Peace off 2010!
Now that I’m back in New York (and what an odyssey that has been! But at least I missed the blizzard), I’m going through my Google Reader and taking a look at the “year in review” posts all the authors I follow have written and feel a bit compelled to write my own, especially since it’s my debut year.
Not to be a huge Debbie Downer, because that’s not how I’m feeling, but 2010 was a pretty difficult year for me. All Unquiet Things was released, which was a wonderful thing. Despite the way I’ve been feeling a bit lately after reading a few negative reviews (NOTE TO AUTHORS: DO NOT READ REVIEWS!), I’m extremely proud of that book. Off and on this year I’ve wondered if it was the right time for me to publish for the first time, but it’s like, I did it, it’s done, moving forward. There are pros and cons, but no matter what, I do love AUT and am happy that people have read and liked it so much! I appreciate all emails from fans and I try to respond to as many as I can-if you’ve written me and I haven’t responded, please write me again! It might just have gotten buried in my Gmail account under about a million discount newsletters.
There were two things that made this year hard for me. One was the very, very sad passing of my grandmother, who I love so much and miss every day. I got an email from my grandmother’s niece, who was very close with my grandmother, after she read AUT; she said that I captured the experience of grief in a very true way. I’m so glad she feels that way, and I hope that other people feel similarly because I was very much trying to show how people process grief differently, but I’m not sure I quite understood what it felt like to grieve for the death of a loved one until this year, and part of me wishes I had the opportunity to go back and re-edit AUT to reflect that, but obviously that’s impossible, and anyway I’m not sure I know what that experience is like from the other side yet so writing about it would be premature and futile.
The other thing that made the year hard was the disasterscript of book two (formerly known as MB). I was entirely lost throughout the five month process of editing it at the beginning of 2010, and then having to accept that it was just not going to get better (and was, in fact, getting WORSE) was a hard pill to swallow. But luckily I had another manuscript up my sleeve, which is receiving a favorable response from my readers and which I’m currently revising, but which is already in pretty good shape. I’m a bit nervous about moving on from here, because my contract will be over when I turn in Hallelujah and I’m interested in writing a bunch of different stuff but not sure exactly what to focus on or what is a good idea for a book and what is just an interesting idea in general. I have a feeling that, in addition to going through the publishing process with Hallelujah this year, the biggest focus for me in my writing career is figuring out where to go from here. Perhaps that’s why I didn’t get as much editing done over the break as I expected; maybe I have a bit of a mental block because I’m afraid to move on, but also anxious to move on, and not sure where that’s going to take me. I used to have a list of books in my head and the order in which I was planning to write them was pretty mcuh set; now that’s completely destroyed and I have to start mostly from scratch. Fun! But also: terrifying.
But a lot of great things happened in 2010, too! Alex Bracken and I became such close friends, and not only has she been a real support through these twelve long months, but also she’s given me the opportunity, through her AMAZING book BLACK IS THE COLOR, to read and contribute to something I really think is going to blow people away. I’m a neverending advocate for that book and cannot WAIT for someone to publish it. I know who I’m hoping the book goes to, but it’s not my decision and really I’ll relish any opportunity to walk into a bookstore and buy a zillion copies, one for every person I know.
I also got into the rhythm of my job; it’s honestly the best job I’ve ever had, and I work with some of the smartest, coolest, funniest people around. I feel blessed to work there and hope to have a really long career there.
So, 2010…a bit of an up and down year. But I’m hoping 2011 will be the beginning of a great period of time in my life and I’m looking forward to each new day. Thank you to everyone who bought, read, reviewed (even negatively), emailed me about, and worked on AUT. I can’t wait for you all to read Hallelujah! I really hope you like it.
Originally published at AnnaJarzab.com