Daily Terror Report
There is a daily moment of terror. Daily.
I will sit here at my desk, wonder what day it is, if I am late for work, if I have to be at work, if I will get enough sleep, if I will wake up in time if I do fall asleep after realizing that I only have three or so hours until I have to be at work, if this will be the day the other shoe drops, if I'll miss the phone call I've been waiting for, if if if if fuck.
I'm tired beyond my body being able to rest and Iall I want to to not have to concern myself with the interminglings of other people's structured environs. I'm so tired, and all I need is the rest I can't hold on to.
It isn't even proper worry. It is guidelines that hold my position in place, that pay the rent, that cover the grocery bill, that keeps the light on.
Off.
I will sit here at my desk, wonder what day it is, if I am late for work, if I have to be at work, if I will get enough sleep, if I will wake up in time if I do fall asleep after realizing that I only have three or so hours until I have to be at work, if this will be the day the other shoe drops, if I'll miss the phone call I've been waiting for, if if if if fuck.
I'm tired beyond my body being able to rest and Iall I want to to not have to concern myself with the interminglings of other people's structured environs. I'm so tired, and all I need is the rest I can't hold on to.
It isn't even proper worry. It is guidelines that hold my position in place, that pay the rent, that cover the grocery bill, that keeps the light on.
Off.