Mirror, Mirror
Well, even though I haven't been writing much, my weekend was actually pretty full. I've done a good job of making myself go out and do something almost every day, even the days I don't have work. Having my bike is *awesome*. As Steve says, it's my noble steed. I love riding it in the neighborhood I live it, which is pretty leafy and the houses have a lot of character. I like to go as fast as I can and slalom around (something that has gotten me into some near misses already!). I told Steve I feel really sexy when I ride my bike, like I can take on anything. ;) It's very empowering!
So let's see... what did I do. On Thursday night, when everyone was at Magic, me and Dan watched five straight hours of Buffy (we are making our way through the season four DVD). That was really a good time, though we felt a little bad for Aris and Jeff missing them. We watched Hush... that episode never ceases to amaze and scare the crap out of me. It's truly something. We hung out a bit, too, and it was just neat to have quiet time with Dan.
Then, on Friday, we went to the library (on our bikes... heh!) and checked out some stuff to read, and I got one of the Lupin III movies on VHS. :) We love Lupin! I told Steve he'd enjoy the show because he's so much like Lupin, but he was convinced he'd hate it because it was anime. Now he's really really into it, so I can always hold it over his head and tell him that he should trust my judgment more. ;) That's always a good feeling.
On Saturday Steve and I walked all the way out to IHOP for lunch, and the place was packed despite it being summer. It really must be the most popular restaurant on or near campus, though I'll never understand why. Maybe it's just comforting. Anyway, on the way back we stopped in at Babbit's Books (I love that place) and I found (treasure of treasures!) a nice hardbound copy of Bulfinch's The Age of Fable for $3.50 and a selection of stories from Arabian Nights for $2. The former I had been wanting so I could have it as a reference to common classical myths, and the latter just reminds me of reading Sheherazade and the 1000 Arabian Nights (is that the right title?) when I was a kid. That book was right up there with Jack the Giant-Killer (I really had a soft spot for folktales, I guess. I blame my mom).
Today we just sort of hung around the house... what *did* I do? Hmm... I think I was just lazy. :) I played some Magic Online with Steve for the first time in a while, and that was pretty fun. We cooked dinner for our friends and watched the Nemesis DVD - I maintain that it is my favorite Star Trek: TNG movie. It has its issues, but it appeals to me in a lot of ways, and I think it's actually very well done. And Shinzon is a sexy, sexy bitch.
Oh! That reminds me. Decipher sent us the foil cards we won. We got the Scimitar, Picard: Argo Pilot, and Mardok (?). They are so very slick looking. I might scan them in and post them sometime, because I'm proud of them in a sick way. Now I can't say I've never won anything! DABO GIRL!!
Anyway... ^^; Since I'm feeling pretty introspective today, I spent a long time looking into the mirror and thinking about... well, I think I'll put it in a LJ-cut, since this entry is long enough already.
When I look in the mirror and turn to check my clothes, or straighten my hair, or whatever, part of me is always surprised to see myself there - like I don't even expect to have a corporeal body at all. And if I look long enough, I start to feel amazed that I *do* live in the world, that I'm really here. It's sort of like pinching yourself to be sure you're not dreaming.
I think, in my mind anyway, everyone's a superhero. Sometimes it can be truly exhausting just to live - to get up every day, to put on clothes and make ourselves presentable, to go out and do whatever it is that we have to do, to bury our hearts or wear them on our sleeves, to make ourselves into whatever it is we want to be, to make sacrifices and allowances and accept sacrifices and allowances from others. Everything is trying or rewarding, or in some cases both, and where the trials are hard and the rewards are rich the strain grows even more, because extremes of any kind are terrifying and exulting.
I think the fact that we are all individual people, and that we all care about different things, or about the same thing in slightly different ways, is truly staggering. That's what I mean when I say everyone's a superhero. I mean, we may not all be RPG-esque characters with gorgeous costumes and deep, tragic backstories; most people are normal people, and by normal I mean well-adjusted. That's even more impressive, I think. Retaining your sense of self and at the same time fitting into a world of billions of other people that are essentially just like you... that's not bad.
I guess it's part of my theory that we are all much stronger than we ever give ourselves credit for. I think I can honestly say that I am not a fearful person (lazy, yes, anxious, yes, but not fearful). I like to think it's because I keep it all in perspective. I can make myself get up at 8 am and go to work, or to school; I can make myself stay up all night writing a paper; I can make myself put someone else first sometimes; I can shape my life to fit my world, and I can do it on a daily basis. If I can do all that living, and still be happy, and still be me, then I think I can handle *anything*... how could it compare to the infinitely complex act of just being a person every day? It's the hardest thing we ever do, and the thing we handle with such grace that most of the time, we are hardly aware of just how much work we are doing.
I decided lately that the phrase that best sums up how I look at the world is "Fortune favors the brave." I feel like the idea of making your one luck lurks behind it, because I don't really believe in fortune. I think it's really just saying that good things come to people that go stick their foot in the world every day, because you know what? I think that takes a lot more guts than most people think.
I guess that's all I have to say about that. :)
Hope that you are all having beautiful days, and all my love to you :)
So let's see... what did I do. On Thursday night, when everyone was at Magic, me and Dan watched five straight hours of Buffy (we are making our way through the season four DVD). That was really a good time, though we felt a little bad for Aris and Jeff missing them. We watched Hush... that episode never ceases to amaze and scare the crap out of me. It's truly something. We hung out a bit, too, and it was just neat to have quiet time with Dan.
Then, on Friday, we went to the library (on our bikes... heh!) and checked out some stuff to read, and I got one of the Lupin III movies on VHS. :) We love Lupin! I told Steve he'd enjoy the show because he's so much like Lupin, but he was convinced he'd hate it because it was anime. Now he's really really into it, so I can always hold it over his head and tell him that he should trust my judgment more. ;) That's always a good feeling.
On Saturday Steve and I walked all the way out to IHOP for lunch, and the place was packed despite it being summer. It really must be the most popular restaurant on or near campus, though I'll never understand why. Maybe it's just comforting. Anyway, on the way back we stopped in at Babbit's Books (I love that place) and I found (treasure of treasures!) a nice hardbound copy of Bulfinch's The Age of Fable for $3.50 and a selection of stories from Arabian Nights for $2. The former I had been wanting so I could have it as a reference to common classical myths, and the latter just reminds me of reading Sheherazade and the 1000 Arabian Nights (is that the right title?) when I was a kid. That book was right up there with Jack the Giant-Killer (I really had a soft spot for folktales, I guess. I blame my mom).
Today we just sort of hung around the house... what *did* I do? Hmm... I think I was just lazy. :) I played some Magic Online with Steve for the first time in a while, and that was pretty fun. We cooked dinner for our friends and watched the Nemesis DVD - I maintain that it is my favorite Star Trek: TNG movie. It has its issues, but it appeals to me in a lot of ways, and I think it's actually very well done. And Shinzon is a sexy, sexy bitch.
Oh! That reminds me. Decipher sent us the foil cards we won. We got the Scimitar, Picard: Argo Pilot, and Mardok (?). They are so very slick looking. I might scan them in and post them sometime, because I'm proud of them in a sick way. Now I can't say I've never won anything! DABO GIRL!!
Anyway... ^^; Since I'm feeling pretty introspective today, I spent a long time looking into the mirror and thinking about... well, I think I'll put it in a LJ-cut, since this entry is long enough already.
When I look in the mirror and turn to check my clothes, or straighten my hair, or whatever, part of me is always surprised to see myself there - like I don't even expect to have a corporeal body at all. And if I look long enough, I start to feel amazed that I *do* live in the world, that I'm really here. It's sort of like pinching yourself to be sure you're not dreaming.
I think, in my mind anyway, everyone's a superhero. Sometimes it can be truly exhausting just to live - to get up every day, to put on clothes and make ourselves presentable, to go out and do whatever it is that we have to do, to bury our hearts or wear them on our sleeves, to make ourselves into whatever it is we want to be, to make sacrifices and allowances and accept sacrifices and allowances from others. Everything is trying or rewarding, or in some cases both, and where the trials are hard and the rewards are rich the strain grows even more, because extremes of any kind are terrifying and exulting.
I think the fact that we are all individual people, and that we all care about different things, or about the same thing in slightly different ways, is truly staggering. That's what I mean when I say everyone's a superhero. I mean, we may not all be RPG-esque characters with gorgeous costumes and deep, tragic backstories; most people are normal people, and by normal I mean well-adjusted. That's even more impressive, I think. Retaining your sense of self and at the same time fitting into a world of billions of other people that are essentially just like you... that's not bad.
I guess it's part of my theory that we are all much stronger than we ever give ourselves credit for. I think I can honestly say that I am not a fearful person (lazy, yes, anxious, yes, but not fearful). I like to think it's because I keep it all in perspective. I can make myself get up at 8 am and go to work, or to school; I can make myself stay up all night writing a paper; I can make myself put someone else first sometimes; I can shape my life to fit my world, and I can do it on a daily basis. If I can do all that living, and still be happy, and still be me, then I think I can handle *anything*... how could it compare to the infinitely complex act of just being a person every day? It's the hardest thing we ever do, and the thing we handle with such grace that most of the time, we are hardly aware of just how much work we are doing.
I decided lately that the phrase that best sums up how I look at the world is "Fortune favors the brave." I feel like the idea of making your one luck lurks behind it, because I don't really believe in fortune. I think it's really just saying that good things come to people that go stick their foot in the world every day, because you know what? I think that takes a lot more guts than most people think.
I guess that's all I have to say about that. :)
Hope that you are all having beautiful days, and all my love to you :)