I did it
I finally did it and took the big step Sunday night and went forward to make my life right with God.I had been thinking of Anthony my brother that died of suicide and I had put off and off thinking about how fast and quick death can come.I began remembering my family and how it was and it made me think.
Nows the hardest part.Living it.I know its going to be hard,but I know too that God is with me now.Because my heart is better and trying to mend.I cant go back and erase the past and all the mistakes I have made,but I just have to take one day at a time.I may fall again,who knows,but being able to pray to my God with that thought alone I know he can give me stregnth alone.Tim had talked to me Saturday night which helped alot.
I went to work yesterday,and I came home last night and told Tim I was happy,I did good and I never even sped on the way.With God,if our heart is right in obediance to him,he will see us through I know.I hate that I wasnt the right kind of example to my kids and everyone around me.But that alone can say that we are only human and we make mistakes and noone is perfect,we just have to strive to be and use Jesus as our example.I got scared thinking about death and how I know it is fact that it will happen to all of us,but now so far Im nat "as scared" thanks be to God.One day at a time is all I can do,Lord willing?
After church Casey hugged me and we cried,he said he was proud of me for taking that step.Tim took me to Mr Ghettis out to eat for my Birthday,I turned 40.
Cindy started at Kayes last night doing dishes.I think her feet hurt her and its not a barrell of apples,but shes finding out that I think.But once she gets her first check it may make her think about it better and encourage her to keep on working.Casey went to Ky Kindgom yesterday with Brenton and his family.He had fun.they took a couple of old time pictures which was cute.
Im off work today,theyre dong another parking lot.
Nows the hardest part.Living it.I know its going to be hard,but I know too that God is with me now.Because my heart is better and trying to mend.I cant go back and erase the past and all the mistakes I have made,but I just have to take one day at a time.I may fall again,who knows,but being able to pray to my God with that thought alone I know he can give me stregnth alone.Tim had talked to me Saturday night which helped alot.
I went to work yesterday,and I came home last night and told Tim I was happy,I did good and I never even sped on the way.With God,if our heart is right in obediance to him,he will see us through I know.I hate that I wasnt the right kind of example to my kids and everyone around me.But that alone can say that we are only human and we make mistakes and noone is perfect,we just have to strive to be and use Jesus as our example.I got scared thinking about death and how I know it is fact that it will happen to all of us,but now so far Im nat "as scared" thanks be to God.One day at a time is all I can do,Lord willing?
After church Casey hugged me and we cried,he said he was proud of me for taking that step.Tim took me to Mr Ghettis out to eat for my Birthday,I turned 40.
Cindy started at Kayes last night doing dishes.I think her feet hurt her and its not a barrell of apples,but shes finding out that I think.But once she gets her first check it may make her think about it better and encourage her to keep on working.Casey went to Ky Kindgom yesterday with Brenton and his family.He had fun.they took a couple of old time pictures which was cute.
Im off work today,theyre dong another parking lot.