Fic: Mistaken Identity
Title: Mistaken Identity
Fandom: Body of Lies, Inception
Rating: T
Disclaimer: If I owned it, the gay would be way more obvious.
Summary: "See these lips? Men have started wars over these lips and the things they can do."
Note: Little piece based on a random flail I threw at Megan. Including the flail below the fic for comparison. Feel free to run with it in the comments and tell me what you think happens next! :D
Mistaken Identity
"I'm sorry, sir, I really think you have me mistaken for someone else."
"What? No, no, Cobb, come on--"
"I'm not Cobb, I told you!"
"Come on, darling, surely you remember dear old Eames. Here, maybe this will--"
"GET YOUR HAND OUT OF MY PANTS!"
"Whoa! Whoa, whoa, hang on a-- holy shit, you're not Cobb!"
"That's what I said!"
"Oh my god, sir, I am so sorry."
"It's... er..."
"...pretty impressive, though, aren't you?"
"WHAT?!"
"Care to... you know. Get to know me a little better?"
"What the, NO."
"Aw, come on. I'm really tight."
"Still no."
"I'll give you a blowjob that'll blow your mind!"
"No!"
"See these lips? Men have started wars over these lips and the things they can do."
"Oh for crying out loud, I'M STRAIGHT. I WILL NEVER HAVE SEX WITH YOU."
"Well that's what Cobb said."
As Roger futilely struggled to end the conversation with the tipsy, lecherous Brit, Ed Hoffman and a control room full of the CIA's best struggled not to fall out of their chairs laughing.
---
flail
Anneka: has anyone written eames hiding out in amman and being like "...you look confusingly like someone i used to fuck with a certain amount of regularity" or whatever?
Megan: LOL probably not
Megan: but Ferris has brown eyes and Cobb's are blue
Anneka: well i didn't say he was identical
Anneka: just that eames would be like "*loudly* NO SERIOUSLY, DARLING. HE LOOKED JUST LIKE YOU. ARE YOU SURE YOU AREN'T COBB? *hums non je ne regrette rien* NO? NOTHING? *downs a shot* HERE, LET'S SLEEP TOGETHER. THAT'LL BE A GOOD WAY TO MAKE SURE YOU AREN'T COBB."
Anneka: and roger's like "o.O WHAT?!"
Megan: LOL
Megan: that would work, totally
Anneka: roger, by coincidence, spies a GID convoy driving past
Anneka: roger leaps for a car, scrambles in, slams the door
Anneka: hani's like "WUT"
Anneka: roger's like "I'M BEING STALKED BY A HORNY ENGLISHMAN O.O"
Anneka: hani's like "...MAY I WATCH, MY DEAR?"
Anneka: eames, being eames, suddenly hops in from the other side of the car
Anneka: roger tries to hide behind hani, but hani just wants to sit back and see what happens
Megan: LOL
Megan: Eames would so know Hani
Anneka: well no
Anneka: he wouldn't KNOW him
Anneka: he'd be like *squint* HAVEN'T I FUCKED YOU BEFORE?
Anneka: and hani would be like "...I BELIEVE I WAS THE ONE DOING THE FUCKING."
Anneka: by now roger's just rocking back and forth weeping
Megan: LOL POOR LUCKY ROGER
Anneka: but no see here's the thing
Anneka: NO FUCKING WOULD OCCUR
Anneka: because drunk eames and entertained hani would just TALK FOR FOREVER
Anneka: ABOUT TOTALLY RANDOM SHIT
---
Barely related, but for my Kingdom Hearts peeps, along with those who like to laugh aka everybody, just wanted to give due credit. I borrowed "I'M STRAIGHT! I WILL NEVER HAVE SEX WITH YOU!" from "Late Night at the Grocery Store" by audio drama geniuses OrgLIX. I never miss a chance to pimp them, so I'm using this flimsy excuse to embed it here. Seriously, check it out. They're hilarious.
"Don't you know who I am? I'm Ansem the Wise, bitch!" --DiZ
"Soul-crushing scientist who treats me as a slave, or crazed dirty old man who treats me like a sex object. Wow. Damned if I do and fucked if I don't-- literally." --Repliku, on Vexen and DiZ
"Peanut butter, doggy treats, condoms, and a nubile boy!"
"When did you get a dog?"
"His name is Pluto, and he does wonderful things with peanut butter!" --Diz, Repliku, DiZ
Fandom: Body of Lies, Inception
Rating: T
Disclaimer: If I owned it, the gay would be way more obvious.
Summary: "See these lips? Men have started wars over these lips and the things they can do."
Note: Little piece based on a random flail I threw at Megan. Including the flail below the fic for comparison. Feel free to run with it in the comments and tell me what you think happens next! :D
Mistaken Identity
"I'm sorry, sir, I really think you have me mistaken for someone else."
"What? No, no, Cobb, come on--"
"I'm not Cobb, I told you!"
"Come on, darling, surely you remember dear old Eames. Here, maybe this will--"
"GET YOUR HAND OUT OF MY PANTS!"
"Whoa! Whoa, whoa, hang on a-- holy shit, you're not Cobb!"
"That's what I said!"
"Oh my god, sir, I am so sorry."
"It's... er..."
"...pretty impressive, though, aren't you?"
"WHAT?!"
"Care to... you know. Get to know me a little better?"
"What the, NO."
"Aw, come on. I'm really tight."
"Still no."
"I'll give you a blowjob that'll blow your mind!"
"No!"
"See these lips? Men have started wars over these lips and the things they can do."
"Oh for crying out loud, I'M STRAIGHT. I WILL NEVER HAVE SEX WITH YOU."
"Well that's what Cobb said."
As Roger futilely struggled to end the conversation with the tipsy, lecherous Brit, Ed Hoffman and a control room full of the CIA's best struggled not to fall out of their chairs laughing.
---
flail
Anneka: has anyone written eames hiding out in amman and being like "...you look confusingly like someone i used to fuck with a certain amount of regularity" or whatever?
Megan: LOL probably not
Megan: but Ferris has brown eyes and Cobb's are blue
Anneka: well i didn't say he was identical
Anneka: just that eames would be like "*loudly* NO SERIOUSLY, DARLING. HE LOOKED JUST LIKE YOU. ARE YOU SURE YOU AREN'T COBB? *hums non je ne regrette rien* NO? NOTHING? *downs a shot* HERE, LET'S SLEEP TOGETHER. THAT'LL BE A GOOD WAY TO MAKE SURE YOU AREN'T COBB."
Anneka: and roger's like "o.O WHAT?!"
Megan: LOL
Megan: that would work, totally
Anneka: roger, by coincidence, spies a GID convoy driving past
Anneka: roger leaps for a car, scrambles in, slams the door
Anneka: hani's like "WUT"
Anneka: roger's like "I'M BEING STALKED BY A HORNY ENGLISHMAN O.O"
Anneka: hani's like "...MAY I WATCH, MY DEAR?"
Anneka: eames, being eames, suddenly hops in from the other side of the car
Anneka: roger tries to hide behind hani, but hani just wants to sit back and see what happens
Megan: LOL
Megan: Eames would so know Hani
Anneka: well no
Anneka: he wouldn't KNOW him
Anneka: he'd be like *squint* HAVEN'T I FUCKED YOU BEFORE?
Anneka: and hani would be like "...I BELIEVE I WAS THE ONE DOING THE FUCKING."
Anneka: by now roger's just rocking back and forth weeping
Megan: LOL POOR LUCKY ROGER
Anneka: but no see here's the thing
Anneka: NO FUCKING WOULD OCCUR
Anneka: because drunk eames and entertained hani would just TALK FOR FOREVER
Anneka: ABOUT TOTALLY RANDOM SHIT
---
Barely related, but for my Kingdom Hearts peeps, along with those who like to laugh aka everybody, just wanted to give due credit. I borrowed "I'M STRAIGHT! I WILL NEVER HAVE SEX WITH YOU!" from "Late Night at the Grocery Store" by audio drama geniuses OrgLIX. I never miss a chance to pimp them, so I'm using this flimsy excuse to embed it here. Seriously, check it out. They're hilarious.
Click to view"Don't you know who I am? I'm Ansem the Wise, bitch!" --DiZ
"Soul-crushing scientist who treats me as a slave, or crazed dirty old man who treats me like a sex object. Wow. Damned if I do and fucked if I don't-- literally." --Repliku, on Vexen and DiZ
"Peanut butter, doggy treats, condoms, and a nubile boy!"
"When did you get a dog?"
"His name is Pluto, and he does wonderful things with peanut butter!" --Diz, Repliku, DiZ