blah, blah, blah
weight: 120.8
bmi: 20.18
%IBW: 88.8
Dr.Staples called me yesterday and today. She asked me what I had eaten and what I had to drink for the day. She said she wrote an order for a BMP so I had to go up to the clinic and get my labs done. She told me I'm at risk for sudden death and she might want me on the cardiac ward. I told her that I have been drinking gatorade everyday so hopefully my labs will be okay and my vitals won't be so god damn orthostatic and she won't send me to the hospital via ambulance again. She and Judy(therapist) want me inpatient but I won't until I'm at least less than 85% of ideal body weight. I'm too fat to enter treatment right now. I will not enter treatment classifed as bulimic or EDNOS. I've never been in treatment without the diagnosis of purging anorexic. This scares the living hell out of me. I don't want to gain weight which even at this weight I would have to gain about five pounds. I've been to Renfrew twice, UNC twice and I'm still not "cured" so what makes them think this will work. The first time I was at Renfrew I threw away the bagged lunch they gave me to take on the plane. The second time I restricted at breakfast(I was on fix-owns) and tried to hide the cheese and soybacon on my BLT, didn't eat dinner, drank a shit load of caffeine for diuretics, stole laxatives at the airport and the chaos in my head subsided.
bmi: 20.18
%IBW: 88.8
Dr.Staples called me yesterday and today. She asked me what I had eaten and what I had to drink for the day. She said she wrote an order for a BMP so I had to go up to the clinic and get my labs done. She told me I'm at risk for sudden death and she might want me on the cardiac ward. I told her that I have been drinking gatorade everyday so hopefully my labs will be okay and my vitals won't be so god damn orthostatic and she won't send me to the hospital via ambulance again. She and Judy(therapist) want me inpatient but I won't until I'm at least less than 85% of ideal body weight. I'm too fat to enter treatment right now. I will not enter treatment classifed as bulimic or EDNOS. I've never been in treatment without the diagnosis of purging anorexic. This scares the living hell out of me. I don't want to gain weight which even at this weight I would have to gain about five pounds. I've been to Renfrew twice, UNC twice and I'm still not "cured" so what makes them think this will work. The first time I was at Renfrew I threw away the bagged lunch they gave me to take on the plane. The second time I restricted at breakfast(I was on fix-owns) and tried to hide the cheese and soybacon on my BLT, didn't eat dinner, drank a shit load of caffeine for diuretics, stole laxatives at the airport and the chaos in my head subsided.