Time
The human system has a number of internal rhythms it can follow. The human society has an even greater number of structures it can impose on you. I hate structure and rhythm and I hate control and I am happiest when I can do whatever I want when I want. It's so simple really. I like taking walks at midnight and sleeping in the afternoon and going swimming in the evening just because I feel like it. Sometimes I feel like i've been somewhere too long. I like to live month by month. I love doing something different all the time. I think it's hilarious that my job expects me to stay for even a year. I'm going to learn to be a barrista and move on. I like to explore the spectra of what I can do, try everything. Go everywhere.
I'm not sure how I got through the past month at all! As soon as papers were handed in it was exams and jobs ...all trying to own my time.
The other day a woman in her 70s or 80s was waiting for me to serve her her coffee and biscuit. She reflected that for the past ten years that she's been coming to that coffee shop, she's had nothing else, and that she saw no reason to ever change. I wonder if that means you just know what you like, or if you're stuck somewhere and lose something?
So at the same time, I need the discipline from work. I'm trying to make myself work really hard. I'm trying to punish myself for being so stupid with money. And...it's really time for me to realise I can't just reinvent my life every few months. That I have to decide on some things and stick to them. But I still want time to be my own, to wake up when I feel like it and sleep when I want to. Student life is totally spoiling me...
So is the ability to travel. In three days I'm taking off to Costa Rica, gonna be a total jungle monkey for a week and see what kind of trouble I can get myself into! I love the ability to take off. To know that I can adapt to a new place. And realise that certain things don't have to stay with you all the time.
The human system is extremely flexible. So many important things are determined by a small set of factors. And so much else is determined just by context. So I like to change my contexts to see what remains. And, time away from something always makes it clearer what's important.
Also--Merry Christmas to everyone, have an awesome time with your families if you have em...and go wild on new year's. :)
I'm not sure how I got through the past month at all! As soon as papers were handed in it was exams and jobs ...all trying to own my time.
The other day a woman in her 70s or 80s was waiting for me to serve her her coffee and biscuit. She reflected that for the past ten years that she's been coming to that coffee shop, she's had nothing else, and that she saw no reason to ever change. I wonder if that means you just know what you like, or if you're stuck somewhere and lose something?
So at the same time, I need the discipline from work. I'm trying to make myself work really hard. I'm trying to punish myself for being so stupid with money. And...it's really time for me to realise I can't just reinvent my life every few months. That I have to decide on some things and stick to them. But I still want time to be my own, to wake up when I feel like it and sleep when I want to. Student life is totally spoiling me...
So is the ability to travel. In three days I'm taking off to Costa Rica, gonna be a total jungle monkey for a week and see what kind of trouble I can get myself into! I love the ability to take off. To know that I can adapt to a new place. And realise that certain things don't have to stay with you all the time.
The human system is extremely flexible. So many important things are determined by a small set of factors. And so much else is determined just by context. So I like to change my contexts to see what remains. And, time away from something always makes it clearer what's important.
Also--Merry Christmas to everyone, have an awesome time with your families if you have em...and go wild on new year's. :)