Advent Challenge

[anne35]

Title: The Meeting
Rating/Warnings: This is very tame, just a little bit of the angst, of course.
Beta: loracj2 Who took time away from her own writing to help me. Her challenge was due today as well. *waves*
Disclaimers: I own nothing in relation to the O.C. Also, I know nothing about how the social service system works. I made everything up so that it

Comments

[beachtree]

I need to start with replying to this, since it's been lost in my in box for far too long... My apologies!

We obviously share many similar opinions and so many spawn from the original premise being lost, abandoned, DAWNED so early in many ways. Social Serives and Ryan's probation officer were both non-existent and neither were even invisible, referenced presences other than the one Ryan and Sandy post-soccer practice scene and Ryan's reminder to "M" at Chrismukkah with her thoughtful open container. He mentioned his probation then and Sandy and Kirsten miraculously remembered it after Theresa entered the picture so manipulatively with her convenient abuse. I'm not saying that didn't happen, but I will always maintain she had an agenda when she came to Newport and that included playing on Ryan's sense of duty, obligation, loyalty and generous, sacrificiing nature to improve her own situation any way she could. IMHO, she was either pregnant already, or made sure that the chances were good she would be. I digress. That storyline was handled atrociously from the outset and was such a cliche. It only worsened with time.

As you note, it would have been far more organic, plausible and impactful for the entire evolving family if the plot were more realistic. If the Oliver Twisted SL had to be used (which struck me as a contrivance to involve "M" as with Treywreck in S3) when there were much better, family-oriented ways to explore trust and what no one had the courage to address yet, then Social Services would certainly have been involved. At the very least, we would have seen unplanned visits interspersed with scheduled meetings and there was cause in both S1 and S2 for Ryan to be removed from the home- certainly by the end of S2. THAT should have been a very real concern that no one bothered to even mention. Huge missed opportunity. Stopping- really!

Ryan is certainly not comfortable around Kirsten and he, being the outsider on the fringe and the kid and the observer, is certainly taking his cues from her. She has failed pretty consistently. I'm reminded of how she literally dodged him and seemed to recoil from anything approaching shared space at the very beginning in the first two-three episodes. I always thought her hug in "The Debut" was a little much and it was awkward to watch. It was obviously not genuine and Ryan had no idea what to do. She kept her distance, physically and emotionally, for so long. The hug during TTTB actually shocked me. I couldn't believe she had intiated contact. The one in "The Distance" was so special because of his expression. That's what sold it for me and it was one of complete shock and unexpected joy. Although we then saw the peck on the cheek, the awkward dance resumed rather quickly. She never defended him enough to Caleb- again with too little too late. Ryan is painfully polite around her and obviously tries to read her while treading carefully. Her little zinger at the intervention undid any real connection they might have been building, even if he forgives her- which he will. He can't forget it and she preyed on his deepest insecurity like an Atwood pro. After nearly two years, she played her "Kirsten" card and he knows she could do it again. It hurts to watch and her inability to address her behavior and her drinking with him in S3, combined with her forcing his hand when it came to Dawn (which I think was more about mollifying her own conscience than about him- both times could have been disasters for him, but she needed to feel better... selfish) and only really talking to him about "M" and how he should treat her or about girls and nothing about turning 18 and his status with them or his accomplishments in relation to graduation... Stopping again!

I do recall the "home" reference from "The Debut" as well. It struck me as premature then too, especially since he would say "the house" so much after that. It's always difficult to determine how much is lazy writing with the inconsistencies and how much intentional...

[anne35]

I can not tell you how happy I am to have found someone who shares my view of Theresa. Although I am not a Ryrissa shipper I honestly prefer M to her. Her very introduction in "The Homecoming" I thought was ridiculous. Ryan had already mentioned he had never had a girlfriend and there she was all bitchy and possessive of him. If she meant so much why was there no mention of trying to stay at her place that fateful first weekend? Why in four months did he not once pick up the phone and tell here he was still alive? Plus, I never liked the Snoopy story. Yes, it's cute and all that. But come on! There was no dancing & singing in Ryan's Chino life. We all know that.
Honestly, I think my hatred of her started when she showed up in the Valentine's Day episode. I think what got me was the fact the last time she saw Ryan he was happy with Marissa. For all she knew he was still in a happy stable relationship. But she still came to Newport to dig her claws in him. Does that not scream of the actions of a manipulative whore? I completely agree with you she only came to Newport to use Ryan to better her own lot in life. Okay enough of that.
My only hope is that in S4 we actually get to see some Ryan/Kirsten bonding. I desperately want to believe that she does love him, but I honestly haven't seen it yet. I can't tell you badly I was annoyed by Kirsten constantly trying to push Dawn into his life this past season. She was only doing it because she wanted to ease her conscious and give another alcoholic mother the benefit of the doubt. I think she was more concerned about Dawn than she ever was of what it could potentially do to Ryan.
Enough ranting for now. Thanks again for all of your thoughts.

[beachtree]

Sorry, RL has been intense and having the cold from hell hasn't helped. Once the head weighs over a hundred pounds, reading, typing and thinking don't seem to happen!

Believe me, I was NO Theresa fan from the outset. Maybe she was a friend with benefits, but it was obvious there was nothing exclusive since she was at least with Eddie and maybe others. Even the friendship part is questionable judging by her behavior. She wasn't relieved and happy to see him. There was no indication that she tried to find him or what happened to him when she had to know that Dawn left. Her brother was in touch with Trey and Trey was in touch with Ryan. If she really was Ryan's friend, she would have been trying to confirm that he was okay and there was no evidence of that. It's not like he disappeared before and his mother left an empty house behind. We still don't know if he tried to call her that day, but if she was his closest friend, he must have tried. If she rejected him, that would explain why he didn't contact her from Newport for more than two months- not that he actually had free time since he was so focused on just breathing in an acceptable manner so he wouldn't rock the boat.

As much as I liked seeing a more relaxed Ryan and getting even a glimpse of backstory around Valentine's Day, Theresa was manipulative from the outset and IMHO she had an agenda that included using Ryan at whatever cost to him. She knew what buttons to push. The whole Daniel issue is so twisted now that I'm not sure what is second-guessing and what's intended, but her behavior leads me to believe she knew she was pregnant when she slept with Ryan or at least thought she was and took all measures- or didn't in terms of protection even if she might have told him oherwise- to insure she would be (or could be). She was only thinking short term and needed to trap him and coral him by appealing to his sense of responsbility and obligation to her. Once a manipulator, always one- and we've seen it since with the lying and deceit. She can justify it anyway she wants, but it doesn't change it. Grrrrrrrrrrrr...

I never liked the way they tried to work in the Snoopy story as both binding Ryan to Theresa and making it seem like that was normal and carefree for him. What they should have focused on was how she probably manipulated him into that and he did it both to please her, to shut her up- like he does with so many things with Seth for example- and simply to escape the horror that was Dawn's HoT. Anytime not spent at home or on the streets was time in a safe haven.

Ah, Kirsten. She goes from openly despising and rejecting him without even considering the facts from any reliable source, to supposedly welcoming him to the family. However, there was no unconditional love or even like. There were criteria from the very outset with Ryan complying to their demands for no fighting and the unspoken command that he submerge himself as seamlessly as possible. They threw him in the deep end without giving him the tools to cope or navigate the completely alien environment and no guide as to the boundaries or rules. He may be very intelligent, perceptive, eager to please and flexible, but he was put in a very difficult position and left to fend for himself while also taking care of Seth and anyone else who seemed to fall under his wing. All the expectations were on him and there was no clear communication.
TBC

[beachtree]

Kirsten physically and emotionally avoided him so obviously that it was almost painful to watch and gauge the distance. She let adults berate and insult Ryan within his ear range, including her own father. It seemed she appreciated what Ryan did for Seth and for Sandy and for her family, but she couldn't be invested in him. She seemed intimidated by him and that hasn't changed. As much as her actual contact and HUG at the end of S1 and her shocking breakdown indicated progress, it was too little too late. She wasn't involved in his life and didn't take an active role from what we know that summer. Even though she welcomed him back, again that hug surprised Ryan to no end- and it surprised me as well. After that, she might have finally stood her ground with Caleb, but not too forcefully and over a year too late. Still, she resumed her detached, disinterested behavior with him and then cut him to the quick at the intervention.

Since then, there has been no apology and the whole Julie friendship is just a travesty. Then, rather than addressing her own shortcomings and actions, she forces Dawn on Ryan first behind his back and then more openly. Kirsten had directly and indirectly hurt and polarized Ryan and then pushed him towards the other maternal figure who had done the same- only in more extreme ways. That had to do wonders for Ryan. She was trying to soothe her conscience through Dawn and redeem her instead of doing the work herself. Both times, she put Ryan at tremendous emotional risk and even in physical peril- but it made her feel better and she didn't have to confront her own feelings. Nice.

Like you, I hope we finally get her finding the courage to admit how she's failed him. To talk about how she rejected him at first and shut him out for so long as she wavered about what he means to her. Does she love him or the idea of him? Does she want and value him or does she want what he brings to her family and value that contribution? How has she felt about him almost being killed more than once while under her care and did almost losing him even register?

Getting to the fic- soon!