A hot gust of wind and a beautiful vision
So, Damian Lewis marathon post part two! Or, Crazytown, Population: ME. If you missed it and against all the odds you care, part one. COMMENTARY AND A FILIBUSTER OF SCREENSHOTS FOLLOW.
The Baker -- This is a low-budget movie written and directed by Damian Lewis's brother, so I was fully prepared for it to be terrible, but it was completely delightful! Funny and charming and very British, and I really, really thoroughly enjoyed it. Also, I would like to know what kind of black magic the lighting specialist/cinematographer was using, because a certain person's red hair was certainly extra luminous.
(I had vowed not to use the word luminous in any of these posts, but fuck it, IT'S JUST TRUE. LOOK AT HIM.)
Anyway, it gets silly towards the end, but otherwise it's pretty awesome. DLew plays a hitman who just wants to quit killing people and fall in love and have babies and bake, and there are villager antics in Wales, and what I thought was just me being slashy actually turned canonical when his hitman rival dude totally has a thing for him (Bjorn: "Do you know how long I waited for you on that bridge in Amsterdam, in the pouring rain, watching the barges float past? Hours! I thought that finally I'd found something good. Something real." DLew: "Bjorn, we've been through this. I think you're an interesting guy, with a lot of really fun instincts, but... what you want is not possible for so many reasons. And as for Amsterdam, I'm not really sure..." Bjorn: "FORGET IT."). So that was cool. A+++, would watch again. And have. Let's say a few times. I don't know why he doesn't play your traditional romantic heroes more often, SOME OF US ENJOY IT.
An Unfinished Life -- I'm including this one in the interest of completeness, but DLew's only in it for like 8 minutes, he plays Jennifer Lopez's abusive boyfriend... and that's really all that needs to be said about that. Though I do have to say, watching this movie on fastforwarded TiVo is kind of hilarious, because the plot, from what I could tell, seemed to be about cowboys Morgan Freeman and Robert Redford having a gay affair. So.
Dreamcatcher -- Pros: Super slashy. Cons: Possibly the worst movie ever made? Like, the plot revolves around aliens... that explode out of people's butts. Let me say that again. Aliens. That explode. Out. Of people's butts. One alien has a remarkable resemblance to a penis with teeth. As it snuck up on a dude as he was peeing, I was like, surely it's not going to... oh, okay, it is. It's biting his dick off. That's awesome. I just -- I just don't know, you guys. And given the context of the scene, if they were trying to portray gay panic through penis monsters, well, it was pretty uncomfortably textual.
Plus, DLew wasn't even that hot, and he chewed a LOT of scenery, so what's the point of that? He had a beard and was a professor who went around wearing a tie with jeans, like Mr. Rosso in Freaks and Geeks. Lame. Two thumbs way down.
Colditz -- I totally enjoyed Colditz, but that might've just been because I watched it right after Dreamcatcher and nobody's asses exploded in this one. Colditz is a movie I think of as, The One In Which DLew Plays a Scottish Soldier Who Doesn't Give a Shit About World War II. Also as, The One In Which Jason Priestley Plays a Morphine Addicted Canadian with a Pornstache. Awesome.
There are James Bond-y gadget shenanigans that are pretty funny, and there's an inexplicable Epic Love Story (they keep, like, making out in front of fireworks, but the whole time he's only with her because he lied and told her her fiance was dead? Also he totally gets killed at the end because he was a terrible person? [Spoiler alert] Are we really supposed to be on his side on this one, movie? Also, always keeping it classy, DLew, niiice.)
Overall, though, rollicking good fun. I think. I don't actually really remember most of it that clearly, agate was visiting and we were drinking, what can I say.
Hearts and Bones -- Hearts and Booooooooooones. I keep putting off posting this post because I can't at all talk about this British TV series in a sane way. Every time I start I end up in a black hole of "LOOK AT HIM" and "MAAAARRRRRK" and "MICHAEL/AMAAAAAAANDA." But hokay, here goes.
This is a TV show from 2001 that's basically a British 30-something, with a group of friends centering around DLew's character, Mark Rose, with soap-opera-y plots about how his wife wants to do it with his brother, etc, etc. It was towards the end of our marathon, so we were sure it would be horrible, but... oh God. It was so good, you guys. Me and agate watched the whole first series, 7 episodes, in one awesome night, even though she had to go to work the next day. And I would say that its awesomeness is just me not having a proportionate response, because DLew is smoking hot and also plays a charming regular guy rather than his normal rapist/adulterer/schizophrenic/beponytailed polygamist -- HOWEVER. The third episode was all about this random girl I did not even care about and how her mother is dying, and DLew was barely in that episode, and even so it was one of the most engaging hours of television I've ever seen -- I was totally riveted and I cried at the end. SO. GOOD WORK, HEARTS AND BONES?
The soap-opera-y plots made me think it was going to be about wretches being wretched, especially DLew's girlfriend/wife, who I initially HATED, but they do all the plots with a lot of, like, emotional honesty? Or something? Because by the end of the first series I loved EVERYONE, unexpectedly, and I really really hardcore shipped Michael/Amanda (NEITHER OF WHOM IS PLAYED BY DLEW) to the degree that I wanted to push their characters together and make kissing noises. Like, I actually ended up watching series 2 even though DLew wasn't in it (he'd run off to make Band of Brothers) because I really wanted to know what would happen. TRUE STORY. The only bad thing about it is that I want SO MUCH FIC, but no one has ever seen it so my wants will go unfulfilled, especially since yuletide won't open their goddamn nominations already. I want Michael/AMANDA, and Mark/Rich incest fic, and Mark/MICHAEL, and Mark/Sinead a little bit, and ahhhhh, you guys, it's just a really good show okay.
Also, his hair is so RED. Also there's another redheaded character and when the two of them are in the same shot it's like staring into the sun, in an awesome way. Also, they dress him in REALLY NICE SHADES OF GREEN a lot. Also, there is a LOT of domestic intimacy and toothbrushing and states of partial undress. Lalala WHAT NOTHING.
(SERIOUSLY, LOOK AT HIM IN THAT GREEN SHIRT.)
Brides -- Ohhhhh, this Greek movie is inexplicable. The plot is that DLew is a photographer traveling from Europe to America on a boat with a ton of mail-order brides. He falls in love with one of them even though he's married. There are shenanigans. Then her hair turns white overnight (?????????????). Then you, the viewer, laughs forever? I don't know, it was super weird. Also, we had to get subtitles for the Greek parts from some Dutch website... I don't know, you guys, a lot of things happened this summer.
On the plus side, DLew is hot. On the minus side, he seems to have made the choice to give his character a high-pitched weenie voice. I mean, his character IS a weenie, so it's accurate, but HAHA the whole thing is ridic. I mean, at one point, pictured below, he gets into a slap-fight with an old Russian. GOOD TIMES.
The Forsyte Saga, Part II -- Hey, remember how I hated the first series of The Forsyte Saga? Take all my loathing for that and REVERSE IT, that's how I feel about series 2. IT IS SO GOOD, YOU GUYS. It's all about redemption, and families being haunted by the past, and coming to a place of forgiveness and reconciliation, and the last ten minutes basically BROKE MY HEART. Damian Lewis is fucking amazing in it, and I found the story actually incredibly moving and meaningful. It's like all the pain and wretchery of the first one was necessary so that the redemption of the second one would be that much more awesome, almost as though that was the point of the story all along. I didn't think there was ANY WAY someone could transform the suckery of series 1, or make me not loathe it, but THIS ACTUALLY DID. I am sort of in awe of it. For real, watch it, I cannot emphasize this enough.
Warriors -- Because Damian Lewis apparently aspires to star in a miniseries about every war ever in the history of mankind (see also, Band of Brothers. Colditz. The Situation), this one is about UN peacekeepers in Bosnia. Coming soon: DLew as Francis Scott Key in The War of 1812. After that, DLew as Henry VI in the War of the Roses. Then, DLew as Darius I in the Battle of Marathon. Sweet merciful Zeus.
This is another one of those lame NPR movies that's about how UN peacekeeping missions were impossible with a nebulous goal and only managed to traumatize soldiers for little to no gain. Yup, we know! Thanks, though! Also, this movie is pretty early in DLew's career, so he doesn't have that big a role and the camera keeps PANNING PAST HIM in the most frustrating manner. I must've said, HEY, GO BACK, at least twice a minute.
Weirdly, however, Bosinney (Ioan Gruffudd) from the Forsyte Saga, who we HATE, was the lead (apparently there are only about 10 actors in Britain, because in the course of this marathon I have seen them ALL, A LOT, IN MANY ROLES), and... well. Here are some chat excerpts, with timestamps. Our feelings had a progression.
7:23 PM
annakovsky: this movie appears to start slow, huh
agate: so far there has been no red hair
annakovsky: not a single strand
booooooooored
7:37 PM
agate: EVERYONE SUCKS IN THIS
annakovsky: ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE
no wonder Bosinney's in it
agate: hahaha
he specializes in sucking
annakovsky: It's his area of expertise
The Architecture of Suck
agate: seriously, for all I know Ioan Gruffudd is a perfectly okay person, but I just hate him is all
annakovsky: hahahahaha. Well, it's his stupid face and how it sucks
also, he sucked in that one interview
agate: his head and his ways
7:49 PM
annakovsky: Hmm, Bosinney's a lot manlier in this
agate: Hahahaha. Way to de-weenify, Gruffudd
annakovsky: hahahaha, seriously
he's almost attractive with his hair like that
it's unsettling
agate: hahahaha
"almost"
y-yeah, he isn't bad
it IS unsettling
annakovsky: ISN'T IT?
he seems tall, also? yeesh.
stop it at once, Bosinney
agate: Bosinney, NARROW YOUR SHOULDERS AT ONCE. THEY ARE TOO BROAD
7:54 PM
annakovsky: that blue helmet makes Bosinney look like a weenie
agate: hahahaha
annakovsky: ahhhhh I don't like kicking mines
agate: m-me neither
annakovsky: maybe Bosinney'll lose a foot
7:56 PM
annakovsky: god, why is Bosinney being hot??
agate: I know, I'm getting a little agitated
annakovsky: ME TOO
I hate it. And like it. It's confusing
agate: he's all kind of intense and competent and not whiny
8:38 PM
annakovsky: is it weird that I kind of want Bosinney to get mildly injured for some h/c?
agate: Hahahahaha
annakovsky: I'm just saying, where is the "Quit looking at me like that"?
agate: GOD, FOR REAL
I could go for DLew right now but I would settle for Bosinney
annakovsky: hahaha. God. SERIOUSLY.
agate: JUST, WORK WITH ME, SHOW
annakovsky: THAT IS WHAT THIS HAS BROUGHT US TO
8:58 PM
agate: Bosinney likes this townie lady
annakovsky: haha, he really does
HOTsinney
... er.
agate: HEEEE
I'm not going to argue
9:38 PM
agate: I wish Ioan had also been in his undershirt
I mean
annakovsky: GOD, ME TOO, NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT
10:29 PM
agate: uh, what is Bosinney doing with that gun
annakovsky: oh dear
agate: OKAY I AM NOT COOL WITH THIS
annakovsky: Bosinney, DLew still loves you! Don't do anything drastic!
agate: BOSINNEY YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR
THINK OF YOUR REDHEADED BOYFRIEND
annakovsky: AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL HAIR
I mean, what
agate: HEEEE
NOOOOO
annakovsky: YUGOSLAVIA IS NOT WORTH IT MAN
agate: this really cannot happen
:((((((
annakovsky: I'm going to be SO MAD if he really does this
okay, seriously
stop
stop
stop
stop
stop
agate: oh, okay, someone came in
phew
annakovsky: PHEW
agate: Hahahahaha, remember when we used to ship Bosinney/Death?
how times have changed
annakovsky: HEEEEEE
remember how psyched we were when he got run over by a carriage?
So... that was quite an experience.
Other issues of note in this miniseries other than the hotness of Ioan Gruffudd, were: 1) Why do the British dress their soldiers in bright blue helmets and/or BERETS? I don't understand what that military spends its money on. 2) For a change of pace, in this one DLew is the cheater, not the cheatEE. Red hair sure means adultery, that's what I've learned from his films. 3) As is usual in war, DLew has a soldier boyfriend. Hey, when you're running around with a gun, you need SOMEONE'S mouth to stare at. 4) Everyone in this has military haircuts except DLew, whose hair is TEN FEET HIGH. Oh, 1999. I can only assume that the hair department couldn't bear to touch that glorious redheadery. (OH WHAT. YOU CLICKED THE CUTTAG, YOU KNEW WHAT I WAS GOING TO BE TALKING ABOUT.)
Screencaps:
Below is a scene wherein DLew comes back to the house with the lady he is going to cheat on his fiancee with, and his boyfriend Bosinney is VERY VERY UPSET ABOUT IT, in a way that does not seem proportionate. I'm just saying. When I get bored I slash. Also this is pretty textual.
AND WE HAVE COME TO THE END. Hahaha, I bet nobody read all that nonsense.
The Baker -- This is a low-budget movie written and directed by Damian Lewis's brother, so I was fully prepared for it to be terrible, but it was completely delightful! Funny and charming and very British, and I really, really thoroughly enjoyed it. Also, I would like to know what kind of black magic the lighting specialist/cinematographer was using, because a certain person's red hair was certainly extra luminous.
(I had vowed not to use the word luminous in any of these posts, but fuck it, IT'S JUST TRUE. LOOK AT HIM.)
Anyway, it gets silly towards the end, but otherwise it's pretty awesome. DLew plays a hitman who just wants to quit killing people and fall in love and have babies and bake, and there are villager antics in Wales, and what I thought was just me being slashy actually turned canonical when his hitman rival dude totally has a thing for him (Bjorn: "Do you know how long I waited for you on that bridge in Amsterdam, in the pouring rain, watching the barges float past? Hours! I thought that finally I'd found something good. Something real." DLew: "Bjorn, we've been through this. I think you're an interesting guy, with a lot of really fun instincts, but... what you want is not possible for so many reasons. And as for Amsterdam, I'm not really sure..." Bjorn: "FORGET IT."). So that was cool. A+++, would watch again. And have. Let's say a few times. I don't know why he doesn't play your traditional romantic heroes more often, SOME OF US ENJOY IT.
An Unfinished Life -- I'm including this one in the interest of completeness, but DLew's only in it for like 8 minutes, he plays Jennifer Lopez's abusive boyfriend... and that's really all that needs to be said about that. Though I do have to say, watching this movie on fastforwarded TiVo is kind of hilarious, because the plot, from what I could tell, seemed to be about cowboys Morgan Freeman and Robert Redford having a gay affair. So.
Dreamcatcher -- Pros: Super slashy. Cons: Possibly the worst movie ever made? Like, the plot revolves around aliens... that explode out of people's butts. Let me say that again. Aliens. That explode. Out. Of people's butts. One alien has a remarkable resemblance to a penis with teeth. As it snuck up on a dude as he was peeing, I was like, surely it's not going to... oh, okay, it is. It's biting his dick off. That's awesome. I just -- I just don't know, you guys. And given the context of the scene, if they were trying to portray gay panic through penis monsters, well, it was pretty uncomfortably textual.
Plus, DLew wasn't even that hot, and he chewed a LOT of scenery, so what's the point of that? He had a beard and was a professor who went around wearing a tie with jeans, like Mr. Rosso in Freaks and Geeks. Lame. Two thumbs way down.
Colditz -- I totally enjoyed Colditz, but that might've just been because I watched it right after Dreamcatcher and nobody's asses exploded in this one. Colditz is a movie I think of as, The One In Which DLew Plays a Scottish Soldier Who Doesn't Give a Shit About World War II. Also as, The One In Which Jason Priestley Plays a Morphine Addicted Canadian with a Pornstache. Awesome.
There are James Bond-y gadget shenanigans that are pretty funny, and there's an inexplicable Epic Love Story (they keep, like, making out in front of fireworks, but the whole time he's only with her because he lied and told her her fiance was dead? Also he totally gets killed at the end because he was a terrible person? [Spoiler alert] Are we really supposed to be on his side on this one, movie? Also, always keeping it classy, DLew, niiice.)
Overall, though, rollicking good fun. I think. I don't actually really remember most of it that clearly, agate was visiting and we were drinking, what can I say.
Hearts and Bones -- Hearts and Booooooooooones. I keep putting off posting this post because I can't at all talk about this British TV series in a sane way. Every time I start I end up in a black hole of "LOOK AT HIM" and "MAAAARRRRRK" and "MICHAEL/AMAAAAAAANDA." But hokay, here goes.
This is a TV show from 2001 that's basically a British 30-something, with a group of friends centering around DLew's character, Mark Rose, with soap-opera-y plots about how his wife wants to do it with his brother, etc, etc. It was towards the end of our marathon, so we were sure it would be horrible, but... oh God. It was so good, you guys. Me and agate watched the whole first series, 7 episodes, in one awesome night, even though she had to go to work the next day. And I would say that its awesomeness is just me not having a proportionate response, because DLew is smoking hot and also plays a charming regular guy rather than his normal rapist/adulterer/schizophrenic/beponytailed polygamist -- HOWEVER. The third episode was all about this random girl I did not even care about and how her mother is dying, and DLew was barely in that episode, and even so it was one of the most engaging hours of television I've ever seen -- I was totally riveted and I cried at the end. SO. GOOD WORK, HEARTS AND BONES?
The soap-opera-y plots made me think it was going to be about wretches being wretched, especially DLew's girlfriend/wife, who I initially HATED, but they do all the plots with a lot of, like, emotional honesty? Or something? Because by the end of the first series I loved EVERYONE, unexpectedly, and I really really hardcore shipped Michael/Amanda (NEITHER OF WHOM IS PLAYED BY DLEW) to the degree that I wanted to push their characters together and make kissing noises. Like, I actually ended up watching series 2 even though DLew wasn't in it (he'd run off to make Band of Brothers) because I really wanted to know what would happen. TRUE STORY. The only bad thing about it is that I want SO MUCH FIC, but no one has ever seen it so my wants will go unfulfilled, especially since yuletide won't open their goddamn nominations already. I want Michael/AMANDA, and Mark/Rich incest fic, and Mark/MICHAEL, and Mark/Sinead a little bit, and ahhhhh, you guys, it's just a really good show okay.
Also, his hair is so RED. Also there's another redheaded character and when the two of them are in the same shot it's like staring into the sun, in an awesome way. Also, they dress him in REALLY NICE SHADES OF GREEN a lot. Also, there is a LOT of domestic intimacy and toothbrushing and states of partial undress. Lalala WHAT NOTHING.
(SERIOUSLY, LOOK AT HIM IN THAT GREEN SHIRT.)
Brides -- Ohhhhh, this Greek movie is inexplicable. The plot is that DLew is a photographer traveling from Europe to America on a boat with a ton of mail-order brides. He falls in love with one of them even though he's married. There are shenanigans. Then her hair turns white overnight (?????????????). Then you, the viewer, laughs forever? I don't know, it was super weird. Also, we had to get subtitles for the Greek parts from some Dutch website... I don't know, you guys, a lot of things happened this summer.
On the plus side, DLew is hot. On the minus side, he seems to have made the choice to give his character a high-pitched weenie voice. I mean, his character IS a weenie, so it's accurate, but HAHA the whole thing is ridic. I mean, at one point, pictured below, he gets into a slap-fight with an old Russian. GOOD TIMES.
The Forsyte Saga, Part II -- Hey, remember how I hated the first series of The Forsyte Saga? Take all my loathing for that and REVERSE IT, that's how I feel about series 2. IT IS SO GOOD, YOU GUYS. It's all about redemption, and families being haunted by the past, and coming to a place of forgiveness and reconciliation, and the last ten minutes basically BROKE MY HEART. Damian Lewis is fucking amazing in it, and I found the story actually incredibly moving and meaningful. It's like all the pain and wretchery of the first one was necessary so that the redemption of the second one would be that much more awesome, almost as though that was the point of the story all along. I didn't think there was ANY WAY someone could transform the suckery of series 1, or make me not loathe it, but THIS ACTUALLY DID. I am sort of in awe of it. For real, watch it, I cannot emphasize this enough.
Warriors -- Because Damian Lewis apparently aspires to star in a miniseries about every war ever in the history of mankind (see also, Band of Brothers. Colditz. The Situation), this one is about UN peacekeepers in Bosnia. Coming soon: DLew as Francis Scott Key in The War of 1812. After that, DLew as Henry VI in the War of the Roses. Then, DLew as Darius I in the Battle of Marathon. Sweet merciful Zeus.
This is another one of those lame NPR movies that's about how UN peacekeeping missions were impossible with a nebulous goal and only managed to traumatize soldiers for little to no gain. Yup, we know! Thanks, though! Also, this movie is pretty early in DLew's career, so he doesn't have that big a role and the camera keeps PANNING PAST HIM in the most frustrating manner. I must've said, HEY, GO BACK, at least twice a minute.
Weirdly, however, Bosinney (Ioan Gruffudd) from the Forsyte Saga, who we HATE, was the lead (apparently there are only about 10 actors in Britain, because in the course of this marathon I have seen them ALL, A LOT, IN MANY ROLES), and... well. Here are some chat excerpts, with timestamps. Our feelings had a progression.
7:23 PM
annakovsky: this movie appears to start slow, huh
agate: so far there has been no red hair
annakovsky: not a single strand
booooooooored
7:37 PM
agate: EVERYONE SUCKS IN THIS
annakovsky: ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE
no wonder Bosinney's in it
agate: hahaha
he specializes in sucking
annakovsky: It's his area of expertise
The Architecture of Suck
agate: seriously, for all I know Ioan Gruffudd is a perfectly okay person, but I just hate him is all
annakovsky: hahahahaha. Well, it's his stupid face and how it sucks
also, he sucked in that one interview
agate: his head and his ways
7:49 PM
annakovsky: Hmm, Bosinney's a lot manlier in this
agate: Hahahaha. Way to de-weenify, Gruffudd
annakovsky: hahahaha, seriously
he's almost attractive with his hair like that
it's unsettling
agate: hahahaha
"almost"
y-yeah, he isn't bad
it IS unsettling
annakovsky: ISN'T IT?
he seems tall, also? yeesh.
stop it at once, Bosinney
agate: Bosinney, NARROW YOUR SHOULDERS AT ONCE. THEY ARE TOO BROAD
7:54 PM
annakovsky: that blue helmet makes Bosinney look like a weenie
agate: hahahaha
annakovsky: ahhhhh I don't like kicking mines
agate: m-me neither
annakovsky: maybe Bosinney'll lose a foot
7:56 PM
annakovsky: god, why is Bosinney being hot??
agate: I know, I'm getting a little agitated
annakovsky: ME TOO
I hate it. And like it. It's confusing
agate: he's all kind of intense and competent and not whiny
8:38 PM
annakovsky: is it weird that I kind of want Bosinney to get mildly injured for some h/c?
agate: Hahahahaha
annakovsky: I'm just saying, where is the "Quit looking at me like that"?
agate: GOD, FOR REAL
I could go for DLew right now but I would settle for Bosinney
annakovsky: hahaha. God. SERIOUSLY.
agate: JUST, WORK WITH ME, SHOW
annakovsky: THAT IS WHAT THIS HAS BROUGHT US TO
8:58 PM
agate: Bosinney likes this townie lady
annakovsky: haha, he really does
HOTsinney
... er.
agate: HEEEE
I'm not going to argue
9:38 PM
agate: I wish Ioan had also been in his undershirt
I mean
annakovsky: GOD, ME TOO, NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT
10:29 PM
agate: uh, what is Bosinney doing with that gun
annakovsky: oh dear
agate: OKAY I AM NOT COOL WITH THIS
annakovsky: Bosinney, DLew still loves you! Don't do anything drastic!
agate: BOSINNEY YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR
THINK OF YOUR REDHEADED BOYFRIEND
annakovsky: AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL HAIR
I mean, what
agate: HEEEE
NOOOOO
annakovsky: YUGOSLAVIA IS NOT WORTH IT MAN
agate: this really cannot happen
:((((((
annakovsky: I'm going to be SO MAD if he really does this
okay, seriously
stop
stop
stop
stop
stop
agate: oh, okay, someone came in
phew
annakovsky: PHEW
agate: Hahahahaha, remember when we used to ship Bosinney/Death?
how times have changed
annakovsky: HEEEEEE
remember how psyched we were when he got run over by a carriage?
So... that was quite an experience.
Other issues of note in this miniseries other than the hotness of Ioan Gruffudd, were: 1) Why do the British dress their soldiers in bright blue helmets and/or BERETS? I don't understand what that military spends its money on. 2) For a change of pace, in this one DLew is the cheater, not the cheatEE. Red hair sure means adultery, that's what I've learned from his films. 3) As is usual in war, DLew has a soldier boyfriend. Hey, when you're running around with a gun, you need SOMEONE'S mouth to stare at. 4) Everyone in this has military haircuts except DLew, whose hair is TEN FEET HIGH. Oh, 1999. I can only assume that the hair department couldn't bear to touch that glorious redheadery. (OH WHAT. YOU CLICKED THE CUTTAG, YOU KNEW WHAT I WAS GOING TO BE TALKING ABOUT.)
Screencaps:
Below is a scene wherein DLew comes back to the house with the lady he is going to cheat on his fiancee with, and his boyfriend Bosinney is VERY VERY UPSET ABOUT IT, in a way that does not seem proportionate. I'm just saying. When I get bored I slash. Also this is pretty textual.
AND WE HAVE COME TO THE END. Hahaha, I bet nobody read all that nonsense.