(no subject)
im not going to lie. shit is still the same. it hurts everyday. i always have this pian in my stomic that i dont think will ever go away. i dont hurt as much as i once did, but i can still feel it. michael helps alittle, but i cant talk to him about it, not like i want to. i need to talk to some one, someone that will lisstin and understand. i know sabina is always there for me and i have already talked to her about it, and she did help me. maybe its just that the people closest to me dont understand how i feel. i want so bad to tell some one about all the things i've been through and what evil i have seen, but i just cant bring myself to do it. so many times i've thought of things to do to take my mind off of all these things, but i dont do anything that would be noticable. now i just smoke. for the past month i've smoked a pack a day. i never thought i would ever be smoking this much but now i am. im not saying that my life sucks cuz it doesnt, a lot of people have it worse then me. im just not as happy as i should be. im a good looking young girl, so why cant i find someone to make me happy and not cheat on me? i dont know if im asking for to much here but ......i dont know, nevermind. maybe later....