FIC: A Modest Proposal, part 1b (Parks and Rec, Leslie/Ben)
Title: A Modest Proposal (Part 1b)
Authors: tearupthesky and annakovsky
Fandom: Parks and Recreation
Pairing: Leslie Knope/Ben Wyatt
Rating: R for sexytimes
Length: 12,300 words in this part
Authors' Notes: Set immediately post-"Smallest Park," 4x08. Wouldn't normally post this as a WIP, but it will no doubt get completely jossed by the next episode and this thing is turning annoyingly epic, so we thought we might as well put it out there while it's still canon compliant. More parts coming soon!
Summary: The one where to avoid a sex scandal they just get married.
Back to part 1a
**
Everyone always says that planning a wedding is super stressful, so Leslie keeps waiting for it to be really hard, but it's practically the easiest event she's ever planned -- compared to the Harvest Festival, it barely even registers. By the end of the day that they told Chris they were getting married, she already has the date set, Harvey James Park booked, the florist arranged, the justice of the peace lined up, and appointments with three different bakeries to try their cakes. The cake is important, all right? But otherwise, she just contacts her usual vendors, and it's not even expensive because half of them are so pleased to hear she's getting married that they want to donate their services for free. How does it take people a year to get all this done? She thought a month might be too fast, but she could've totally gotten it done in two weeks.
She knows it's just a fake wedding to get around the rule, but it's still fun to get to plan an event and think about what she and Ben and their friends would like, instead of the whole public. Andy's going to write them an original song, and they're getting a bouncy castle for the reception, and there's going to be face-painting, and it's basically going to be the most fun wedding ever in the history of the universe. And it's extra awesome to be planning things with Ben.
Actually the weirdest part of the whole thing is having everybody know that she and Ben are together. It's such a strange thrill to be able to hold hands at lunch in the courtyard if they want, and go to restaurants that are actually in Pawnee, and show up at work in the same car in the morning, and have no one even bat an eye. While they were dating before, they always had to have sex at Leslie's -- which was kind of nice, actually, home court advantage -- but now Ben's place is an actual option, even if Andy and April are home.
Leslie's been over there before, obviously, but it's different to show up as Ben's girlfriend and not as, like, Andy and April's party guest. "Hey," Ben says, grinning at her as he opens the door and taking the big box of wedding preparations out of her hands. Very gentlemanly, Ben.
"Hi," Leslie says, leaning in to kiss him hello. That still isn't getting old either, kissing Ben in public.
It goes on for a little long, actually. In fact, until Leslie hears April say, "Ew," from behind Ben.
Leslie pulls back just far enough to say, "Shut up, April," and then kisses Ben a little more just because she can. Also because it makes April make a gagging noise. Ben is smiling against her mouth.
When they finally break apart Leslie says, "Are you ready for some exciting reception seating action?" This part is going to be so fun! She made little pins to represent the different people so they can move them around on the table diagram she made. All the little pins have people's actual faces on them and everything.
Ben laughs. "Definitely," he says. "You want spaghetti or pancakes for dinner?"
Ew, spaghetti. "Do you even have to ask? You got bacon, right?"
"Of course," Ben says as they head for the kitchen. "And don't worry, I stocked up on extra whipped cream so we don't have another incident."
"Aww, you're the best fiance ever," Leslie says. She's getting such a charge out of calling him her fiance, and it's kind of funny, like an in-joke between them that nobody else gets. Ben gives her the little secret amused smile he always does when she says that.
"Sweet," Andy calls to Ben from where he's playing Xbox on the couch. "We're having pancakes? Did you get real maple syrup this time?"
"Uh... Leslie and I are having pancakes," Ben says. "I don't know what you're having."
"But it's Wednesday," April says, looking horrified. "You always cook on Wednesdays!"
"Yeah, it's family dinner night!" Andy says. "Since when is it not family dinner night?"
"Since Leslie and I are having date night?" Ben says. He sets the box of wedding stuff down on the table and goes to the kitchen to start cooking, totally ignoring the sad puppy, lips-pouting-out faces that April and Andy are giving him right now. Wow, he is made of strong stuff, apparently he is not going to be spoiling the hypothetical future children William and Elizabeth want them to have.
"Aww," Leslie says. "They can have dinner with us if they want."
Ben gives her a look like, don't encourage them, but Andy's already saying, "Yay!" and April's saying, "See, Leslie wants us to have dinner with you. Don't be selfish, Ben."
"Yeah, don't be selfish, Ben," Leslie says, teasing him.
Ben rolls his eyes at her, but he's smiling a little. "Yeah, all right, don't say I didn't warn you." He's starting to mix up the pancake batter, and Leslie perches on the kitchen counter to watch him.
She looks over her shoulder at where April and Andy are cuddling on the couch now, April telling Andy what to do in his video game. "Aww, but they're so cute," she says.
"Trust me, they're less cute when they're shortsheeting your bed," he says. "Okay, do you want blueberries or chocolate chips in the pancakes? The kids will probably want chocolate chips."
Leslie glances over at him, startled, and he's smiling to himself as he cracks an egg against the bowl. She laughs at the joke, feeling a little funny in her stomach and says, "Well, me too."
"Shocker," Ben says, shaking his head at her.
"Chocolate has antioxidants!" she says, and when he just laughs at her she grabs his tie to pull him in to kiss him, his lips warm against hers. He's smiling again and opening his mouth and after a second he moves over a step to stand between her legs, hands dropping down to her thighs.
When they finally pull apart, Leslie's still holding his tie, playing with it between her fingers. "I can't believe you're still wearing your tie at home," she says. "Isn't that uncomfortable?"
Ben shrugs as she starts undoing the knot. "I forgot about it," he says.
"You're not that good at relaxing, did you know that?" Leslie says.
His hands are still big and warm on her thighs, and it's so intimate, her taking off his tie. He laughs. "Look who's talking," he says as she slides the tie out of his collar. "The woman who gets up at 5 am so she can do work before work."
"Hey!" Leslie says, laughing. "But at least I'm wearing a hoodie right now." She unbuttons the top button of his shirt. "There, that's better."
"Well, thank you," Ben says. He kisses the corner of her mouth for a second before he lets go of her and goes back to mixing the eggs into the pancake batter.
"Okay, I wanted to run some wedding stuff by you," Leslie says. "I've been thinking about what to do between the ceremony and the reception, and okay, this might be a little bit over the top, but hear me out: fireworks."
Ben's eyebrows go up. "Fireworks," he says. He gets out a measuring cup and starts pouring milk into it.
"Yeah!" Leslie says as he mixes the milk into the batter too. "They have fancy ones now, ones that do shapes! Maybe we could even get them to do ones, like, with our names, or maybe our initials, I don't know, I haven't looked into it yet, but wouldn't that be awesome? Fireworks right when they announce us as husband and wife?"
Ben smiles a little at the husband and wife -- seriously, it's just so weird and funny and kind of cool -- but overall he doesn't seem quite as enthused about the idea as Leslie thought he would be. "Yeah, um, that's an idea," he says. But then he just trails off and there's this horrible pause.
"What?" Leslie says. "Ugh, you hate it, don't you? That was a dumb idea, I don't know what I was thinking."
"No, no," Ben says. "No, that's a great idea! It's just...." He lowers his voice a little, shooting a look over at April and Andy even though they're way at the other end of the room, and have turned on an action movie really loud, so there's no way they could hear them. "Well, that sounds kind of expensive, doesn't it?"
"Oh," Leslie says. "I guess. I hadn't thought about it."
Ben shrugs, looking apologetic. "I mean, just -- because this isn't really a real wedding... we probably shouldn't go crazy on the expensive stuff, right?"
He says it so nicely, and it's such a reasonable thing to say, and he obviously isn't trying to hurt Leslie's feelings or anything. It's Leslie's fault that she gets a sick feeling in her stomach over it -- she can't believe she was half-forgetting this isn't a real wedding, getting all caught up in the planning and the moment and everything. It's a good thing that Ben's here to remind her, actually, so she doesn't get to thinking that he's really going to be like her real husband after this. Sure, they want to date, and be together, but that doesn't mean they're getting married. This relationship is still brand new -- it's good for Ben to remind her that they aren't that serious.
"Right," Leslie says, swallowing. "Yeah, of course, that's a good point. Not a real wedding."
Ben gets a weird expression on his face at that, but he probably just feels bad about shooting Leslie down. After a second he says, "I mean, it's not a real wedding, right?"
God, he probably thinks Leslie is trying to trick him into getting married or something, like she's got some crazy agenda and probably he's going to freak out and break up with her in the shower, oh God. She's been here before. "Of course not!" she says. "Don't be silly, I was just -- you know, putting on a good show, is all! But no fireworks, roger that, good buddy."
She punches him in the arm for good measure, but Ben's still frowning a little, and it's making her nervous. "Um," she says, desperately wanting to change the subject. "Are the pancakes ready yet?"
Ben looks down at the batter like he'd forgotten he was in the middle of making it. "Oh! Yeah, just about," he says. "Let me get the chocolate chips."
**
Andy and April are chomping at the bit to eat as soon as the pancakes start coming off the griddle -- Ben owns a griddle, like a real adult person who doesn't have to use a frying pan for pancakes -- but Ben makes them wait until enough are ready that they can all sit down together.
"This is nice," Leslie says, looking around the table at Andy with his mouth stuffed full of pancake already, and April doing some kind of weird surgery on hers with her knife, prying out the chocolate chips to arrange them in some pattern Leslie can't make out yet. Ben is sitting next to her, and he hooked his ankle around hers, so they're touching and no one can see. She kind of wants to hold hands with him under the table but it would be his right hand and she should probably let him eat. She's trying to be more thoughtful like that lately.
"Totally," Andy says, the word garbled through the pancake. He chews and takes a sip of milk and swallows. "Family dinner night is the best. Hey, how come you guys are engaged but you're not living together?"
Oh no. So far they've been able to glide along without anyone asking very many awkward questions, but crap, that does look weird. "Um," Leslie says, shooting a panicked glance at Ben, who has, of course, completely frozen. He is really not an asset in this whole lying-to-all-their-friends situation. "We're, um, not moving in together until after the wedding. Because of... um, propriety."
April is looking at them with that unsettling gaze like she sees right through them, but Andy nods enthusiastically. "Yeah, we didn't either," he says. "Because we didn't decide to get married until the day before, but still. Propriety is awesome!"
"Yes," Leslie says. Her voice sounds weird. "It is very awesome."
"Well, that's cool, though," Andy says. "We can have family dinner night all the time once you move in, Leslie! It'll be the best!"
When Leslie... what? She blinks at Andy for a second, then looks at Ben, who looks equally confused. "Um, Andy," Leslie says. "I'm not moving in here." No way. No way in hell. Ben says they have mice now. Andy and April have started to give them names and Ben's pretty sure they're feeding them behind his back.
"What?" April says, eyes narrowing at Ben.
Crap on a crawdad, why are they having this conversation now? Ben and Leslie haven't even gotten around to talking about their living arrangements after the wedding yet -- it's so awkward! Moving in together is a big step, and Leslie doesn't know if they're there yet, or if Ben's there yet -- they just barely got back together, after all. And now Ben's talking about how this isn't a real wedding, and things aren't that serious, and just, Leslie doesn't want to push anything!
But they'll pretty much have to move in together after the wedding if they want to keep, you know, not getting fired, and now that she thinks about it, Leslie guesses she was mostly assuming Ben would move in to her place. She has a spare room so he can have his own space if he wants, and there aren't any mice, and no one will wake him up at 1 am playing a new game they invented called "Demolition." But she doesn't know if Ben's okay with that or if he wants them both to move somewhere else or what, crap, why is this coming up in front of other people? It's on her wedding planning list and everything; she should've talked about this days ago instead of being too chicken to find out how Ben felt about it.
"You're moving out?" Andy says, staring at Ben like he's just been personally betrayed. "But why!"
"Um," Ben says. He looks at Leslie, a distressed sort of look Leslie can't read, and then he says, "Well, I'm, uh, getting married, Andy. You guys can get a new roommate."
"That's bullshit," April says. "You signed a lease."
Ben stares at her for a second. "No, I didn't," he says. "Anyway I'm already six months ahead on the rent, so you guys should be fine for awhile."
"But who's gonna remind me to pay the bills?" Andy says. He still looks bereft, like he just found out his parents are getting divorced. "Who's going to take me to the hospital when I burn my arm playing Fire Darts?"
Oh God. "Fire Darts?" Leslie says, looking at Ben.
Ben closes his eyes and shakes his head for a second, like the memory pains him. "Okay, even after I move out, you are not allowed to play Fire Darts," Ben says. "I mean it, Andy. I will find out if you do."
"God," Andy says. "They're not even that dangerous. You totally overreacted."
"Andy!" Ben says.
Andy looks aggravated, but he says, "Fine, I promise."
"You guys will be fine," Ben says. "And after the wedding, I'll be...." He trails off, looking at Leslie like a question. Leslie's pretty sure the question is, 'are we moving in together?' She makes a 'yes, totally' face back at him. "I'll be moving into Leslie's place," Ben says, more confidently this time, though he shoots another look at Leslie like he's nervous after he says it. She nods just a little bit. Yes, yeah, that's good. Phew. Ben looks relieved too, smiling at her shyly before he turns back to Andy. "Okay, Andy?"
Andy shrugs. He still looks bummed out, but he's rallying. "I can't believe you guys are really getting married," he says. "I'm still totally mad you're moving out, but being married is the best. Right, babe?"
April nods, giving Leslie and Ben a measuring look. "Definitely," she says. "Do you want some marriage advice? We've got tons."
Yeahhhhh, okay, that is not necessary. "Oh, I think we're okay," Leslie says.
April totally ignores her, though, starting to talk over the end of her sentence. "First thing, husbands have to do whatever you say. It's in the Constitution."
"Yep!" Andy says, completely cheerful and completely sincere.
"Um," Leslie says. "That's not in the Constitution."
"No, it is," Andy says, his voice getting delicate and precise. "April showed me. Article 2b, sentence 3."
April is smirking, and Leslie opens her mouth to correct him, but under the table Ben steps on her foot gently. When she glances over at him, he shakes his head like he's trying to tell her arguing with them isn't worth the effort. So instead Leslie says, "Well, that's good to know. Isn't it, Ben? Are you ready to do whatever I say?"
Ben smiles at her a little ruefully, the pancake speared on his fork forgotten for a second. "Always," he says.
**
Elizabeth was right; Ben and Leslie do look good together in the pictures from the photo-op at the rec center. Ben's standing behind her supportively just like Bill Clinton when Hillary was running, except without all the cheating and attention-hogging, and Ben's blue tie does pop really nicely -- Tom took him shopping for a new suit, and the one they got looks great -- and it's all so respectable and romantic and even Leslie's stupid perfect plastic engagement ring catches the light and looks amazing. The pictures are so good that Leslie almost wonders if they could use them for their official engagement notice in the paper, even though that's probably a silly idea. It's just so nice to have a sort-of spouse type person behind her at a campaign event instead of coworkers.
The event was a good way to announce it, too -- all the questions are startled and therefore nicer, and Perd Hapley looks really happy for them, and afterward Leslie is so relieved it all went well.
The happy glow of it lasts exactly three hours, which is how long it takes for Joan Callamezzo to call the campaign asking if Leslie wants to come on Pawnee Today to talk about how she had sex in exchange for money for the Harvest Festival, but it's a really nice three hours anyway.
**
That night, Ben and Leslie are having their normal Friday night work party at Leslie's house, sitting on the floor in front of her coffee table with their respective files spread out in front of them. Ben is looking through budget spreadsheets, and Leslie is working on her next campaign fundraiser, but that keeps reminding her that she and Ben are going on Joan Callamezzo's show on Monday, which keeps making her feel like she's going to barf. God, it's not even the first time she's been on Joan's show for a scandal about sex-- there were the gay penguins, and the topless centaur painting, and the time everyone thought she was sleeping with Councilman Dexhart -- but this time it's making her and Ben into something tawdry and that feels extra awful. She can't stop glancing over at Ben to see if he feels the same way, but he... pretty much looks fine, so he must be really good at hiding his feelings.
They're going to have a prep session with William and Elizabeth over the weekend, which should make her feel less like barfing but somehow actually makes it worse. Because they're probably going to tell her and Ben to talk about how committed they are to each other and how they're going to have a gajillion babies to send to Pawnee's stellar public school system, and it's way too soon to be talking about any of that and Ben's going to freak out that she's baby crazy and break up with her just like Steve did when she accidentally told him that she'd always wanted to have a daughter named Eleanor -- she didn't even mean she wanted to have Eleanor with STEVE, but did he see it that way, no, he did not -- and then everything will be the worst and she'll be alone and her campaign will be over and she'll have nothing and --
"Are you okay?" Ben says, out of nowhere, like he can read her thoughts.
"What?" Leslie says. Crap, he can't actually read her thoughts, can he? "Um, why?"
"You're twitching," Ben says, and he reaches out and puts his hand on her knee, which she just now notices has been bouncing up and down nervously for God knows how long. She makes herself hold still, but Ben leaves his hand there anyway, which feels nice.
"Oh," Leslie says, trying to laugh casually, like someone without a care in the world. Judging from Ben's alarmed look, it came off more scary than anything, though. Whoops. Ugh, what is even the point of trying to be casual, this is a disaster. "God, Ben," she says, and then suddenly everything's pouring of her in a rush. "I'm so sorry about this Joan Callamezzo thing, it's going to be awful, and if it wasn't for me you wouldn't be in this mess, I shouldn't be running for office at all, probably, it's just a bad idea, and you don't have to come on Pawnee Today if you don't want to, I totally understand if you want out and I --"
"Leslie," Ben interrupts her, looking really confused. "Hey. Hey, calm down, it's all fine. We knew this was going to come out if we got back together, and we decided to do it anyway. We'll get through it together. It's nothing to be upset about."
Leslie swallows. "It isn't?"
"Of course not," Ben says. He reaches out and grabs her hand, squeezing it for a second. She squeezes back, smiling at him tentatively, and he lifts her hand up to his mouth to kiss the back of it. Ugh, stupid perfect Ben.
She really just wants to make out with him right now, but she better warn him about all the horrible things William and Elizabeth are going to say while she's thinking about it. "Um," she says. "Just to brace you for our meeting about the interview tomorrow. Uh, William and Elizabeth might want us to talk about, uh, like if we're going to have kids and things like that --" Ben's eyes widen a little bit and she gets panicky, talking even faster. "I know! I know, it's way too soon for all that. I'm sorry, it's so awkward. I just wanted you to know so you wouldn't be surprised." Oh God, she has to let him know that she's not pushing for any of this, she is not taking this too seriously, she knows it's all pretend! "I mean, I, um, think it's crazy too, I can't believe this fake wedding means we have to talk about dumb stuff like that."
Ben's face has gone all still and unreadable. "Right," he says. "Yeah."
"Believe me," Leslie says. "That stuff is all way in the future."
Ben is not looking as relieved as she thought he would, oh God, does he still think she wants to have his babies immediately? "I mean," she says, just to be absolutely, perfectly clear. "We're still just dating. I totally understand that this isn't a real marriage."
Ben clears his throat. "Right, of course," he says. "Yeah, uh, me too. Totally fake."
He doesn't exactly look like he's on the verge of breaking up with her, so mission accomplished, she guesses, but he doesn't look too good and Leslie feels crappier than she was anticipating from the whole conversation. Just... well, of course the marriage is fake. What was she expecting, Ben to correct her and say, no, it's actually real? He's already made himself really clear about that.
He still looks really weird, though, staring off into space like he's forgotten Leslie's there. "Hey," she says. "Um, are we okay?"
Ben blinks, brought back to earth, and after a second he smiles at her. "Of course," he says.
"And you're really okay with going on Pawnee Today for Joan to call us big sluts?"
Ben laughs. "It's always been a dream of mine to get called a slut on local access TV."
"We should really prepare for the worst," Leslie says, taking the spreadsheet out of Ben's hands and laying it down with her files. Ben leans back gamely and Leslie climbs onto his lap, running her hands along his shoulders, her fingers through his hair, still not used to the fact that no one's going to burst in and arrest them. She kind of wonders if she'll ever get used to it, or if she really wants to. "I mean, we know Joan's not afraid to hit below the belt, and she's going to see any hesitation as a sign of weakness."
Ben slides his hands up Leslie's back and smiles that cute sideways smile. "Yeah, but isn't that what the prep is for? To prepare us?"
Smartass. Leslie tugs on his hair and he pinches her hip to retaliate, then she flicks his earlobe with her thumb. "William and Elizabeth have been super helpful, but they haven't exactly dazzled me with their outside-the-box thinking. I doubt they have the imagination to keep up with Joan."
Ben pulls Leslie's blouse untucked and runs his hand across the small of her back. While Leslie's kissing the corner of his mouth, he murmurs, "You, on the other hand, are extremely imaginative. What kind of questions do you think Joan might have for me?"
Leslie scooches farther onto Ben's lap until their hips bump together and she can feel the bulge in his pants. "I think she'll probably ask what's your favorite thing about doing it with me." Ben laughs and Leslie kisses his smiling mouth. "Don't make light of the issues, Benjamin," she says. "Pawnee voters have a right to know."
"Hmmm," Ben says, making a big show of looking off into space, like he's thinking deeply. "My favorite thing about doing it with you?" He smiles a little wider, eyes bright and amused. "Everything?"
Leslie cackles. "Ben!" she says, hitting him on the shoulder. "C'mon, that's not an answer. If you highlight everything, you have actually emphasized nothing. That's very good advice Ron gave me once when I bought too many highlighters."
Ben laughs, starting to undo the buttons on her blouse, his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrates. Luckily since it's Friday she's wearing her sexy black bra. "I love when you talk dirty to me about office supplies," he says.
"Joan's not going to let you dodge the question like that," Leslie says sternly, wiggling around a little on his lap as his fingertips brush her bare skin.
Ben leans in to kiss her collarbone, and she can feel him smiling against her skin. "Joan plays hardball," he says. Then, in a lower tone, more intimate and serious, "I like going down on you."
Leslie shivers involuntarily, remembering the last time he did that. "Ugh, you're such a suck up," she says, trying to play it off, but her voice comes out a little low herself, not the jokey way she means it to.
Ben smiles up at her, his eyes dark and a little bit smug, and he pushes her blouse off her shoulders. "Does Joan think I'm lying?"
He is wearing entirely too many clothes, is what Joan thinks. Leslie starts unbuttoning his shirt. "No," she says, trying to keep her dignity. "I suppose Joan will accept that answer."
Ben grins at her. "You know what I think Joan will ask you?" he says, cupping her breast thoughtfully over her bra.
"What?" Leslie says. She's gotten enough buttons undone that he should be able to just pull the shirt off over his head, and she starts to go for it. Ben lifts his arms to help.
"When," he says, his voice muffled as the shirt covers his face, "did you realize you wanted to ravish your boss?"
Leslie gets the shirt all the way off right then, revealing Ben with his hair sticking up and his eyes bright, looking younger than he does when he's more put-together. She twists her fingers through the wiry hair on his chest and sighs. "The first time I saw him chopping wood. Flannel hugging his biceps in the crisp autumn air. God, it was glorious."
Ben groans and sinks backwards until he's lying on the rug and Leslie's straddling him. She leans down close until their noses almost touch and her hair falls around their faces.
"Oh, no, Joan meant you, didn't she?" she teases, widening her eyes. "She should really be more specific, I had no way of knowing!"
His body all lax in protest, Ben starts to roll his eyes, then grabs Leslie's ass suddenly with one hand and heaves them over on the rug, pressing her down on the floor and hiking her legs around his waist roughly. He catches her in a hard, dizzying kiss and runs his hands up her body to squeeze her breasts, grinding his hips against her just the right way to make her gasp, and when he leans back, Leslie would be hard-pressed to remember the name of the current President of the United States, let alone the Director of the Parks Department.
"Did that help clear things up?" Ben asks, smirking, reaching under Leslie's back to get her bra unhooked.
"Yeah, that, um." Leslie licks her lips, staring at Ben's stupid mouth. "Wait, what was the question?"
Ben thumbs Leslie's nipples in slow circles, then starts rolling them between his fingers, and he leans down to kiss the tops of Leslie's breasts before he looks up at her face. "When did you realize you wanted me, Leslie?"
Ugh, besides right now, this minute, and all the time forever? "When you told me how hard you were working to prove you were a responsible grown-up. You sounded so sad, and I wanted to do some very irresponsible things to cheer you up."
Ben blinks a few times, making his most surprised face. "Really," he says. "Huh."
He sounds really dubious, but what's so weird about that? "What, does Joan think I'm lying?"
"No," Ben says, still looking taken aback. "Just -- are you sure? That was really early. That was like the second day I was in Pawnee, practically."
"Yeah," Leslie says, still not getting what the weird part is. Wait, did he not want to do stuff to her until way later? "Why, when did you realize you wanted me?"
After a second Ben looks sheepish. "Yeah, okay," he says. "Probably when you told me you talked to everyone at April's birthday party and they all wanted me to leave."
"Really?" Leslie says, laughing despite herself. "Oh my God, I said that? That's so mean."
Ben shrugs. "You're cute when you're drunk," he says, and leans down to take her nipple into his mouth.
God, he is good with his stupid tongue. Leslie slides her hands into his hair -- ugh, and he has such good hair, she's always wanting to run her fingers through it at inappropriate times during the work day -- and tries to retain cognitive function. Thinking about Ben liking her way back then.
Ben comes back up to kiss her again, and she grinds her hips into his, so he groans. He's hard against her leg. "This was a good interview," Leslie says, a little breathless as Ben starts kissing down her neck. "Joan might be a little scandalized if we do this part in her studio, though."
"Joan doesn't like topless interviews?" Ben says.
Leslie laughs, low, and reaches between them for the button on his fly. "Yeah, and she should probably really leave for the next part," she says, brushing against his cock before she starts to undo it.
"Fuck," Ben gasps as she touches him. "Yeah, let's stop talking about Joan." He lifts his hips to help her get his pants undone, and then reaches for hers, slipping his hand under her waistband without even bothering with the fly.
"Ben," she says as he slides it into her underwear, slipping over her folds. God, that always feels so good. He dips his fingertip into her, teasing, and she grabs at his back. "God," she says, somehow still thinking about Joan, about the big sex scandal brewing, about people thinking that she slept with Ben to help her career, about everyone knowing about them. It's awful but it's kind of a little bit hot, too. Everyone knowing that Ben wants her badly enough to risk his career. "You know. Everyone in town knows you're doing this to me."
Startled, Ben pulls back to stare at her -- oh god, that was probably too dirty, oh god, take it back -- but then before she can freak out too badly he smiles, that glint in his eye he gets when they play Biden and Pelosi.
"You like that, huh?" Ben says, slipping in a second finger, making Leslie gasp and squirm. "Everyone knows we broke the rules. Everyone knows we tried to stop but we couldn't, because we're just too good together."
He leans down and kisses her neck, sweeping his tongue over her skin, using his teeth just hard enough to leave a mark, curling his fingers at the same time against that good place inside her, and Leslie sucks in a breath.
"Someone's going to see!" she says, aiming for a protest, but it comes out breathy and excited, and her hips push up against Ben's hand all by themselves.
Ben eases up immediately but Leslie can still feel the tender spot on her throat where it must be all pinked up from his mouth, where it might turn red, might let everyone know Ben was kissing her, but they won't know he had his fingers inside her at the same time, they won't know how eagerly Leslie arched her hips and wrestled down her fly so she could shove her pants off and pull Ben down to her, they won't know how amazing that first deep push inside felt, how it always feels, Ben's shocked shaky breath against her lips like he'll never get used to this either.
They won't know any of that, and frankly it's none of their business. Leslie's done feeling guilty for wanting to share a connection with another person. Sure, maybe she and Ben will mess it up for themselves somehow, someday, but she's not going to let anyone else take that chance away from them, not Chris, not Joan, not anyone.
"Hey," Ben murmurs against Leslie's cheek, gently bringing her out of her reverie. "You with me?"
Leslie reaches up and cups Ben's face in her hands, looking into his eyes, getting back to that place where nothing else matters, where there's just Ben and how he makes her feel. "Of course I am," she says, and Ben kisses her, and it's perfect.
At least in this sex scandal, Leslie finally gets to enjoy the actual sex part.
**
TBC
Authors: tearupthesky and annakovsky
Fandom: Parks and Recreation
Pairing: Leslie Knope/Ben Wyatt
Rating: R for sexytimes
Length: 12,300 words in this part
Authors' Notes: Set immediately post-"Smallest Park," 4x08. Wouldn't normally post this as a WIP, but it will no doubt get completely jossed by the next episode and this thing is turning annoyingly epic, so we thought we might as well put it out there while it's still canon compliant. More parts coming soon!
Summary: The one where to avoid a sex scandal they just get married.
Back to part 1a
**
Everyone always says that planning a wedding is super stressful, so Leslie keeps waiting for it to be really hard, but it's practically the easiest event she's ever planned -- compared to the Harvest Festival, it barely even registers. By the end of the day that they told Chris they were getting married, she already has the date set, Harvey James Park booked, the florist arranged, the justice of the peace lined up, and appointments with three different bakeries to try their cakes. The cake is important, all right? But otherwise, she just contacts her usual vendors, and it's not even expensive because half of them are so pleased to hear she's getting married that they want to donate their services for free. How does it take people a year to get all this done? She thought a month might be too fast, but she could've totally gotten it done in two weeks.
She knows it's just a fake wedding to get around the rule, but it's still fun to get to plan an event and think about what she and Ben and their friends would like, instead of the whole public. Andy's going to write them an original song, and they're getting a bouncy castle for the reception, and there's going to be face-painting, and it's basically going to be the most fun wedding ever in the history of the universe. And it's extra awesome to be planning things with Ben.
Actually the weirdest part of the whole thing is having everybody know that she and Ben are together. It's such a strange thrill to be able to hold hands at lunch in the courtyard if they want, and go to restaurants that are actually in Pawnee, and show up at work in the same car in the morning, and have no one even bat an eye. While they were dating before, they always had to have sex at Leslie's -- which was kind of nice, actually, home court advantage -- but now Ben's place is an actual option, even if Andy and April are home.
Leslie's been over there before, obviously, but it's different to show up as Ben's girlfriend and not as, like, Andy and April's party guest. "Hey," Ben says, grinning at her as he opens the door and taking the big box of wedding preparations out of her hands. Very gentlemanly, Ben.
"Hi," Leslie says, leaning in to kiss him hello. That still isn't getting old either, kissing Ben in public.
It goes on for a little long, actually. In fact, until Leslie hears April say, "Ew," from behind Ben.
Leslie pulls back just far enough to say, "Shut up, April," and then kisses Ben a little more just because she can. Also because it makes April make a gagging noise. Ben is smiling against her mouth.
When they finally break apart Leslie says, "Are you ready for some exciting reception seating action?" This part is going to be so fun! She made little pins to represent the different people so they can move them around on the table diagram she made. All the little pins have people's actual faces on them and everything.
Ben laughs. "Definitely," he says. "You want spaghetti or pancakes for dinner?"
Ew, spaghetti. "Do you even have to ask? You got bacon, right?"
"Of course," Ben says as they head for the kitchen. "And don't worry, I stocked up on extra whipped cream so we don't have another incident."
"Aww, you're the best fiance ever," Leslie says. She's getting such a charge out of calling him her fiance, and it's kind of funny, like an in-joke between them that nobody else gets. Ben gives her the little secret amused smile he always does when she says that.
"Sweet," Andy calls to Ben from where he's playing Xbox on the couch. "We're having pancakes? Did you get real maple syrup this time?"
"Uh... Leslie and I are having pancakes," Ben says. "I don't know what you're having."
"But it's Wednesday," April says, looking horrified. "You always cook on Wednesdays!"
"Yeah, it's family dinner night!" Andy says. "Since when is it not family dinner night?"
"Since Leslie and I are having date night?" Ben says. He sets the box of wedding stuff down on the table and goes to the kitchen to start cooking, totally ignoring the sad puppy, lips-pouting-out faces that April and Andy are giving him right now. Wow, he is made of strong stuff, apparently he is not going to be spoiling the hypothetical future children William and Elizabeth want them to have.
"Aww," Leslie says. "They can have dinner with us if they want."
Ben gives her a look like, don't encourage them, but Andy's already saying, "Yay!" and April's saying, "See, Leslie wants us to have dinner with you. Don't be selfish, Ben."
"Yeah, don't be selfish, Ben," Leslie says, teasing him.
Ben rolls his eyes at her, but he's smiling a little. "Yeah, all right, don't say I didn't warn you." He's starting to mix up the pancake batter, and Leslie perches on the kitchen counter to watch him.
She looks over her shoulder at where April and Andy are cuddling on the couch now, April telling Andy what to do in his video game. "Aww, but they're so cute," she says.
"Trust me, they're less cute when they're shortsheeting your bed," he says. "Okay, do you want blueberries or chocolate chips in the pancakes? The kids will probably want chocolate chips."
Leslie glances over at him, startled, and he's smiling to himself as he cracks an egg against the bowl. She laughs at the joke, feeling a little funny in her stomach and says, "Well, me too."
"Shocker," Ben says, shaking his head at her.
"Chocolate has antioxidants!" she says, and when he just laughs at her she grabs his tie to pull him in to kiss him, his lips warm against hers. He's smiling again and opening his mouth and after a second he moves over a step to stand between her legs, hands dropping down to her thighs.
When they finally pull apart, Leslie's still holding his tie, playing with it between her fingers. "I can't believe you're still wearing your tie at home," she says. "Isn't that uncomfortable?"
Ben shrugs as she starts undoing the knot. "I forgot about it," he says.
"You're not that good at relaxing, did you know that?" Leslie says.
His hands are still big and warm on her thighs, and it's so intimate, her taking off his tie. He laughs. "Look who's talking," he says as she slides the tie out of his collar. "The woman who gets up at 5 am so she can do work before work."
"Hey!" Leslie says, laughing. "But at least I'm wearing a hoodie right now." She unbuttons the top button of his shirt. "There, that's better."
"Well, thank you," Ben says. He kisses the corner of her mouth for a second before he lets go of her and goes back to mixing the eggs into the pancake batter.
"Okay, I wanted to run some wedding stuff by you," Leslie says. "I've been thinking about what to do between the ceremony and the reception, and okay, this might be a little bit over the top, but hear me out: fireworks."
Ben's eyebrows go up. "Fireworks," he says. He gets out a measuring cup and starts pouring milk into it.
"Yeah!" Leslie says as he mixes the milk into the batter too. "They have fancy ones now, ones that do shapes! Maybe we could even get them to do ones, like, with our names, or maybe our initials, I don't know, I haven't looked into it yet, but wouldn't that be awesome? Fireworks right when they announce us as husband and wife?"
Ben smiles a little at the husband and wife -- seriously, it's just so weird and funny and kind of cool -- but overall he doesn't seem quite as enthused about the idea as Leslie thought he would be. "Yeah, um, that's an idea," he says. But then he just trails off and there's this horrible pause.
"What?" Leslie says. "Ugh, you hate it, don't you? That was a dumb idea, I don't know what I was thinking."
"No, no," Ben says. "No, that's a great idea! It's just...." He lowers his voice a little, shooting a look over at April and Andy even though they're way at the other end of the room, and have turned on an action movie really loud, so there's no way they could hear them. "Well, that sounds kind of expensive, doesn't it?"
"Oh," Leslie says. "I guess. I hadn't thought about it."
Ben shrugs, looking apologetic. "I mean, just -- because this isn't really a real wedding... we probably shouldn't go crazy on the expensive stuff, right?"
He says it so nicely, and it's such a reasonable thing to say, and he obviously isn't trying to hurt Leslie's feelings or anything. It's Leslie's fault that she gets a sick feeling in her stomach over it -- she can't believe she was half-forgetting this isn't a real wedding, getting all caught up in the planning and the moment and everything. It's a good thing that Ben's here to remind her, actually, so she doesn't get to thinking that he's really going to be like her real husband after this. Sure, they want to date, and be together, but that doesn't mean they're getting married. This relationship is still brand new -- it's good for Ben to remind her that they aren't that serious.
"Right," Leslie says, swallowing. "Yeah, of course, that's a good point. Not a real wedding."
Ben gets a weird expression on his face at that, but he probably just feels bad about shooting Leslie down. After a second he says, "I mean, it's not a real wedding, right?"
God, he probably thinks Leslie is trying to trick him into getting married or something, like she's got some crazy agenda and probably he's going to freak out and break up with her in the shower, oh God. She's been here before. "Of course not!" she says. "Don't be silly, I was just -- you know, putting on a good show, is all! But no fireworks, roger that, good buddy."
She punches him in the arm for good measure, but Ben's still frowning a little, and it's making her nervous. "Um," she says, desperately wanting to change the subject. "Are the pancakes ready yet?"
Ben looks down at the batter like he'd forgotten he was in the middle of making it. "Oh! Yeah, just about," he says. "Let me get the chocolate chips."
**
Andy and April are chomping at the bit to eat as soon as the pancakes start coming off the griddle -- Ben owns a griddle, like a real adult person who doesn't have to use a frying pan for pancakes -- but Ben makes them wait until enough are ready that they can all sit down together.
"This is nice," Leslie says, looking around the table at Andy with his mouth stuffed full of pancake already, and April doing some kind of weird surgery on hers with her knife, prying out the chocolate chips to arrange them in some pattern Leslie can't make out yet. Ben is sitting next to her, and he hooked his ankle around hers, so they're touching and no one can see. She kind of wants to hold hands with him under the table but it would be his right hand and she should probably let him eat. She's trying to be more thoughtful like that lately.
"Totally," Andy says, the word garbled through the pancake. He chews and takes a sip of milk and swallows. "Family dinner night is the best. Hey, how come you guys are engaged but you're not living together?"
Oh no. So far they've been able to glide along without anyone asking very many awkward questions, but crap, that does look weird. "Um," Leslie says, shooting a panicked glance at Ben, who has, of course, completely frozen. He is really not an asset in this whole lying-to-all-their-friends situation. "We're, um, not moving in together until after the wedding. Because of... um, propriety."
April is looking at them with that unsettling gaze like she sees right through them, but Andy nods enthusiastically. "Yeah, we didn't either," he says. "Because we didn't decide to get married until the day before, but still. Propriety is awesome!"
"Yes," Leslie says. Her voice sounds weird. "It is very awesome."
"Well, that's cool, though," Andy says. "We can have family dinner night all the time once you move in, Leslie! It'll be the best!"
When Leslie... what? She blinks at Andy for a second, then looks at Ben, who looks equally confused. "Um, Andy," Leslie says. "I'm not moving in here." No way. No way in hell. Ben says they have mice now. Andy and April have started to give them names and Ben's pretty sure they're feeding them behind his back.
"What?" April says, eyes narrowing at Ben.
Crap on a crawdad, why are they having this conversation now? Ben and Leslie haven't even gotten around to talking about their living arrangements after the wedding yet -- it's so awkward! Moving in together is a big step, and Leslie doesn't know if they're there yet, or if Ben's there yet -- they just barely got back together, after all. And now Ben's talking about how this isn't a real wedding, and things aren't that serious, and just, Leslie doesn't want to push anything!
But they'll pretty much have to move in together after the wedding if they want to keep, you know, not getting fired, and now that she thinks about it, Leslie guesses she was mostly assuming Ben would move in to her place. She has a spare room so he can have his own space if he wants, and there aren't any mice, and no one will wake him up at 1 am playing a new game they invented called "Demolition." But she doesn't know if Ben's okay with that or if he wants them both to move somewhere else or what, crap, why is this coming up in front of other people? It's on her wedding planning list and everything; she should've talked about this days ago instead of being too chicken to find out how Ben felt about it.
"You're moving out?" Andy says, staring at Ben like he's just been personally betrayed. "But why!"
"Um," Ben says. He looks at Leslie, a distressed sort of look Leslie can't read, and then he says, "Well, I'm, uh, getting married, Andy. You guys can get a new roommate."
"That's bullshit," April says. "You signed a lease."
Ben stares at her for a second. "No, I didn't," he says. "Anyway I'm already six months ahead on the rent, so you guys should be fine for awhile."
"But who's gonna remind me to pay the bills?" Andy says. He still looks bereft, like he just found out his parents are getting divorced. "Who's going to take me to the hospital when I burn my arm playing Fire Darts?"
Oh God. "Fire Darts?" Leslie says, looking at Ben.
Ben closes his eyes and shakes his head for a second, like the memory pains him. "Okay, even after I move out, you are not allowed to play Fire Darts," Ben says. "I mean it, Andy. I will find out if you do."
"God," Andy says. "They're not even that dangerous. You totally overreacted."
"Andy!" Ben says.
Andy looks aggravated, but he says, "Fine, I promise."
"You guys will be fine," Ben says. "And after the wedding, I'll be...." He trails off, looking at Leslie like a question. Leslie's pretty sure the question is, 'are we moving in together?' She makes a 'yes, totally' face back at him. "I'll be moving into Leslie's place," Ben says, more confidently this time, though he shoots another look at Leslie like he's nervous after he says it. She nods just a little bit. Yes, yeah, that's good. Phew. Ben looks relieved too, smiling at her shyly before he turns back to Andy. "Okay, Andy?"
Andy shrugs. He still looks bummed out, but he's rallying. "I can't believe you guys are really getting married," he says. "I'm still totally mad you're moving out, but being married is the best. Right, babe?"
April nods, giving Leslie and Ben a measuring look. "Definitely," she says. "Do you want some marriage advice? We've got tons."
Yeahhhhh, okay, that is not necessary. "Oh, I think we're okay," Leslie says.
April totally ignores her, though, starting to talk over the end of her sentence. "First thing, husbands have to do whatever you say. It's in the Constitution."
"Yep!" Andy says, completely cheerful and completely sincere.
"Um," Leslie says. "That's not in the Constitution."
"No, it is," Andy says, his voice getting delicate and precise. "April showed me. Article 2b, sentence 3."
April is smirking, and Leslie opens her mouth to correct him, but under the table Ben steps on her foot gently. When she glances over at him, he shakes his head like he's trying to tell her arguing with them isn't worth the effort. So instead Leslie says, "Well, that's good to know. Isn't it, Ben? Are you ready to do whatever I say?"
Ben smiles at her a little ruefully, the pancake speared on his fork forgotten for a second. "Always," he says.
**
Elizabeth was right; Ben and Leslie do look good together in the pictures from the photo-op at the rec center. Ben's standing behind her supportively just like Bill Clinton when Hillary was running, except without all the cheating and attention-hogging, and Ben's blue tie does pop really nicely -- Tom took him shopping for a new suit, and the one they got looks great -- and it's all so respectable and romantic and even Leslie's stupid perfect plastic engagement ring catches the light and looks amazing. The pictures are so good that Leslie almost wonders if they could use them for their official engagement notice in the paper, even though that's probably a silly idea. It's just so nice to have a sort-of spouse type person behind her at a campaign event instead of coworkers.
The event was a good way to announce it, too -- all the questions are startled and therefore nicer, and Perd Hapley looks really happy for them, and afterward Leslie is so relieved it all went well.
The happy glow of it lasts exactly three hours, which is how long it takes for Joan Callamezzo to call the campaign asking if Leslie wants to come on Pawnee Today to talk about how she had sex in exchange for money for the Harvest Festival, but it's a really nice three hours anyway.
**
That night, Ben and Leslie are having their normal Friday night work party at Leslie's house, sitting on the floor in front of her coffee table with their respective files spread out in front of them. Ben is looking through budget spreadsheets, and Leslie is working on her next campaign fundraiser, but that keeps reminding her that she and Ben are going on Joan Callamezzo's show on Monday, which keeps making her feel like she's going to barf. God, it's not even the first time she's been on Joan's show for a scandal about sex-- there were the gay penguins, and the topless centaur painting, and the time everyone thought she was sleeping with Councilman Dexhart -- but this time it's making her and Ben into something tawdry and that feels extra awful. She can't stop glancing over at Ben to see if he feels the same way, but he... pretty much looks fine, so he must be really good at hiding his feelings.
They're going to have a prep session with William and Elizabeth over the weekend, which should make her feel less like barfing but somehow actually makes it worse. Because they're probably going to tell her and Ben to talk about how committed they are to each other and how they're going to have a gajillion babies to send to Pawnee's stellar public school system, and it's way too soon to be talking about any of that and Ben's going to freak out that she's baby crazy and break up with her just like Steve did when she accidentally told him that she'd always wanted to have a daughter named Eleanor -- she didn't even mean she wanted to have Eleanor with STEVE, but did he see it that way, no, he did not -- and then everything will be the worst and she'll be alone and her campaign will be over and she'll have nothing and --
"Are you okay?" Ben says, out of nowhere, like he can read her thoughts.
"What?" Leslie says. Crap, he can't actually read her thoughts, can he? "Um, why?"
"You're twitching," Ben says, and he reaches out and puts his hand on her knee, which she just now notices has been bouncing up and down nervously for God knows how long. She makes herself hold still, but Ben leaves his hand there anyway, which feels nice.
"Oh," Leslie says, trying to laugh casually, like someone without a care in the world. Judging from Ben's alarmed look, it came off more scary than anything, though. Whoops. Ugh, what is even the point of trying to be casual, this is a disaster. "God, Ben," she says, and then suddenly everything's pouring of her in a rush. "I'm so sorry about this Joan Callamezzo thing, it's going to be awful, and if it wasn't for me you wouldn't be in this mess, I shouldn't be running for office at all, probably, it's just a bad idea, and you don't have to come on Pawnee Today if you don't want to, I totally understand if you want out and I --"
"Leslie," Ben interrupts her, looking really confused. "Hey. Hey, calm down, it's all fine. We knew this was going to come out if we got back together, and we decided to do it anyway. We'll get through it together. It's nothing to be upset about."
Leslie swallows. "It isn't?"
"Of course not," Ben says. He reaches out and grabs her hand, squeezing it for a second. She squeezes back, smiling at him tentatively, and he lifts her hand up to his mouth to kiss the back of it. Ugh, stupid perfect Ben.
She really just wants to make out with him right now, but she better warn him about all the horrible things William and Elizabeth are going to say while she's thinking about it. "Um," she says. "Just to brace you for our meeting about the interview tomorrow. Uh, William and Elizabeth might want us to talk about, uh, like if we're going to have kids and things like that --" Ben's eyes widen a little bit and she gets panicky, talking even faster. "I know! I know, it's way too soon for all that. I'm sorry, it's so awkward. I just wanted you to know so you wouldn't be surprised." Oh God, she has to let him know that she's not pushing for any of this, she is not taking this too seriously, she knows it's all pretend! "I mean, I, um, think it's crazy too, I can't believe this fake wedding means we have to talk about dumb stuff like that."
Ben's face has gone all still and unreadable. "Right," he says. "Yeah."
"Believe me," Leslie says. "That stuff is all way in the future."
Ben is not looking as relieved as she thought he would, oh God, does he still think she wants to have his babies immediately? "I mean," she says, just to be absolutely, perfectly clear. "We're still just dating. I totally understand that this isn't a real marriage."
Ben clears his throat. "Right, of course," he says. "Yeah, uh, me too. Totally fake."
He doesn't exactly look like he's on the verge of breaking up with her, so mission accomplished, she guesses, but he doesn't look too good and Leslie feels crappier than she was anticipating from the whole conversation. Just... well, of course the marriage is fake. What was she expecting, Ben to correct her and say, no, it's actually real? He's already made himself really clear about that.
He still looks really weird, though, staring off into space like he's forgotten Leslie's there. "Hey," she says. "Um, are we okay?"
Ben blinks, brought back to earth, and after a second he smiles at her. "Of course," he says.
"And you're really okay with going on Pawnee Today for Joan to call us big sluts?"
Ben laughs. "It's always been a dream of mine to get called a slut on local access TV."
"We should really prepare for the worst," Leslie says, taking the spreadsheet out of Ben's hands and laying it down with her files. Ben leans back gamely and Leslie climbs onto his lap, running her hands along his shoulders, her fingers through his hair, still not used to the fact that no one's going to burst in and arrest them. She kind of wonders if she'll ever get used to it, or if she really wants to. "I mean, we know Joan's not afraid to hit below the belt, and she's going to see any hesitation as a sign of weakness."
Ben slides his hands up Leslie's back and smiles that cute sideways smile. "Yeah, but isn't that what the prep is for? To prepare us?"
Smartass. Leslie tugs on his hair and he pinches her hip to retaliate, then she flicks his earlobe with her thumb. "William and Elizabeth have been super helpful, but they haven't exactly dazzled me with their outside-the-box thinking. I doubt they have the imagination to keep up with Joan."
Ben pulls Leslie's blouse untucked and runs his hand across the small of her back. While Leslie's kissing the corner of his mouth, he murmurs, "You, on the other hand, are extremely imaginative. What kind of questions do you think Joan might have for me?"
Leslie scooches farther onto Ben's lap until their hips bump together and she can feel the bulge in his pants. "I think she'll probably ask what's your favorite thing about doing it with me." Ben laughs and Leslie kisses his smiling mouth. "Don't make light of the issues, Benjamin," she says. "Pawnee voters have a right to know."
"Hmmm," Ben says, making a big show of looking off into space, like he's thinking deeply. "My favorite thing about doing it with you?" He smiles a little wider, eyes bright and amused. "Everything?"
Leslie cackles. "Ben!" she says, hitting him on the shoulder. "C'mon, that's not an answer. If you highlight everything, you have actually emphasized nothing. That's very good advice Ron gave me once when I bought too many highlighters."
Ben laughs, starting to undo the buttons on her blouse, his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrates. Luckily since it's Friday she's wearing her sexy black bra. "I love when you talk dirty to me about office supplies," he says.
"Joan's not going to let you dodge the question like that," Leslie says sternly, wiggling around a little on his lap as his fingertips brush her bare skin.
Ben leans in to kiss her collarbone, and she can feel him smiling against her skin. "Joan plays hardball," he says. Then, in a lower tone, more intimate and serious, "I like going down on you."
Leslie shivers involuntarily, remembering the last time he did that. "Ugh, you're such a suck up," she says, trying to play it off, but her voice comes out a little low herself, not the jokey way she means it to.
Ben smiles up at her, his eyes dark and a little bit smug, and he pushes her blouse off her shoulders. "Does Joan think I'm lying?"
He is wearing entirely too many clothes, is what Joan thinks. Leslie starts unbuttoning his shirt. "No," she says, trying to keep her dignity. "I suppose Joan will accept that answer."
Ben grins at her. "You know what I think Joan will ask you?" he says, cupping her breast thoughtfully over her bra.
"What?" Leslie says. She's gotten enough buttons undone that he should be able to just pull the shirt off over his head, and she starts to go for it. Ben lifts his arms to help.
"When," he says, his voice muffled as the shirt covers his face, "did you realize you wanted to ravish your boss?"
Leslie gets the shirt all the way off right then, revealing Ben with his hair sticking up and his eyes bright, looking younger than he does when he's more put-together. She twists her fingers through the wiry hair on his chest and sighs. "The first time I saw him chopping wood. Flannel hugging his biceps in the crisp autumn air. God, it was glorious."
Ben groans and sinks backwards until he's lying on the rug and Leslie's straddling him. She leans down close until their noses almost touch and her hair falls around their faces.
"Oh, no, Joan meant you, didn't she?" she teases, widening her eyes. "She should really be more specific, I had no way of knowing!"
His body all lax in protest, Ben starts to roll his eyes, then grabs Leslie's ass suddenly with one hand and heaves them over on the rug, pressing her down on the floor and hiking her legs around his waist roughly. He catches her in a hard, dizzying kiss and runs his hands up her body to squeeze her breasts, grinding his hips against her just the right way to make her gasp, and when he leans back, Leslie would be hard-pressed to remember the name of the current President of the United States, let alone the Director of the Parks Department.
"Did that help clear things up?" Ben asks, smirking, reaching under Leslie's back to get her bra unhooked.
"Yeah, that, um." Leslie licks her lips, staring at Ben's stupid mouth. "Wait, what was the question?"
Ben thumbs Leslie's nipples in slow circles, then starts rolling them between his fingers, and he leans down to kiss the tops of Leslie's breasts before he looks up at her face. "When did you realize you wanted me, Leslie?"
Ugh, besides right now, this minute, and all the time forever? "When you told me how hard you were working to prove you were a responsible grown-up. You sounded so sad, and I wanted to do some very irresponsible things to cheer you up."
Ben blinks a few times, making his most surprised face. "Really," he says. "Huh."
He sounds really dubious, but what's so weird about that? "What, does Joan think I'm lying?"
"No," Ben says, still looking taken aback. "Just -- are you sure? That was really early. That was like the second day I was in Pawnee, practically."
"Yeah," Leslie says, still not getting what the weird part is. Wait, did he not want to do stuff to her until way later? "Why, when did you realize you wanted me?"
After a second Ben looks sheepish. "Yeah, okay," he says. "Probably when you told me you talked to everyone at April's birthday party and they all wanted me to leave."
"Really?" Leslie says, laughing despite herself. "Oh my God, I said that? That's so mean."
Ben shrugs. "You're cute when you're drunk," he says, and leans down to take her nipple into his mouth.
God, he is good with his stupid tongue. Leslie slides her hands into his hair -- ugh, and he has such good hair, she's always wanting to run her fingers through it at inappropriate times during the work day -- and tries to retain cognitive function. Thinking about Ben liking her way back then.
Ben comes back up to kiss her again, and she grinds her hips into his, so he groans. He's hard against her leg. "This was a good interview," Leslie says, a little breathless as Ben starts kissing down her neck. "Joan might be a little scandalized if we do this part in her studio, though."
"Joan doesn't like topless interviews?" Ben says.
Leslie laughs, low, and reaches between them for the button on his fly. "Yeah, and she should probably really leave for the next part," she says, brushing against his cock before she starts to undo it.
"Fuck," Ben gasps as she touches him. "Yeah, let's stop talking about Joan." He lifts his hips to help her get his pants undone, and then reaches for hers, slipping his hand under her waistband without even bothering with the fly.
"Ben," she says as he slides it into her underwear, slipping over her folds. God, that always feels so good. He dips his fingertip into her, teasing, and she grabs at his back. "God," she says, somehow still thinking about Joan, about the big sex scandal brewing, about people thinking that she slept with Ben to help her career, about everyone knowing about them. It's awful but it's kind of a little bit hot, too. Everyone knowing that Ben wants her badly enough to risk his career. "You know. Everyone in town knows you're doing this to me."
Startled, Ben pulls back to stare at her -- oh god, that was probably too dirty, oh god, take it back -- but then before she can freak out too badly he smiles, that glint in his eye he gets when they play Biden and Pelosi.
"You like that, huh?" Ben says, slipping in a second finger, making Leslie gasp and squirm. "Everyone knows we broke the rules. Everyone knows we tried to stop but we couldn't, because we're just too good together."
He leans down and kisses her neck, sweeping his tongue over her skin, using his teeth just hard enough to leave a mark, curling his fingers at the same time against that good place inside her, and Leslie sucks in a breath.
"Someone's going to see!" she says, aiming for a protest, but it comes out breathy and excited, and her hips push up against Ben's hand all by themselves.
Ben eases up immediately but Leslie can still feel the tender spot on her throat where it must be all pinked up from his mouth, where it might turn red, might let everyone know Ben was kissing her, but they won't know he had his fingers inside her at the same time, they won't know how eagerly Leslie arched her hips and wrestled down her fly so she could shove her pants off and pull Ben down to her, they won't know how amazing that first deep push inside felt, how it always feels, Ben's shocked shaky breath against her lips like he'll never get used to this either.
They won't know any of that, and frankly it's none of their business. Leslie's done feeling guilty for wanting to share a connection with another person. Sure, maybe she and Ben will mess it up for themselves somehow, someday, but she's not going to let anyone else take that chance away from them, not Chris, not Joan, not anyone.
"Hey," Ben murmurs against Leslie's cheek, gently bringing her out of her reverie. "You with me?"
Leslie reaches up and cups Ben's face in her hands, looking into his eyes, getting back to that place where nothing else matters, where there's just Ben and how he makes her feel. "Of course I am," she says, and Ben kisses her, and it's perfect.
At least in this sex scandal, Leslie finally gets to enjoy the actual sex part.
**
TBC