Sex in the 2010s
My babysitter is 16 and making plans to lose her virginity. She and her best friend have got slightly different views about it. Her friend wants to get it over with with someone random so she knows what she's doing when she meets Mr Right. Babysitter wants hearts and flowers and rugs in front of open fires, violins, fireworks, champagne corks, etc.
I'm in what feels like a privileged position in that they feel safe talking to me about it and yet I haven't got a clue what to say. The responsibility, I feel it. People talk about the way they lost their virginity when they're 60, it's an event that stays with you forever. It's a big deal. But I don't want to seem hypocritical or out of touch and really, apart from the usual advice about staying safe and whatnot, what can you say? I've told them I wished I'd waited a bit longer but I'm not going to lie, I'd been at it a while already at their age. Erk.
Their expectations seem so mixed up anyway. It's not really about sex at all, it's just the milestone aspect and the shedding of something. Sometimes I'm not sure they fully appreciate what you have to do to lose your virginity. They forget that part. Although it's probably fairer to say it's not what you do it's what you 'let' someone do, at that age, when you're a girl.
Which makes me think of the 16 year old boys and their expectations formed from watching porn online and ugh, like it's not bad enough already. It must be brutal out there these days. Maybe it's just as scary for the lads. "In my day" the lads had seen maybe a few top shelf magazines or the odd glitchy VHS tape of their dad's. I'm guessing. You knew what went where but you hadn't seen it from all angles, detached and brutal and unreal. I wouldn't want to be 16 and losing it to a lad who had done his research online, put it that way.
I am ancient.
I'm in what feels like a privileged position in that they feel safe talking to me about it and yet I haven't got a clue what to say. The responsibility, I feel it. People talk about the way they lost their virginity when they're 60, it's an event that stays with you forever. It's a big deal. But I don't want to seem hypocritical or out of touch and really, apart from the usual advice about staying safe and whatnot, what can you say? I've told them I wished I'd waited a bit longer but I'm not going to lie, I'd been at it a while already at their age. Erk.
Their expectations seem so mixed up anyway. It's not really about sex at all, it's just the milestone aspect and the shedding of something. Sometimes I'm not sure they fully appreciate what you have to do to lose your virginity. They forget that part. Although it's probably fairer to say it's not what you do it's what you 'let' someone do, at that age, when you're a girl.
Which makes me think of the 16 year old boys and their expectations formed from watching porn online and ugh, like it's not bad enough already. It must be brutal out there these days. Maybe it's just as scary for the lads. "In my day" the lads had seen maybe a few top shelf magazines or the odd glitchy VHS tape of their dad's. I'm guessing. You knew what went where but you hadn't seen it from all angles, detached and brutal and unreal. I wouldn't want to be 16 and losing it to a lad who had done his research online, put it that way.
I am ancient.