Comfort
Comfort
It's one of those nights when you can't tell what the weather wants to be. The wind is chilly when it passes by, sending shivers up your body. But when it dies, the warmth arrives, unexpectedly making beads of sweat appear on your skin. It's a little difficult to decide on how to sleep in this kind of atmosphere.
Wonwoo has been tossing and turning on his bed for a while now. He's been trying to sleep for the past two hours but the weather is bothering him. His bedroom window is open to let the cool breeze in. However, when he chooses to wrap himself in a blanket, the coolness would disappear and he'd be too hot in his cocoon.
For the nth time, he kicks off the sheets and sprawls on his back. He lets out heavy sigh, staring outside the window, at the black inky sky. There's no star in sight, but maybe it's just in his perspective.
He stares and stares, knowing that eventually, his mind will give up and let him catch some Z's. Moments like this are rare for him after all, especially with the career path he chose.
Wonwoo didn't think that he and his fellow members would reach this point wherein people constantly talk about their group, their members, their achievements. It had felt like it would take such a long time to be able to have an ounce of their sunbaes' popularity. Training had been hard; preparation for their debut even more.
But it had all been worth it. They might be a few less members than when they started. However, it was okay. They were all reaching for their dreams in their own ways.
A partially dark cloud passes over his face as he frowns a little. After the scandal that his past self had caused, his sickness had seemed to come at the most appropriate time. He absentmindedly rubs a hand over his stomach, which is thankfully calm for the moment. It's as if his body said that he should take a break from everything, even the difficult life of an idol.
However, that meant not being part of the group's current promotion. Wonwoo sighs again, closing his eyes and throwing an arm over it. He was able to take part in the creation of the music, MV and album, but it was just different not being able to perform with the others. There would always be a grain of envy (he knows it's that emotion) when he sees the entire group enjoying onstage without him. He knows that even with his sickness, he can do the dance (despite his reputation for being a "dance machine") and rap his part, just like how he did it in their previous promotions.
It's just that... the company's decision was final. Wonwoo had to rest for the meantime. Especially if he wanted to take part in their upcoming schedules. The promotion can be done without him. And it was going well, from what he can see and hear. It's a little regretful that he can't be there.
A thought flashes in his head. Are the others still awake at this hour? Are they preparing for the concert and tour? Are they at each other's throats due to the stress and pressure? He surely hopes not but it's not an implausible situation.
Another thought occurs to him and he bites down on his lip. Is... he doing okay? Is he eating and sleeping well? Wonwoo hopes the younger guy isn't overdoing it. The other boy often gets too excited and loses track of his own health.
A sound breaks through his reverie, coming from his bedside table. He removes his arm to get his phone, recognizing the tone for an incoming call. He peers at the screen, waiting for the blurriness from having the weight of his arm over his eyes for too long to disappear. The flashing light hurts his eyes a little. Then he blinks even more when he reads the name. Is this some psychic stuff?
He answers it, bringing the device to his ear. He doesn't have to say anything to have the other end bursting with sound.
"Hyung!"
The voice is loud and annoying, given that it's the dead of the night. But Wonwoo feels a smile tugging on his lips as the voice is a welcomed distraction.
"Hyung, are you there?" The voice sounds perplexed and a little worried. "Did you fall asleep right away after picking up my call?"
Still so energetic at 3 AM. "Am here," he murmurs.
The other catches it anyway. "Oh, good. I thought you accidentally answered my call and I have to wonder the entire time if you're there."
That wouldn't be too far from a possible reality but he doesn't say it. "What's up? You do know what time it is, right?"
"It's," there's a pause and the other must be checking the time. "Oh, wow. Really? Didn't think it was that late already."
Of course. Losing track of time often happens to them when they're continuously working and improving their tracks. "You the only one who's still up?"
He hears a sound from the other end. "Nope. Coups hyung, Vernon and Woozi hyung still here."
The hip hop team (without him) and their producer. Wonwoo feels a little twinge at that, wishing that he could be with them right now. He pushes the feeling away and tries to focus on the other. "Working hard, eh? How have things been?"
The younger guy seemed to have taken this as some sort of permission, as he launches into a tirade of complaints, anecdotes and bad jokes. Wonwoo listens well, like the good hyung that he is, because despite the other's apparent irritating late-night talkativeness, he missed this. He missed hearing the other rant and rave about their everyday life, even though he probably went through the same thing. He missed seeing what was happening to the other guy with his own eyes, watching over him like he always does. He missed hearing the other's laughter, grumbles, and all the sounds the other can make, which were quite a lot. He missed dealing with the necessities and hazards of their career with the younger by his side.
Hearing the other talk about the things he's missing out on plants an ache of sorts in his chest. Envy, anxiety, annoyance, sadness... He can't tell what it is. He tries to ignore it, but it was nagging him a little.
When the other end falls silent, he realizes that the younger guy is done. He can hear him catching his breath, making Wonwoo chuckle a little. "I'm sure if you talk to Coups hyung, things'll be fine." He says, knowing their leader can resolve anything that arises between the members.
"I just feel like a tattletale if I tell him that," the other whines, and Wonwoo almost points out that he is a tattletale for telling him about it. But he doesn't because the other would grumble endlessly about Wonwoo not taking his side.
He hears another voice from the line, and the younger guy answers back. "Ah, the others says hi. And hope you're taking your break really well."
The snide comment must have been from their producer, and it makes Wonwoo chuckle. "I am, actually. I'm enjoying every ounce of it."
There's another voice piping up, and it makes the younger guy on the other end laugh. "You should be careful when you come back."
I wonder when that is, Wonwoo thinks but joins the laughter he can hear from the line. "Should I not go back then?"
"Hyung!"
"I was kidding, geez." Silence falls on the other end. Wonwoo wonders what the younger did. Then the sound of a door being shut emits from the speaker. "You still there?"
"Yeah," the voice sounds a little forlorn. "You're not really thinking about not going back, are you?"
Somehow, just this question sends Wonwoo's heart fluttering and his stomach twists inside his body. There was a tone to the younger's voice, one that Wonwoo wanted to erase and never hear from the other again. The joke might have been a little harsh, but it was just that. A simple joke and nothing more. "Of course not, idiot. I didn't train for years just to leave like that." He chides. But really, there's more reason to stay than that. He hears a relieved sigh and chuckles.
"Okay, that's good. For a moment, I was worried there."
Wonwoo bites down on his lower lip to keep himself from smiling, although the other can't even see. It just feels ridiculous to be grinning at that. He glances at the clock and notes the time. He didn't want the call to end. Not now. Not ever. But the other's surely working and he didn't want to be in the way. "I have to go. Gotta get some sleep."
"Oh right, you have to rest." There's another pause. "I can call tomorrow, right?"
The hesitation surprises Wonwoo a little. The younger never bothers to know something like that. He always assumes that everything he does to Wonwoo is okay. Well, Wonwoo isn't really complaining. "Why are you even asking? You'd call anyway."
A bark of laughter resounds and the smile just can't be held back anymore as Wonwoo imagines the other's face as he laughs. "I'll call then. Ah, Hyung?"
Wonwoo would be looking forward to that. "Hmm?"
"Happy birthday."
Ah. He glances again at the digital clock on his bedside table, and sees the date flashing. Now, why didn't he remember that? "Thanks... Mingyu."
The other bids him a good night before he hangs up. Wonwoo lets his hand holding his phone rest on his chest, the device warm against his shirt. He feels the fluttering in his chest again. The ache previously occupying it is gone. He had to wonder if it was because of the younger guy. He feels elated, and a little incredulous. But it still feels nice to hear from the younger boy.
The phone vibrates in his grip, signalling a message. He quickly opens it, sees the name of the sender, and reads it. He feels heat flushing up his cheeks and he has to take deep breaths to calm himself.
'I miss you. Come back soon, okay?'
Damn that guy.
Wonwoo rolls over onto his stomach, shutting his eyes with a smile still on his face.
It's one of those nights wherein when you switch on the fan, the wind is too cold, but when you switch it off, it's just too hot. It's one of those nights that sleep will not come easily because the weather just doesn't allow it. Wonwoo still doesn't know whether to sleep with the blanket on or off. But he finds the comfort somehow.
He misses performing, misses the cheers, misses the others. It's a little strange to be resting well when the others are working their asses off. But he knows he'll be back in no time, healthy and ready. After all, there's a certain guy named Kim Mingyu who misses and waits for him.
End.