Oh my goodness, Mr. Tusks! Are you the MAYOR of Tiny Towne?

[annakovsky]

Today on email, somehow we got around to talking about Tiny JKras, a fully grown yet tiny John Krasinski who just happened to have evolved on an island, a la Mr. Tusks. (There was context for this, but that context is ultimately unimportant.) And it turns out that a tiny version of JKras is the most delightful JKras I can think of. Here are some facts about Tiny JKras, courtesy of moireach, miss_bennie, agate and myself:

• He has to use both hands and all his weight to skip tracks on his iPod!!
• He has to special order his teeny, tiny cardigans. The buttons are like pinpoints! The piping is like thread!
• Whenever he was being too spazzy when he was dating Rashida she'd just shut him up in the breadbox until he stopped telling stories about lawn darts.
• When that girl put her finger in his mouth, he had to open REAL WIDE.
• When he was an intern, Tiny JKras was almost stepped on by Conan in the elevator. He ended up huddling in the corner and yelling "four, please" in his tiny voice. 
• Conan called him "my little man" all the time, which Tiny JKras wasn't really into. He intended to tell Conan that when he went on the show as a guest, but instead he just did a little jig on Conan's desk, next to his coffee mug.
• Tiny JKras wrote a fan letter to Robin Williams when he was ten. The pencil was taller than he was, and he had to hold it in both arms, like it was a tree. It took all his strength to write the word "genius."
• When Tiny JKras directed "Brief Interviews," at times he actually had to crawl inside the camera to get the correct shot. Sometimes he even used the book as a mattress at night, dog earing a page for a pillow, in order to fully immerse himself in his serious, serious work. 
• When Tiny JKras has to do a scene with Steve Carell his teeny tiny little eyes shimmer with tears of laughter!
• When Jenna calls Tiny JKras to tell him how excellent his acting was in a scene, he has to jump on his cell phone "talk" button to hear her compliments.
• When Tiny JKras plays Madden in his trailer, it's a very complicated dance that involves all of his limbs moving the controller. Madden for Tiny JKras = DDR for regular people not from Tiny Towne.
• The reason Tiny JKras looked so gay in those Gap ads is because he's actually 1/4th Pixie.
• Those pictures are actually teeny tiny, just blown up 1000 times. You can't see Tiny JKras's chest hair with the naked eye.

I'm so glad it's almost Thanksgiving break! In terms of things to be thankful for, here's one: boundbyspells wrote the HIMYM fic I've always been longing for in that fandom, Lily/Barney set while they're pretending to be married. Totally Pretend - highly, highly recommended.