to wherever, from here (for candy, nikki, ekai, george, lance, rom, bryan)
C says she's planning to get married soon. I don't know why but the news makes me happy. Finally, some semblance of stability. It's been long enough, stumbling through adulthood, grabbing chances at happiness. I hate weddings but this one should be an exception.
I've always felt weird talking with people from way back, with how everything has changed, lives gone smoothly and astray in different directions. Ten years back, we thought we were ready for life and its permutations, George captured our pictures in black and white, an emblem of the past as if to say there was nothing but the great future ahead of us. Now, we still stumble through different, yet parallel stories of gains, loves and losses.
Sometimes it was too much too handle, and we were young - the falling apart of selves, departures, arrivals, pregnancies, corporate jungles, ruined relationships. Years back under narra trees, we waited for our lives to unfold, bored, restless. We were in love with ourselves, we could only wait for that love to unravel.
There was a conversation with Nikki years back. We were afraid of being ordinary, of our lives meaning nothing. It was college, the time when dreams didn't fail us yet. But too many things have happened, these days, I just want to be ordinary, find myself again. The person who flickered a flashlight on George's tent roof, who sang along during a Side A concert in the parking lot under a drizzle. Rebuild our heroes, rebuild us, forget the betrayals, the faces of those who have managed to hurt us, forget the cynicism, go back to when days were possible without five cups of coffee. And most of all, to forgive ourselves for the hope that didn't see us through, because we were young then, and we still are young and life can still be inexplicably wonderful.
I've always felt weird talking with people from way back, with how everything has changed, lives gone smoothly and astray in different directions. Ten years back, we thought we were ready for life and its permutations, George captured our pictures in black and white, an emblem of the past as if to say there was nothing but the great future ahead of us. Now, we still stumble through different, yet parallel stories of gains, loves and losses.
Sometimes it was too much too handle, and we were young - the falling apart of selves, departures, arrivals, pregnancies, corporate jungles, ruined relationships. Years back under narra trees, we waited for our lives to unfold, bored, restless. We were in love with ourselves, we could only wait for that love to unravel.
There was a conversation with Nikki years back. We were afraid of being ordinary, of our lives meaning nothing. It was college, the time when dreams didn't fail us yet. But too many things have happened, these days, I just want to be ordinary, find myself again. The person who flickered a flashlight on George's tent roof, who sang along during a Side A concert in the parking lot under a drizzle. Rebuild our heroes, rebuild us, forget the betrayals, the faces of those who have managed to hurt us, forget the cynicism, go back to when days were possible without five cups of coffee. And most of all, to forgive ourselves for the hope that didn't see us through, because we were young then, and we still are young and life can still be inexplicably wonderful.