I watched it so you wouldn't have to (even know what it is)
I still can't believe I made myself do it, but I can't deny it now: Over the weekend, I watched The Clique, the movie based on Lisi Harrison. What was I thinking? Well, in the spirit of total honesty, there is something about teen movies that I find intriguing. Hell, I watched Where The Boys Are, a 60s-era spring break movie, just a few days ago. Even sub-par movies made on the cheap will spark my interest (for the first few minutes or so, and then I usually switch back to USA for a Monk marathon). I know to expect the convoluted story, the bad acting, and the trying-too-hard "jokes," but that never stops me. There's something fascinating(ly wrong) about the way Hollywood likes to portray high school life. Of course, it's occasionally worth it if it's well-done and feels natural.
Feast your eyes, people. Hatwear, multiple layers, leather gloves, knee-highs, and wavy locks. These are the most stylish and sickeningly rich 12-year-olds at Octavian Country Day School. That's their leader, Massie, in the foreground. How can you tell she's their boss? Her dog is a pit bull. Or the leash represents her tight hold on her friends, constantly controlling where they go and what they do.
Ha, no. Symbolism in The Clique? Not likely.
To honor mock Massie's character-defining In/Out lists, I'm going to try a smilar format.
IN:
Parents who don't let their bitchy daughter walk all over them.
Claire, who's sweet and cute and vulnerable and will grow up to be gorgeous.
A healthy relationship between Claire and her mom, where they talk about Claire's changing attitude as she tries to fit in. (This doesn't really happen until later in the third act.)
Kristen, who reveals a secret that makes her way different from her friends.
Lainey (sp?), a girl at school who doesn't mind being an outcast. She has a cool voice. I'd hang out with her in a heartbeat.
Having an indoor pool.
Yoga class taught at school. Freaking awesome.
A lost-and-found that boasts last-season clothes from famous names. I'm not huge on clothes, but WANT.
A BFF who buys you stuff to constantly, and subtlely, ensure your undying loyalty. (Maybe not the most healthy thing, I have to admit.)
Having a good-hearted girl who wears Old Navy stop you from making a fool of yourself, even after you've done everything to make her feel like a perpetual outsider, Massie.
Learning to share your friends, Massie.
IN/OUT lists. These are kind of fun.
OUT:
Permanent bitchface - Massie.
Throwing tantrams over things like a group of people moving into the guesthouse that your parents own - Massie.
Immediately hating the new girl just because your Supreme Leader/rich BFF says so. (Okay, so most middle schoolers tend to do this. That doesn't make it any better.)
Lame pun-insults that you think are threatening, but actually sound like bad Leno quips - Massie.
Getting red paint on the new girl's white pants so it looks like she's got her period - Kristen.
Letting your already over-priveleged students get away with using their cell phones during class. Wise up, teachers of OCD.
Falling for a guy with Boy Meets World-era long hair - Massie.
Twelve-year-olds wearing designer bikinis. Kind of ew-inducing.
Saying "Cu-laire" - Massie.
Pronouncing "Oh, my God" like you're freakin' Carmen from South Park - Alicia.
Did I mention the bitchface? It really wasn't pretty. Massie.
Ditching your friends to meet up with a guy - Massie.
Pretending to be Massie on IM in order to sabotage her friendships. Not cool, Claire.
Ditching your new, much cooler friend to hang with the rich bitches for a sleepover. That the Mean Girl's mother invited you to. Give it a few years, Claire - you'll realize that Lainey, much like Damien and Janice, is the best friend you'll ever have.
Twelve-year-olds who diet. Even worse? When their mothers make them. Someone call child services on Dylan's mom.
Not knowing anything about characters' motivations. So, Massie lets Claire save the day why?
IN/OUT lists ... when you do them constantly, as if your life is so busy and important that you can't possibly keep track of what's cool and what's not without typing one up all the time.
If you read carefully, you might have picked up on who my least favorite character was (hint: she's right next to the pit bull). It wasn't as terrible as I thought - really a watered-down version of Mean Girls with really pretty clothes thrown in - and it was more or less on par with how tween girls act. When Massie wasn't around, sometimes the other three would have fun being with Claire, which helps back up Massie's claim that Claire is a threat to her Queen Bee status. I resented the implication that Massie is meant to be a sympathetic main character - the film begins with a scene in her room, and we're with her as she looks out her window at Claire's family as they arrive. The whole movie is about Massie and Claire, instead of just Claire - who's obviously the protagonist and the character the target audience is going to root for. My point is, just because I covet Massie's lifestyle doesn't mean I'll like her - or that I want to be like her.
This isn't meant to be a review, so I won't bother with a rating. You already know how I feel about at least one of these books. I guess I'll leave it at this: I keep thinking I could do something better with these characters, but obviously tween readers are happy with them as they are.