sometimes i just don't know

[annagirl]

a subtle smell,
a repeating lyric
before an instant trip back
i can remember your shirt
worn, discarded
a hard look in your eyes, new to me
jump and my face narrows
focused subtly on your limits
this unbreakable structure around you
or is it mine
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think of her and i see it
after it twists through my eyes
observation has never been so intrusive
she looms large from unimportance
holding your toes she is tiny
in every action holds her power, you
apparently being a pawn is hard work
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body primed but gaze avoidant
a frivolous thing speaking a real hurt
this wall in my face
unforgiven mistakes held strong by years of unacknowledged change
is this a figment?
is it produced by my twisted mind, avoidant soul?
turn my pride into a catalyst for accepted rejection
getting through, didn't you know?
through is the best part
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reach out a hand and touch her
she'll look and smile
pure light
how will you trap it this time
which word, a new leash
manipulate your rusty smile
turning the barb