NaNo day 13
Okay - just hit 25k and feeling somewhat brainfried.
X-Factor tonight, which I am not watching. No. No way. Uh uh.
Well, maybe a bit. What I do is wait for Stuart Heritage's liveblog on the Graun website, read that and play back the appropriate performances on You Tube. It saves sitting through interminable adverts and footage of people crying about how much 'they really really want this' because their jobs are shit/it's their dream/Jesus told them to do it/grandma got cancer and was then run over by a steamroller/delete as applicable.
Do it my way and you can almost delude yourself that it's a singing competition. Try it - it's fun.
This year's greatest trainwreck is probably the soon-to-be-doomed Katie Waissel - a bleached blonde cartoon of Bonnie Langford voiced by Geri Halliwell and with the terrifying stage school desperation of both added together and squared. No, cubed.
Wassail - vb (Largely archaic). The festive practise of going door to door carol singing and bumming drinks. Derives from the traditional 'wassail' - a sort of spiced wine punch that nobody particularly likes and presumably gives to carol singers because they want them to fuck off. Roots: Anglo Saxon - waes haeil - 'be healthy'
Waissel - vb. To persist in the delusion that one has real talent despite an inability to sing a song without a) forgetting the words a bit and b) crying and to persist in the belief that one's endless fuck ups make one 'quirky' and 'real' rather than simply shit. Roots: want doing.
I want Wagner to win. Not because he can sing, dance or do anything that isn't completely awful. It's just because I want to watch one of the dickbag judges attempt to polish a turd as huge and stinky as Wagner. I mean, come on - it'd be a laugh, wouldn't it? I don't know who's mentoring him but they're all completely horrible people and it would serve them right if they found themselves attempting to market a fat, tone deaf Brazilian P.E. teacher with a bongo fixation. Plus, if Wagner got the Christmas number one then at least the Christmas number one would be memorably fucking terrible instead of yet another bland teenage popstrel warbling yet another anodyne ode to self congratulation.
If you vote at all (And I quite understand if you don't) vote beardy bongo mentaller. You know it makes sense.
X-Factor tonight, which I am not watching. No. No way. Uh uh.
Well, maybe a bit. What I do is wait for Stuart Heritage's liveblog on the Graun website, read that and play back the appropriate performances on You Tube. It saves sitting through interminable adverts and footage of people crying about how much 'they really really want this' because their jobs are shit/it's their dream/Jesus told them to do it/grandma got cancer and was then run over by a steamroller/delete as applicable.
Do it my way and you can almost delude yourself that it's a singing competition. Try it - it's fun.
This year's greatest trainwreck is probably the soon-to-be-doomed Katie Waissel - a bleached blonde cartoon of Bonnie Langford voiced by Geri Halliwell and with the terrifying stage school desperation of both added together and squared. No, cubed.
Wassail - vb (Largely archaic). The festive practise of going door to door carol singing and bumming drinks. Derives from the traditional 'wassail' - a sort of spiced wine punch that nobody particularly likes and presumably gives to carol singers because they want them to fuck off. Roots: Anglo Saxon - waes haeil - 'be healthy'
Waissel - vb. To persist in the delusion that one has real talent despite an inability to sing a song without a) forgetting the words a bit and b) crying and to persist in the belief that one's endless fuck ups make one 'quirky' and 'real' rather than simply shit. Roots: want doing.
I want Wagner to win. Not because he can sing, dance or do anything that isn't completely awful. It's just because I want to watch one of the dickbag judges attempt to polish a turd as huge and stinky as Wagner. I mean, come on - it'd be a laugh, wouldn't it? I don't know who's mentoring him but they're all completely horrible people and it would serve them right if they found themselves attempting to market a fat, tone deaf Brazilian P.E. teacher with a bongo fixation. Plus, if Wagner got the Christmas number one then at least the Christmas number one would be memorably fucking terrible instead of yet another bland teenage popstrel warbling yet another anodyne ode to self congratulation.
If you vote at all (And I quite understand if you don't) vote beardy bongo mentaller. You know it makes sense.