coals again and checking the water level on his precious pipe. "Snivellus, really?" asked Sirius.
Remus shrugged. "He has a certain something...."
"A venereal disease, no doubt. Lice, most certainly. Greasy, dirty --"
"He's right here, you know," shouted Severus. "What are you two whispering about?"
Sirius didn't answer; he just stared in disbelief at Remus.
"You asked," said Remus.
"Well, it's daft," said Sirius, pushing himself up into a sitting position. "You want me to touch --, to kiss that -- that --"
"What?" said Severus, glaring. "Touch what?"
"Remus wants something French for his Christmas present," said Sirius, nonchalantly.
"What? Toast?" Severus paused for a long moment. "Wait... not bloody likely."
"Come on, Severus," Remus said, moving to nudge himself against the other boy. "It'll be brilliant."
"This isn't like you, Remus," said Sirius. "Snape, what the hell did you lace the hash with?"
"Not a thing, I swear," said Severus, running his hands through Remus' hair possessively. "Lupin is clearly a raging pervert."
Remus smiled wickedly before standing up and pulling off his robes.
"Really, Remus," began Sirius, reasonably. "Any kind of sexual act that can only be described using a French word is never a good idea, especially with a Slytherin involved."
"There is an English word," Remus sighed. "Threesome. It's a nice word, sounds lovely and homely, like wholesome."
"He's gone completely mad," Sirius addressed Severus.
But Severus had gone silent, his eyes intent on Remus as he stripped. Once Remus was completely naked, Severus dived directly for his stomach to press his lips there as though he were worshipping some Greek god.
Sirius blinked and rubbed his eyes. The hash must have been having some effect on him. He saw, on the one hand, a skinny adolescent whom he'd showered with plenty -- Remus starkers was a familiar enough sight, after all -- but on the other hand, he thought he could almost see what Severus was seeing. It was something completely new, something charged with a sexual aspect; a golden brown boy, lanky but lovely. Remus' skin, marred by scars, was nonetheless soft and luscious-looking, spread over well-shaped limbs and a long waist. Sirius whistled softly.
Remus was still standing and Severus was kissing the hard, quaking flesh of Remus' stomach, Remus' cock bobbing just below his chin. Remus, meanwhile, gasped and smiled, looking half aroused, half tickled.
"Suck it, why don't you, Snape?" said Sirius in an awed voice. "Don't be a tease."
He stood so that his could kiss Remus' wet mouth, never taking his eyes off Severus who had, as instructed, taken Remus' cock into his mouth.
Severus seemed to know what he was doing and had soon enough accommodated Remus to the root. Their sucking, grunting cries spilled out over the battlements of the tower and into the chilled night air until Remus, appearing on the verge, broke the kiss and panted impatiently, "No, no, you -- You two -- I want to see you two.... "
Remus plucked himself from Severus' mouth and twisted around to struggle with Sirius' clothes. Sirius shoved him away gently and pulled them off himself. Finally, naked, Sirius stretched and flexed his cramped muscles. He smiled when he noticed Severus gaping.
"Like what you see, Snivelly?" Sirius asked, settling down on top of his earlier discarded robes. "You really are bent."
"What if I am?"
Severus remained dressed but tumbled on top of Sirius the moment the other boy sat on the ground, kissing and touching everything he could.
Severus was clumsy; his hands, long-fingered and deft with potions or spells, seemed useless here, passion and pot apparently addling his brain.
"Slow down, you great greasy git," Sirius huffed.
Severus pulled back, breathless, and waited.
It was Remus who finally took charge.
"Here, Severus, you go down on Sirius like you did on me. Lovely."
Severus' warm mouth was on Sirius before he'd had time to really process what Remus had said. He groaned and looked down; surprisingly aroused by the severe angles of Severus' face, his cheeks sucked in, his mouth stretched. Severus' eyes were squeezed shut and his large beak-like nose was buried deep in Sirius' pubic hair.
"Now, Sirius," said Remus. "You do me."
"Kiss me, first," gasped Sirius.
Remus obliged him and Sirius was quite overwhelmed in a warm, wet oblivion.
Remus pulled out of the kiss and straddled Sirius, pushing him flat. Remus' cock dangled above him. Sirius flicked at it with his tongue. It jumped and swayed a bit out of reach. Remus lowered himself some more. Sirius, never having done anything like this before, licked at it tentatively, swirling his tongue around the head and stabbing it into the tiny hole, savouring the sharp, strange flavour.
There was grunting and groaning coming from all three boys and Sirius felt his orgasm mounting under the ministrations of Severus' skilled mouth. Severus, Sirius had to admit, clearly knew what he was doing, and Sirius was pretty sure that he, in contrast, was making a muddle of it with Remus, especially when Remus hissed something apprehensive about teeth.
Remus, who seemed to sense Sirius' misgivings and his approaching climax, pulled away and rearranged himself so that he could watch and kiss Sirius through his intense and protracted orgasm. Sirius cried out, and he was usually quiet about such things but this was different from anything he'd ever felt before. He pushed out from under Severus who was still sucking at his sensitive cock and wrapped his arms around Remus.
"God," he said stupidly as he watched Severus wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. Sirius was panting hard. He turned to look back at Remus, lowering his hands to find Remus' cock, hard against his belly, "Moony, you -- sorry, mate," he said once he had his breath back. "I'll try again."
"No, not yet," said Remus. "Severus was left out. It's his turn"
Sirius made a face. But it was Severus who objected aloud. "I'm not letting that incompetent put his mouth on me," he said defiantly. "I'll fuck him."
"You certainly won't," shouted Sirius.
"I'll fuck him out of charity," Severus explained.
"Ha," laughed Sirius, scornfully. "You'd strangle your own mother for five minutes with me, you arse bandit."
"That's rich coming from someone who just came all over my...."
Remus shut them both up by seizing Sirius' hand and giving it a long sloppy lick up the palm. Both Sirius and Severus watched silent and wide eyed as he continued thoroughly wetting the entire surface of Sirius' hand.
"Here," said Remus, pressing Sirius' damp palm against Severus' red straining cock which he found peeping out of Severus robes and pants. "You know how to do that, don't you?"
What teenage boy didn't? The angle was awkward and a little distracting but he took to it like a duck to water. Sirius thought the cock felt almost angry, like it was struggling against him in his hand, but that could have been his imagination. Neither he nor Severus was looking at one another but both had their eyes glued on Remus, the enchanting orchestrator of this madness.
Remus crawled over to take another toke from the hookah. He stared back at them through a cloud of smoke. "You look so hot, the two of you," he giggled.
"Here," said Sirius, reaching out his free hand. "Give me."
Remus passed it over. Sirius took a long toke and handed the mouthpiece to Severus. Severus inhaled and exhaled a few seconds later, blowing smoke all over Sirius who choked and squeezed Severus a little harder than necessary in revenge.
Sirius had become quite absorbed in his work. He squeezed and pulled on Severus' cock, which was growing wetter and slicker from sweat and pre-come, and Severus thrust back involuntarily.
"Here," gasped Severus, gesturing to Remus. When Remus was close enough, Severus took another toke from the hookah and kissed Remus, exhaling into Remus' mouth. Remus held the smoke down, his face almost comical before letting it out.
"Me," said Sirius. Remus took a drag and repeated Severus' actions with Sirius.
Remus was straddling Sirius' hands and Severus' cock while he exhaled into Sirius' mouth and the proximity was too much for Severus. He gasped and came, splashing Sirius and Remus both.
"You now," said Sirius to Remus, wiping his hands on the hem of Severus' robes. "How do you want it?"
Remus licked his lips and looked thoughtful. "Severus can finish up what he started earlier," he said, leaning back against Sirius' damp, heaving chest while Severus, almost immediately, slid back into place between Remus' thighs.
Sirius felt a pang of jealousy but consoled himself by kissing the soft skin of Remus' neck and pulling long hits off the hookah while Remus squirmed and shuddered in his arms.
***
Later that night, Remus slipped into Sirius‘ bed. Sirius, feeling exhausted but still keyed up, cuddled him his arms.
"Do you really fancy Snivellus?" Sirius whispered.
"I neither like nor dislike him," replied Remus. A tiny smile danced on his lips. Sirius could tell he was remembering something from earlier in the evening. "Honestly, though... I think sometimes do like him, quite a bit."
"More than me?" Sirius asked in as casual a voice as he could manage.
"You're Sirius Black," said Remus.
Sirius sighed happily; he didn't need the significance of that explained. He hugged Remus tighter, revelling in the warmth of the slighter form against his own rangy body.
"You know," said Remus. "We could -- you know -- again. With Severus..."
"No," exclaimed Sirius. "You said tonight only."
"Severus told me he could sneak us into the Slytherin common room, tomorrow," Remus said dreamily. "You've always wanted to see --"
"I've always wanted to sabotage...." Sirius interrupted.
"Fantastic, it’s all set then," said Remus brightly. "Severus will be so pleased."
Sirius imagined he wouldn't be. Whatever Severus had had planned, it probably hadn't included Sirius, but hell if Sirius would let that Slytherin bastard have Remus to himself. All in all, thought Sirius, it was turning out to be an interesting Christmas.
Fin
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BTW, after I wrote this, in order to double-check my stoner slang, I decided to do some extensive research into the British 70's drug scene the best way I know how, reading Harry Potter slash. I was rec'd these to pothead gems, Reefer Madness by xochiquetzl and Under the Influence by Fabula Rasa. Check them out, dudes, they're groovy.