About the Mark Watches Meltdown...

[annapurna_2]

I didn't join the Buffy fandom online until after the show ended, so I missed those infamous fandom wars. Not at all sorry about that.

I only recently started reading Mark Watches (off and on as I could) and enjoyed it. It was fun re-experiencing the show for the "first" time vicariously through Mark and those commenting. I usually didn't have

Comments

[rebcake]

I'm really bummed out about the whole thing. :-/

I'm sorry it's affected you that way. Lousy interwebs, ruining people's moods. I can't say that I'm happy about people being abused and ganged up on, but I found it surprisingly easy to detach myself from it, emotionally. I've had a lot of experience with tantrums, I guess. ;-)

I get why this episode is such a game changer, now. I had always thought that it was "Seeing Red" that broke things, but people have such different interpretations of Buffy, the character, that I really don't see how the "she's really just a girl" and the "she's really The Slayer" camps can ever reconciled. Educational, really. But, bottom line, it's kind of cool that people continue to care so much about this show.

Anyway, I'd like to offer copious hugs {{{♥}}}, and anything else I can to make you feel better. Tequila shots?

[annapurna_2]

I'm sorry it's affected you that way. Lousy interwebs, ruining people's moods.

You're so sweet. :-)

But I remind myself that it's really a very small thing compared to what really counts, like that terrible tragedy in Colorado.

I can't say that I'm happy about people being abused and ganged up on,

That's what bothers me. Not that they don't like Spike or Spuffy or that they interpret things differently. It's how they responded...or didn't respond. There was one post I found especially affecting, someone who was brave enough to reveal a horrific childhood (but not in a pity-me way) and then proceed to explain why the character of Spike meant so much to her, and no one (at least at that time) bothered to acknowledge her or show compassion. Just the sound of crickets.

I'm tempted to sign up long enough to at least thank her for putting herself out there that way.

I've had a lot of experience with tantrums, I guess. ;-)

I guess there's an upside to everything! ;-)
I get why this episode is such a game changer, now. I had always

[ms_scarletibis]

I'm tempted to sign up long enough to at least thank her for putting herself out there that way.

If you're talking about Spikesjojo (and I think you are), she was sadly banned too after that ep review. I'm guessing you saw Mark's comments to her about being the worst commenter in Mark Watches history, or something along those lines (and I never understood why that was, exactly, except that he and his flunkies might very well be a gang on PCP ;).

[spikesjojo]

Banned, burned, beaten and abused - but I wrote him a letter and pointed out that he was a classic abuser - blaming his victims for forcing him to abuse them. Maybe I planted a seed. Mostly I feel sorry for someone who can't seem to grow up past the point of identifying himself as a victim and feeling that entitles him to victimize, while excusing it as being triggered.

It took me a couple of days, actually, to figure out why I wasn't able to drop it, even though I was willing. I too was an abuse victim, but I took responsibility when I was an adult, got counseling when I needed it, and medication as well. And then I devoted years to helping any kids in my life who needed it - because it made me feel good. The best revenge is living well. So why was this pissant still bugging me?

I finally realized I had something to say. I said it. I let go. Maybe I planted a seed that will someday grow into self awareness.

[annapurna_2]

Mostly I feel sorry for someone who can't seem to grow up past the point of identifying himself as a victim and feeling that entitles him to victimize, while excusing it as being triggered.

That's a good point. We can't always help what's done to us and it's not as simple as saying, "Okay, I'm over this now." As apparently you well know.

But I hope he eventually reaches a place where he no longer uses that to define his whole identity. If that makes sense?

I have a very dear friend who had a very awful thing happen to her and she went through some dark times. But in the end, she came out a better and stronger person for it and refuses to let it rule her life.

I'd like to think I'd be strong enough to do the same in her place, but I'm not at all sure.

I finally realized I had something to say. I said it. I let go. Maybe I planted a seed that will someday grow into self awareness.That's good that you were able to do that. ::hugs

[spikesjojo]

No one is ever sure - but those of us who are self aware can usually know and make it through. Not sure if I am saying that right.

It's so tempting to play the role of victim and so addicting to live in a world of self righteous anger, toting a bag full of grudges. I did that, but the bag got to heavy and I recognized my addiction - and I managed to let go and move on.

{{hug}} You know, you're pretty lovable!

[annapurna_2]

Spikesjojo is one of those. There is also another, but I'm not sure how she would feel about being mentioned outside of the community where she posted, so I won't name her.

I'm guessing you saw Mark's comments to her about being the worst commenter in Mark Watches history, or something along those lines

Oh, dear. I missed that comment, though I did see her apologize about something and there was a very pointed lack of acknowledgment on his part (unless he responded at a later date). He did say once that he reads all comments, so I would have to assume he saw it.

(and I never understood why that was, exactly, except that he and his flunkies might very well be a gang on PCP ;).

Well, that's one explanation. Heh.

I confess I'm at a loss as to why they overreacted so strongly. Because that seemed to have started even before everything blew up. As far as I could tell, they pretty much triggered the whole thing by putting the opposing camp (so to speak) on the defensive.