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[annakey]

Hi, I'm not really good for anything still. The op seems to have been a great success but I am wreck. I was in intensive care 3 days and it's taken until today to get me out of bed and into a chair, but that took two people ages. Just got no strength and in a lot of pain. But today I ate a quarter of a round of toast and kept it down, which is

Comments

[sushidog]

Oh, you poor thing, that sounds wretched. But yay! for successful op; hopefully it all gets better from here on in?

[annakey]

Yes, they saved my womb and everything, and said my lymph nodes looked ok so hopefully this will be the end of it. It's great news it's just really knocked be for six. I didn't think it would be this bad.

[prophetsong]

This is all brilliant news but you know you're also still allowed to moan about how bad you feel right now, right? You've been through a massive physical trauma and it's not surprising it's knocked you for six! Still thinking of you and hoping you'll be reunited with your little man very soon xxx

[annakey]

Thank you duck. My expectations were off the mark. I signed up for an Enhanced Recovery Program where they get you meeting targets in half the time, eating, standing, etc. it sounded good when they were selling it to me but I've come nowhere near any of it and felt like I was flunking it or something. But it turns out there's mixed opinions about the program among the nurses and I think it's more to do with hosp or govt targets. I wish I hadn't signed up for it now. Xx

[prophetsong]

Unless they have a magic wand to assist with the accelerated recovery then it does sound a bit like a government ruse to clear beds more quickly. I can completely understand why you'd sign up for it though - the idea of moving forward through the grim bit is obviously appealing, just don't let it become a reason to beat yourself up. It's not a competetition or an exam and you're not failing. You're coping amazingly well (and still managing to be funny!!) very soon after a huge physical trauma and your body will heal at it's own speed. Take care and just shout if you need anything xx

[sushidog]

Well, for the record, I think you're absolutely amazing; you're facing stuff most of us only have nightmares about, and managing to stay optimistic throughout, while kicking cancer's arse. I guess the price of that is that the bad bits are unexpectedly bad, because you've been focusing on the bit where you get to walk away going "Hah! See, there's no keeping me down, take _THAT_!", rather than the bit just before that, where you've basically been hit by a bus.
Demand the very best of drugs, and hang on in there!

[annakey]

Thank you. I wish I could fast forward to next week or something. But you know, there's a ward for chemo in-patients upstairs from me who will be feeling this way and worse, possibly with no end in sight! Or for months until their break. I can't imagine what that must be like if I'm like this now. Knowing there's an end in sight and I'll be victorious like you say is a big big deal. Thank you x