Rendered too speechless to think of a proper subject line.
To die is to be at peace; that is what I believe. But in reality is it really so?
Friday afternoon, my good friend Olivia asked me to order a Micromax X222 for her from her Flipkart account since she doesn't have Internet with her yet. I agreed and did it. Later on, in the evening, due to the immense heat, I went for a shower and tea downstairs. On coming back up, I realized that she had called me in the meantime. On calling her back, I greeted her and asked her about it. She sounded like she had been suffering from cold for days, but such was not the case, since she was perfectly fine on Tuesday and didn't mention so to me either in the text talk that we normally have. Then she said that her dad passed away. I was so shocked I didn't know what to say.
I asked her how in the world it could have happened since I'd only seen him a month back and he'd been perfectly fine and perfectly healthy. She told me that he had fainted and that she could do nothing to help him.
I was absolutely stunned. All I could think about was when I met him last month and the month before that, and how happy Olivia was this week since her parents were here.
Later on, she told us, that he had a cerebral attack. There's a minimal chance of surviving a cerebral attack.
We went to her aunt's place in Dhakuria from college in the afternoon and saw her and her mom. Her mom is inconsolable and she was stable and calm but she was fighting a battle inside, there was no doubt about it. She had always been one to hide her emotions to a certain extent from everyone. When they brought him home, we were crying so hard we didn't know what to do.
Then we went to the cremation ghat for the last rites. There's a saying, "je shukheo ache, dukkheo ache, shey i ashol bondhu." (He who is with you in times of happiness and grief is a true friend). I tried my part to be there for her, just being there, because she and I are of the same age, and she's knows as much about this as I do, though I've been to the crematorium ghat before. Many times. First time was when my father's aunt died, next time when my grandmother died, then when my dad's best friend, Jayantakaku died. And more that I cannot remember at this time.
My dad says the mental state of someone who has been to the crematorium and seeing the rites is called as 'shoshan bairagi'. Someone who has realized that the only truth in the world is this: once you're born, you'll die.
My birthday is in two days and I'm in no mood to celebrate or even feel lighthearted, because one of my best friends just lost a chunk of her life. But I will try to be happy, just try, for her sake and for her father's, who is not with us anymore.
Uncle, I hope wherever you're, you're at peace. Our prayers are always with you.