Successful day

[annamiawarrior]

Yesterday was a successful day.

A nutritious bar in the morning. 2 slices of toast. 3 grapes, 8 crackers, 1 pickle, a slice of cheese and a 2 tbsp's of hummus.
That was my whole day. I'm quite impressed. The toast was to visit with will's mom. The grapes were at work because they insisted. The rest was my supper.
I think I did quite well.
Then I

Comments

[annamiawarrior]

Well, when I am not so angry at my body I do try and do it a healthy way. I'm actually always doing that. i'm almost always exercising and drinking plenty of water. I take multivitamins and protein shakes as well as making sure the food I do eat is healthy. So I'm pretty good. that's why I think I'd classify myself more as EDnos instead of Anorexia or Bulima. But I relate more to Anorexics. although I'm of a normal or overweight body type (at least in my mind)
Oh and the pills.... well the ID-alG is to hinder my digestive enzymes so basically anything I eat goes right to poop :p
and stays in my stomach longer so I don't get hungry as quick.
The PhosphoLean ... well here http://www.cheminutra.com/phospholean/ it's basically an appetite suppressant.
The main thing that will can't understand (and by the sound of it you struggle with as well) and it's understandable that it'd be confusing, is the fact that it's not a diet to lose weight. It's similar to someone who cuts themselves it's a form of ... well punishment in a way. Like putting a little one in the corner when they are bad.
Your body has let you down and you have to remind yourself who's boss by taking control of things in an extreme way. But In the end I like to try and be as healthy about it as possible while maintaining my sanity.

[lesyoung]

But... you're "punishing" your body because it doesn't look the way you want it to. In punishing it, you are eventually going to achieve the look you want. Isn't that somehow part of it?

Yes, I do struggle with this. I apologize but knowing there is nothing I can say to change your mind on this is as frustrating to me as Will and I not understanding your perspective. I think it is simply something you have to experience to understand and honestly, this is something I never want to experience.

It's simply frightening to me. I've said my piece, and you know where I stand on this.

[annamiawarrior]

I know where you stand. I'm sorry I can't help you. This is why I never want/wanted to tell my friends because they would feel the same way you do.
I hope you're not too upset. I don't do it to make a point.
The best way Will understands it is that it's me reminding myself that I'm in control of my body.
For example: A dog is being extremely disobedient, you take away it's food for a day, this reminds the dog that you are LITERALLY the hand that feeds it.
It's kinda like that, only the dog is my body and I am more or less reminding me that I am in control of it.
That's one factor.
Yes there is a potential to achieve the body I want, but I guess that's sorta a pleasant side effect lol.
Anyway, the point is I hope you aren't mad. *hugs*