(no subject)
I'm so stressed still. I hate life. I hate the way things are going. Last night my dad and mom got into a fight because of me and he grabbed her and bruised her arm up and I know that would have been me if I had been there. She called me and was all cocky to me and said "This friday I have a shot and you and me are going, alone" and it pissed me off. She knows I don't do anything without Jason, and I'm never without him. She just wants to get us apart. He can't stand that, therefore he said that he won't let me go with her on Friday. All she wants is an hour or two she said, but I don't want that hour without him. She's been letting me be with him 24/7 for the past year. How can she just step up and try to screw up my routine? I feel so alone. I'm in class right now and I'm having a hard time not crying. My pride is gone, my ambition, I feel like everything is just being yanked away from me. I hate my dad. Jason might be sending someone from Texas to kill him. I don't know. He said he made a few phone calls last night after I left and that they arrived here this morning at 4:30 a.m. I'm so confused and lost. I hate being an only child right now. He said if I don't stay there when I go to college, he's taking my car. How am I supposed to do anything positive with my life when I constantly have something dangling over my head? I can't do this anymore. I just wanna die. I wish I could just kill myself for good this time and I haven't felt that way in a very long time. Since I was probably 13 years old. I just feel trapped, like there's no where for me to go anyways. And since I'm not 18, I'm stuck there. Where I don't wanna be, where there's no support or help or love, and where I feel the world is coming down on me and it's all on my shoulders.
Meet my Maker
This is where I'll meet my maker tonight
So this is it
This is my life
This is my time
It's ending tonight
I made my mistakes
I tried to live right
Stepped out of the darkness into the light
And when I'm gone
Will they remember
Will they mourn
Will they move on
When my sad songs for lonely son
His time has come his life is done
And tonight
We'll celebrate the end
Of this life
And we'll sing
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Whhooaa aaooohh
It's alright
this is a night like we've began
With open arms
This is the way
The way I'll meet my maker tonight
And on my grave
What will it say?
Here lies another soul that was saved
So please don't cry
Just sleep at night
And I will wait on the other side
And tonight
we'll celebrate the end
Of this life
And we'll sing
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Whooaahh ooohhh
It's alright
This is a night like we've began
With open arms
This is the way
The way I'll meet my maker tonight
And tonight
We'll celebrate the end
Of this life
And we'll sing
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Whooaaa ooohh
It's alright
This is a night like we've began
With open arms
This is the way
The way I'll meet my maker tonight
S.O.S.
Is anybody listening?
Can they hear me when I call?
I'm shooting signals in the air
'Cause I need somebody's help
I can't make it on my own
So I'm giving up myself
Is anybody listening?
Listening
I've been stranded here and I'm miles away
Making signals hoping they'd save me
I lock myself inside these walls
'Cause out there I'm always wrong
I don't think I'm gonna make it
So while I'm sitting here
On the eve of my defeat
I'll write this letter and hope it saves me
Is anybody listening?
Can they hear me when I call?
Shooting signals in the air
'Cause I need somebody's help
I can't make it on my own
So I'm giving up myself
Is anybody listening?
Listening
I'm stuck in my own head and I'm oceans away
Would anybody notice if I chose to stay?
I'll send an SOS tonight
Wonder if I will survive
How in the hell did I get so far away this time
So now I'm sitting here
The time of my departure's near
I say a prayer
Please someone save me
Is anybody listening?
Can they hear me when I call?
Shooting signals in the air
'Cause I need somebody's help
I can't make it on my own
So I'm giving up myself
Is anybody listening?
Listening
I'm lost here
I can't make it on my own
I don't wanna die alone
I'm so scared
Drowning now
Reaching out
Holding on to everything I know
Crying out
Dying now
Need some help
Is anybody listening?
Can you hear me when I call?
Shooting signals in the air
I need somebody's help
I can't make it on my own
So I'm giving up myself
Is anybody listening?
Meet my Maker
This is where I'll meet my maker tonight
So this is it
This is my life
This is my time
It's ending tonight
I made my mistakes
I tried to live right
Stepped out of the darkness into the light
And when I'm gone
Will they remember
Will they mourn
Will they move on
When my sad songs for lonely son
His time has come his life is done
And tonight
We'll celebrate the end
Of this life
And we'll sing
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Whhooaa aaooohh
It's alright
this is a night like we've began
With open arms
This is the way
The way I'll meet my maker tonight
And on my grave
What will it say?
Here lies another soul that was saved
So please don't cry
Just sleep at night
And I will wait on the other side
And tonight
we'll celebrate the end
Of this life
And we'll sing
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Whooaahh ooohhh
It's alright
This is a night like we've began
With open arms
This is the way
The way I'll meet my maker tonight
And tonight
We'll celebrate the end
Of this life
And we'll sing
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Whooaaa ooohh
It's alright
This is a night like we've began
With open arms
This is the way
The way I'll meet my maker tonight
S.O.S.
Is anybody listening?
Can they hear me when I call?
I'm shooting signals in the air
'Cause I need somebody's help
I can't make it on my own
So I'm giving up myself
Is anybody listening?
Listening
I've been stranded here and I'm miles away
Making signals hoping they'd save me
I lock myself inside these walls
'Cause out there I'm always wrong
I don't think I'm gonna make it
So while I'm sitting here
On the eve of my defeat
I'll write this letter and hope it saves me
Is anybody listening?
Can they hear me when I call?
Shooting signals in the air
'Cause I need somebody's help
I can't make it on my own
So I'm giving up myself
Is anybody listening?
Listening
I'm stuck in my own head and I'm oceans away
Would anybody notice if I chose to stay?
I'll send an SOS tonight
Wonder if I will survive
How in the hell did I get so far away this time
So now I'm sitting here
The time of my departure's near
I say a prayer
Please someone save me
Is anybody listening?
Can they hear me when I call?
Shooting signals in the air
'Cause I need somebody's help
I can't make it on my own
So I'm giving up myself
Is anybody listening?
Listening
I'm lost here
I can't make it on my own
I don't wanna die alone
I'm so scared
Drowning now
Reaching out
Holding on to everything I know
Crying out
Dying now
Need some help
Is anybody listening?
Can you hear me when I call?
Shooting signals in the air
I need somebody's help
I can't make it on my own
So I'm giving up myself
Is anybody listening?