HP Fic: Hog's Head, Snape/Lupin NC-17

[anneline]

Title: Hog's Head
Characters: Lupin/Snape
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Not mine
Summary: Snape and Lupin at the Hog's Head Inn
Warnings: A little angst, some silliness, and lots of sex
Betas: regan_v, ion_bond, sor_bet -- Thank y'all.



August 1, 1993

It was late afternoon and Remus Lupin sat in the smallest room available at the Hog's Head. Despite the Inn's reputation, the room was not unpleasant. It hadn't seen a broom or duster in decades and smelled somewhat of goat, but a surprising amount of sunlight poured in through a small window, and a cool breeze kept the summer heat at bay. The furniture was comfortable but in various stages of disrepair and too large for the tiny room. The bottom of the bed was broken and the mattress sagged almost to the floor. The cupboard definitely contained something sinister and the drapes buzzed with doxies but still Lupin felt cosy. He was wearing an old but comfortable muggle shirt and loose trousers so he wouldn't wrinkle his robes. He was down to only two sets and he wouldn't be able to buy new ones for quite some time. He was nestled in an ugly brown low-backed armchair reading Eldred Worple's latest book on vampires. Something nagged at him, something he didn't want to think about. He pushed it out of his mind and focused on his book. Dust floated around him and turned to glitter wherever the sunlight caught it. Severus Snape's Apparition stirred up a sparkling whirlwind.

Lupin lifted his head when he heard the loud crack. There stood Snape in the middle of the room, blinking in a wash of light. He cradled in one arm the Wolfsbane potion, its vial wrapped in newspapers, straw, and string to protect it from damage. In his free hand he held an antique-looking bottle by its neck.

Snape and Lupin had ended up in bed together enough times, both before and after they left Hogwart's, for Remus to start thinking of their encounters, not as mistakes, but rather welcome diversions. The circumstances of their lives meant that these reunions were few and far between. This suited Lupin fine, but when the Wolfsbane was discovered, there was a part of him that secretly hoped that it would mean he’d get to see more of Snape. However, it was usually Dumbledore who delivered the potion or they sometimes risked sending it by owl. Lupin always looked forward to Dumbledore's monthly visits; it was the one pleasant aspect of his furry little problem but there were other pleasures he craved that made him wish that Snape would bring it more often. So it was with no small amount of excitement that Lupin watched the tall black figure materialize.

It'd been three years since the last time Snape brought Lupin the Wolfsbane, the summer right after Slytherin had taken both the House and Quidditch Cups. Lupin's parents had just moved down to Eastbourne and Lupin was staying in their cottage until they sold it.

"Professor Dumbledore's ill so I volunteered to bring you the Wolfsbane," said Snape stooping to get out of the fireplace and scattering dust all over the carpet.

"Really," said Lupin, smiling. "Sure you're not just here to brag about Slytherin winning the Quidditch Cup?"

"What, that? That's nothing, just a huge shiny thing I have to display prominently in my sitting room." Snape replied nonchalantly. "House cup too, incidentally. Just more things to dust -- how'd you hear?"

"I got an owl from Professor Dumbledore saying you'd be coming to gloat about the Quidditch win." Lupin had been in a state of nervous agitation since the owl's arrival that morning.

"Nonsense, I don't gloat," said Snape. He placed the Wolfsbane carefully on a side table. "Besides,” he admitted. “That's what Minerva's for. She actually started crying over breakfast."

Lupin laughed, "Why me? I never went in for all that inter-house rivalry."

"Who else am I supposed to gloat over?" Snape was wandering around the room, picking up objects and scrutinizing the baby pictures of Lupin that were hung proudly around the fireplace. "Am I supposed to go to Azkaban and poke at Black with a stick?"

"Please Severus, don't-" Lupin stopped, "Wait, you didn't, did you?"

"Of coarse not, the dementors wouldn't have let me anywhere near him."

"Severus --"

"Your home--", Snape interrupted. "You're a bit obsessed with toile, aren't you Lupin?"

"My mother's obsessed with toile, Severus." Snape had looked more stooped than ever as if a heavy weight hung from his neck. His face was gaunt and sour but Lupin couldn't stop staring. "My God, do you realize it's been years since I've seen you."

"Really," sighed Snape. "Doesn't seem that long ago. I suppose time flies when you're wasting away in painful obscurity."

"You seem--" Lupin observed that a bitter hardness had settled into Snape's eyes. So much had happened since they'd last met, so much and so little. "You seem-- erm -well?"

Snape just turned and gazed at him with a look of disbelief.

Lupin smiled and continued, "You could have volunteered to bring me the Wolfsbane earlier."

"I wasn't even making it at first," Snape huffed. "Professor Dumbledore had Damocles Belby doing it until he got too busy being famous. Insufferable bastard,” Snape hissed. “I was this close to discovering the potion formula and he beat me to publication by a month. That Order of Merlin should have been mine. It's not my fault that I lost all that time testifying against my friends and getting them all sent to Azkaban," his voice was sarcastic but his eyes flashed with anger and his contemptuous features fell slightly. Snape picked up the bottle of Wolfsbane and twirled it around to study its viscosity. "I think I've improved it a great deal since I started making it, I'm sure you've noticed... What?" Lupin was laughing.

"Nothing," Lupin laughed. "Do you want to fuck me?"

"God, yes," said Snape, putting the bottle down carefully and shoving Lupin back against a toile-covered sofa. "Lupin, do you know how long it's been since Slytherin had the Quidditch Cup?"

And Lupin had seen stars, actual stars when Snape took him, or rather little pops of light in front of his eyes -- tears in the fabric of the air.

That was three years ago and Snape looked the same. His eyes were black and cold but Lupin fancied Snape was glad to see him.

"Hello Severus."

"Lupin," said Snape, coolly

"Did Professor Dumbledore tell you which room to find me in?"

"Yes," Snape looked around critically. "Why are you here and not the Three Broomsticks?"

"I don't know," sighed Lupin. "This place has more..."

"Bedbugs, lice, contagious diseases?"

"Charm."

"Ah," Snape wrinkled his nose.

"I'm trying to save some money is all," Lupin said stepping back.

"What about the cottage?" said Snape.

"Sold it."

"To live here?" Snape's eyes narrowed. He looked at Lupin sceptically.

"This is temporary." Lupin changed the subject. "When should I take the potion?"

"Tomorrow morning," said Snape handing the wrapped package to Lupin. He lifted up the antique bottle in his other hand, "This is for tonight."

"What? Oh, here, sit down. What is it? Firewhisky?" Lupin pointed to the armchair. There were no other chairs in the room, so Lupin sat on the edge of the bed after he placed the package on top of his chest.

"Professor Dumbledore told me to give it to you," said Snape. "It's a gift -- 'to celebrate'. He said you'd know why." Snape looked at Lupin suspiciously. "It's an excellent vintage."

"Old Ogden's has a vintage?" Lupin said incredulously.

"Look at the year."

"1345? Is that a good year?" Lupin asked. Snape nodded and started using a pocket knife to cut through the thick coating of wax that encased the neck of the bottle. "Why are you using a knife?" Lupin said. "Use your wand."

"No wand, it affects the flavour."

"Firewhisky has flavour?"

"Possibly," grunted Snape as he carved. "Every time I drink it I get too drunk to remember."

Lupin stared at Snape's hands. The tips of all of Snape's stained fingers were calloused and Lupin trembled a little, remembering the rough scratchy feel of them on his skin.

"What are you living on, incidentally?" Snape remarked casually. "Unemployment checks from the Ministry?"

"I'm-" Lupin let out an exasperated sigh. "They won't let me work. You know that."

"Really?" prodded Snape. "Won't let you do anything? They won't let you drive the Night Bus, or bus tables at the Leaky Cauldron?"

"You know that's not what I mean..."

"What'd you think?" Snape scoffed. "They'd let you be an Auror? Just because of your precious vigilante work during the war. Thought they'd be grateful?"

"I could-"

"No you couldn't," Snape interrupted. "Not even Professor Dumbledore could get you a job as an Auror."

"Can we not talk about it?" Lupin felt a heat rising up his neck.

"And now with the new laws... "

Lupin clenched his fist, "Shut up. Don't say anything. No words, please. Can't we just -"

"Fuck!"

"What?" Lupin looked confused.

"Cut myself. Fuck!" Snape had dropped the pocket knife to the floor and was clumsily attempting to wrap his hand with the hem of his robe.

"I told you to use your wand," said Lupin standing to fetch a towel from the other side of the room.

"Affects the flavour." Snape said defiantly.

"I'm telling you firewhisky has no flavour!" Lupin knelt at Snape's feet and untwisted his hand from the robes so that he could dab at it with the towel.

"Fuck!" snarled Snape, angrily.

It wasn't a very deep cut, just a thin slice across the palm. Lupin fetched his wand and dragged it lightly over the wound. "It'll be fine. You shouldn't swear so much now that you're a teacher."

"Don't remind me," Snape studied his mended palm. "Very well," he sighed. "No talking and no fucking firewhisky." He slammed the bottle hard on the floor, stirring up a nest dust-bunnies under the bed. Then Snape flopped back into the chair, and sat there looking sour. This, of all things, tugged Lupin forward. He crawled up Snape's legs, climbed on top of him and kissed him without really thinking. Snape closed his eyes but Lupin kept his open. The intensity of Snape's expression made it seem to Lupin as if he were trying to force the whole moment into a Pensieve too small to hold it.

"It'll shatter," Lupin said.

"What?" said Snape, opening his eyes.

"Nothing," Lupin pressed his mouth against Snape's again. Snape responded instantly; he kissed back desperately and lifted himself upward to press against Lupin. Lupin slid his hands into Snape's lank hair to hold his head steady while he continued his thorough exploration of Snape's lips and mouth. His chin rubbed against Snape's stubble, raw, rough. He loved it. He ran his tongue along Snape's crooked teeth, savouring the warmth of his mouth, the hungry pull of his tongue.

Snape tugged up Lupin's shirt from the behind with an almost angry gesture. Lupin gasped as he felt Snape's rough hands against the exposed small of his back. Lupin broke away, leaning back so he could remove his shirt entirely. He sat there on Snape's lap, his naked, bony chest heaving.

Snape's black eyes were still cold but hungry. Greedy, thought Lupin. Snape reached out and trailed a finger down Lupin's chest; his touch was gentle and reverent. His fingertips inevitably found and followed the path of hair that started at Lupin's bellybutton and descended straight down. Lupin undid his own flies so that Snape's hand could explore further. He felt himself growing harder under those deft fingers than he'd been in ages. He leaned forward again so he could feel the other erection against his own. He rubbed and twisted until Snape was thrusting back uncontrollably in a sweet grinding rhythm.

Lupin struggled unsuccessfully with Snape's robes until Snape, with a grunt of frustration, shoved Lupin off the chair. Standing, he pulled his robes off over his head. Snape's bare chest was the colour of old parchment, and looked dusty in the sunlight. Red freckle-like spots mottled his neck and shoulders. Lupin wound his arm around Snape's waist and pulled him back into a crushing embrace. He kissed the hollow of Snape's cheek, his earlobes, and Snape's neck from his ear to his shoulder, savouring the warm, rapid pulse that surged beneath his lips. Snape's cock had already worked its way out of the front of his shorts. It looked brash compared to the rest of Snape's plain body-- large, bright red, stripy with prominent blue veins. Lupin licked his lips and slid to his knees. The musky strong smell made him dizzy and excited.

Lupin gently caressed Snape's inner thighs, sliding his hands slowly up to the v between his legs. He rolled Snape's balls between his fingers, gently tugged, then explored the shaft of the cock and its bulbous tip, lightly touching every inch with his fingers. Then he took a deep breath and licked a long wet stripe up the underside. He stopped a moment looked up at Snape and then repeated the motion. He looked back up at Snape.

Snape glared down. "What's the matter? You know what to do, don't you?"

"I do," said Lupin, breathlessly. "It's just- Sit down. It'll be easier."

"I'm not so sure."

Snape pulled off his pants and went to sit down, but looking at the chair, thought better of it. He grabbed his robe, draped it over the back and threadbare seat, and sat on down naked on top of it. Lupin shook his head and crawled between Snape's legs and finally took Snape's cock into his mouth. Lupin concentrated on keeping his teeth covered with his lips and his mouth taut. He glided down as deep as he could, careful not to gag. He flattened his tongue against the shaft of Snape's cock as he pulled his mouth back up. Relax, relax, he thought, his body shaking with excitement and exertion.

Snape groaned with pleasure and Lupin smiled as best he could around Snape's cock. He wormed his tongue into Snape's foreskin and swirled around the head before pulling in his cheeks and sliding his mouth down once more. His hands began to explore, almost on their own, Snape's balls and the smooth skin behind them. Lupin found Snape's puckered anus and pressed it once firmly. Snape groaned again loudly and grabbed Lupin's hair, pulling him away.

"Bed," said Snape thickly, "Now."

He pushed Lupin towards it. Lupin climbed up onto the sagging mattress and did his best to stay upright on his hands and knees. Snape grabbed his wand and climbed up after him. Snape tapped the small of Lupin's back and Lupin felt suddenly very relaxed and slick. Snape wasted no time in pressing his cock hard against Lupin's arse.

"Easy, Severus," gasped Lupin. "Go slow. It's been a while." A surge of pleasure swelled in his groin as felt the wonderful penetrating fullness of Snape's cock. As Snape pushed forward the whole bed pitched in on itself, the headboard veering dangerously towards them. Snape seemed not to notice as he began a slow pull out and another fierce thrust forward. The bed shook and creaked.

"Jesus, Snape, the bed's going to collapse right under us. We can't do this here."

Snape grunted in annoyance and pulled out. He climbed off the bed and pulled Lupin after him. Putting his hand on the back of his neck, he shoved Lupin over the back of the easy chair and shoved his cock back home. Lupin sighed and relaxed into the driving rhythm Snape set. There were no sounds except heavy hard breathing and a soft slapping sound that struck Lupin as lewd. Lupin's cock was being rubbed back and forth beneath him and he knew that he was close to orgasm.

"Severus, I'm going to come," he gasped.

Snape made some unintelligible remark.

"No, you don't understand- your robe-" Lupin's cock was twisted into the black fabric that Snape had left draped over the back of the chair. "I'm going to come-" huffed Lupin, "and your robe... Ah never mind." sighed Lupin as a sweet contentment rolled over him. Snape growled angrily and increased his pace. Lupin's cock was so sensitive still rubbing under him he thought he might die. Still, he loved it, the dirty feeling that overwhelmed him, Snape pounding into him. He pressed his face into his hands and thought of nothing while Snape erupted with a long soft groan.

Snape pulled out. He stood unsteadily as Lupin twisted around to face him. The two of them were drenched in sweat. Snape kissed Lupin wetly, passionately. And Lupin felt as if he could melt right there and then into all that wetness, heat and happiness. Lupin grabbed Snape's robe and used a dry end of it to wipe Snape off then he started wiping off his own stomach and between his legs. Snape glared.

"It was already messed up," Lupin said. "I'll do a cleansing charm. But not now. Now, I'm exhausted." Lupin pushed past Snape and climbed into the bed and under the covers. "Come on," he said to Snape sleepily. He was always so tired around the full moon. Always exhausted. Snape crawled in beside Lupin and lay flat. Lupin draped himself across Snape and laid his head down against the black thatch of hair in the centre of Snape's chest.

They lay there like that, silently, for a few minutes surrounded by the heavy damp smell of sex and sweat. Snape's arm rested casually across his stomach. Lupin could see the Dark Mark. It had faded since the last time he saw it, but it still gave Lupin an uneasy feeling.

"How'd you get this?" Lupin asked, pointing to a strange discoloured patch of skin on Snape's forearm, right above the Dark Mark. The skin looked painfully puckered and was a rusty brown colour.

"Spilled wormwood acid on myself," said Snape. "Ate right through my sleeve. It was stupid. Burned for days and the stain never left."

"Look," Lupin pushed himself up with both his elbows resting on Snape's chest; he pointed to a tiny spot of black on his upper arm.

"What's that?" Snape lifted his head to get a closer look. The spot was small and calm looking, surrounded by the same angry, white scars that flared everywhere on Lupin's body. "Ink?"

"Sirius, in first year, he stabbed me with a quill, the tip came off. He said it was an accident but it hurt and I lost my temper, I yelled at him for being careless. We had a big row. He wouldn't talk to me for a week. I was so miserable. I wrote every night for my mother to let me come home. Then one day, Sirius says, 'come on Remus, we're going to the lake'. Just like that, like nothing ever happened. We never fought again until... Well you know..."

Snape said nothing.

Lupin lay back down. He grabbed Snape's hand and played with it lazily -- winding and unwinding his fingers with Snape's. Lupin still had a callus on the third finger of his right hand from writing with a quill, the kind school boys always had. Snape had one there too, stained a deep nicotine yellow. Lupin remembered that Sirius and James had always had blisters and calluses on their palms from riding brooms. When James mussed his hair and you could sometimes notice them. Snape's palms were smooth.

"It's like another planet." Lupin said suddenly. "Unreal, the two of us -- like this. Everything else seems a really long way off right now. "

"Hmm," said Snape.

The sun was setting and the room was now a brilliant orange. The moon wasn't out yet but Lupin could feel its approach. So fat and pregnant -- one more day and it'd be full. So tired, thought Lupin. He closed his eyes and felt sleep cover him like a blanket.

Lupin woke some time later to the sound of metal scraping glass.

"What's-" he yawned. "Severus?"

"Victory!" said Snape, holding up the opened bottle of whisky proudly. Thick clumps of bright red wax and bits of cork were strewn about the floor, the debris of some great battle. The room was quite dark now. Snape's wand glowing on the bedside table provided the only light. The Inn's evening clientele had started to arrive and there was a low rowdy rumble audible from downstairs.

Snape a long swig from the whisky bottle and winced. "Ah. There you go."

"Flavour?" asked Lupin, sitting up in the bed.

"Absolutely none," said Snape, taking another swig. "Unless fiery, awful death is a flavour. Here."

Lupin shook his head when Snape proffered the bottle to him.

"Go on," said Snape. "Where's your Gryffindor courage?"

"Hmph." Lupin rolled his eyes but he took the bottle, tipped it up for a long deep swallow. "Jesus," he sputtered, coughing and dribbling whisky down his chin.

"Wasteful," Snape scolded. He looked skeletal in the long shadowed light.

Lupin smiled and took another drink. "Mm. It's rather good the second time. When you're more prepared for it." His stomach churned and he felt light-headed. "It works fast, though, doesn't it?"

"You just can't hold your liquor," said Snape, grabbing the bottle and taking two more gulps in short succession.

Lupin reached for the bottle but Snape pulled it out of his grasp. "No, tell me what we're celebrating, Lupin."

"Wha- Oh, why Professor Dumbledore gave - you mean..." Lupin grabbed again for the bottle.

"Yes."

"It's a secret."

"Hmm," Snape sounded suspicious and almost angry.

"You'll find out soon enough," said Lupin defiantly. He caught the bottle and took an eager drink. "What do you care anyway?" He slurred a bit. "Three years, Severus, since I've seen you. You could have come, once or something. Could have found some reason." He hiccupped and took another swig from the bottle.

"What makes you think I wasn't otherwise occupied?" said Snape grabbing the bottle back.

"Oh really," said Lupin drunkenly. "Let me guess... Lucius Malfoy?"

"He's married," Snape replied dryly.

"From what I hear that doesn't stop Malfoys." Lupin and Snape continued passing the bottle back and forth. "Quirrell?"

"No."

"Lockhart?"

"God!"

"Is that a yes or a no?" Lupin laughed. "Hmm, one of the Weasley boys, Bill or Charlie. I get them mixed up; which one's gay again?"

"Lupin," Snape sighed. "When did you become such a gossipy old hag?"

"Didn't become," Lupin laughed. "Always have been. Now tell me about Minerva and that Madam Hooch."

"Not likely," Snape held the whisky bottle up to the dim light. "Here, let's finish this bottle and I'll go."

"No," exclaimed Lupin. "Spend the night."

"I don't think so," Snape said quietly.

"Stay, stay," Lupin pleaded.

"Lupin-"

"Severus," Lupin whined. "It's been ages since I shagged anyone. And I can't go again until tomorrow."

Snape looked at Lupin and once around the room. He took a long drink from the bottle and said, "Very well. No excessive cuddling and if you snore I'll hex your larynx shut."

"Lovely; it's all set then."

They slept soundly in the dark room, the racket below them fading eventually into sinister whispering. The silver light from the nearly full moon gave them the pallor of corpses but they were warm and entangled. They kept sliding together toward the centre of the bed because of the sagging mattress. Lupin woke a few times completely jumbled up with Snape. He smiled and fell back to sleep easily.

The morning light found Lupin half-awake in a state of warm tumescence. He lay there thinking, trying to piece together something-- like a half-remembered dream-- something he had to remember. He saw Snape then sprawled out, all yellow angles, and forgot it completely.

He watched Snape. Even sleeping, Snape seemed tense, angry. Snape opened his eyes; black and inscrutable, they didn't change as they focused on Lupin's face.

Lupin smiled. "Morning."

Snape moved in like an owl after prey and kissed him.

"Yecch," said Lupin. "Brush your teeth."

"You brush yours," said Snape.

Lupin yawned and pulled himself somehow out of the bed. He stretched; the small of his back throbbed and there were sharp shooting pains in his legs. "God, I'm sore," he moaned, stretching backward. He looked at Snape who was almost smirking. "Don't look so smug," he laughed.

He staggered towards the dressing table where a basin rested next to his toothbrush and razor. He used his wand to fill the basin with warm sudsy water which he splashed on his face before starting on his teeth.

Snape moved up behind Lupin. He noticed Lupin's watch on the dressing table and transfigured it into a toothbrush.

"I paid 50 quid for that," said Lupin, his mouth full of toothpaste.

"Transfigure it back," said Snape as he started brushing his teeth.

"They're never the same," said Lupin, spitting into the basin. "The band itches."

"You're really talentless aren't you?" said Snape, spitting also.

Lupin ignored him, "I've got no hangover at all."

"I told you it was a good vintage," said Snape. He waved his wand and the water disappeared. Snape grabbed the bottle from beside the bed and drained what little was left.

"If you say so," Lupin was walking around the room, picking up socks and underwear.

The door to the room was next to the dressing table. Snape stopped and stared at it for a moment. It was a faded blue and full of knots.

"This room," said Snape quietly. "Did Dumbledore tell you to take it? I mean this room specifically."

"No," said Lupin. "I just asked for the cheapest one. Why?"

"It's just familiar, is all."

"Hmm." Lupin was distracted. He was trying a cleansing spell on Snape's robe and it wasn't coming out right.

Suddenly, Snape was grabbing him from behind. "Here, bugger me, already," he said assertively.

Lupin looked surprised but pleased. "All right, darling."

"No 'darling'," said Snape, pushing Lupin onto the chair and climbing on top of him. Lupin was almost surprised to find himself so hard.

Just fuck- fuck me," groaned Snape. Lupin reached down, feeling vainly for a wand. Snape grabbed his from the discarded robe, cast a quick spell and then impaled himself on Lupin's cock. He was slick and tight. Lupin gasped and Snape cried out.

"God, did I hurt you?" Lupin asked nervously. It felt wonderful. Tight, scratchy, hot. "Severus, are you sure?"

Snape silenced him with a kiss, hard and so overwhelming that Lupin had to break away to breathe.

"No, Christ. Lupin. Fuck, Merlin, fuck," said Snape.

"God, Severus," said Lupin. Snape was sliding up and down but Lupin didn't like being so constrained. He wanted to set the pace. "Wait," he said. There was an old oriental rug on the floor under a thick, flat layer of dust. He managed somehow to manoeuvre Snape to the ground and there, face to face, they fucked. There were no words, just gasps and grunts and final moans. Lupin rolled off Snape and lay sated and sticky. He stared at the ceiling and smiled. Snape got up and started dressing. Lupin watched him a bit and then decided to do the same.

"Ow, ow. My back," he moaned as he stood up. "Now it really hurts."

"You're pathetic," said Snape, pulling on his socks.

Lupin went to his chest to fetch clean socks and underwear. The Wolfsbane sat there, still wrapped.

"Oh, I'd best take the Wolfsbane before I forget," said Lupin, unwrapping the package. The first sheet of newspaper he peeled away was an old Prophet. The front page proclaimed in an enormous headline the escape of Sirius Black. Sirius's face, twisted and insane-looking, took up most of the page.

"God, Severus you're horrible sometimes," said Lupin, as he stared at Black raving silently from the paper.

"What, I had to wrap it in newspaper," said Snape. He was brushing his wand over his robe, re-doing the cleansing spell. "If I was jostled while Apparating or landed wrong - Hadn't you heard the news?"

"Please, Severus why do you have to be this way?" Lupin sighed. "Do you think this is why I'm here?"

"I don't know. Why are you meeting with Dumbledore? Why the-"

"Snape! Do you really think me capable- Professor Dumbledore capable- of- of. You have such a brilliant mind but you have such petty thoughts sometimes."

"What if he came to you? What if asked you to hide him?"

"I'd never."

"The Ministry has said- It says in that article. They've promised the dementors the Kiss if they find Black. That doesn't bother you?"

His voice was hollow and dry. No. He felt his nose swell and itch, his eyes filled. He opened them wide, "No" He gave up, squeezing his eyes shut and covered them with one hand. With the other he crumpled up the newspaper and threw it violently and angrily to the ground. In his mind he saw clearly a beautiful brown-eyed boy with sunlight caught in his hair. The whole scene was oversaturated in green and yellow, Sirius was smiling -- his soul sparking behind his eyes.

Lupin sniffed and dropped his hand; everything faded into the washed-out, dirty brown room. There was Snape, grim and ugly, but he actually looked stricken. Almost guilty, Lupin thought. He laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. He pulled the stopper from the potion vial and lifted it towards Snape, "Cheers," he said hoarsely and drank the liquid down in one gulp. "Ugh, that's terrible."

"Blame Belby," Snape said. He grabbed a mug and filled it with cold charmed water from his wand. "Here," he handed it to Lupin. Lupin grabbed the cup. When their fingers touched, Snape blurted out angrily, "You're upset because one of your friends turned traitor and killed three others? How do you think I-- How do you think I--" He stopped and stared silently.

"Severus, we've all been through hell haven't we?" Lupin drank the water. "I'd rather have tea."

"I think I can do tea," said Snape, pointing his wand at the cup.

"No," said Lupin. “Let's get out of this room. Let's go downstairs." He put down the cup, opened his chest and rummaged around for some clean clothes.

"Never," snapped Snape. "I'll sleep here, I'll fuck on the floor here, but I won't have tea here. You have no idea what goes on in that kitchen. We'll go to Rosmerta's. I'll pay."

"Brilliant," said Lupin, putting on his clothes. "Since you're paying I'll have breakfast too."

Snape bristled. "If I'm buying you breakfast you should tell me why Professor Dumbledore gave you the-"

"It's nothing, really," Lupin tied his shoes. "Got a new job, actually."

"Wait," Snape paused. His face darkened. "Don't say Hogwarts."

"Fine."

"Don't say Defence Against the Dark Arts."

"I won't," Lupin slipped on his tweed outer robe.

"Dumbledore hates me," said Snape, collapsing back into the easy chair, his face a mask of contempt.

"He doesn't, he likes you a lot. He likes you a good deal more than -- than -- well, than makes any sort of sense, to be honest." Me, too, for that matter, thought Lupin. I'm too old to be this reckless.

Lupin grabbed Snape's hand and pulled him up. "Come on, Severus. Now that we're both thoroughly miserable, let's have something to eat. I have to go back to London after the change and then I won't be back until the start of term. Think how much you'll miss me."

"I won't," said Snape. But he grabbed Lupin, pulled him tight and kissed him hard. "I won't," he said, pressing his forehead against Lupin's.