The World I Knew - Okamoto Keito
It’s been roughly 8 years since Keito has left the lands he was standing on. He was back in England. The country he has lived in from his childhood. He abruptly looks around the scenery in front of him. Everything seemed so different, yet still is the same from the time since when he has left.
Walking off the train porch which he boarded from London, he looked around to sync in his environment. The trees, and path trails everywhere. He surely missed these: the nature’s scent surrounding the vicinity, and the sun shining brightly above him. Realizing this in his mind he thought, ‘it’s good to be back’ before walking off to the path trails he clearly remembered.
****************
A girl (or rather a woman), with fine brownish-black hair, and eyes with the shade of grayish-black, sat at a rock underneath the shades of a big old tree, looking out into the field and feeling the nature’s breeze cool her skin.
“Leanne? Leanne?” she heard someone call out. Hearing so, she opened her closed eyes, and ran back up to her home.
“Yes mama? Is everything all right?” Leanne asked upon going through the door.
“Oh, Leanne, dear-I’m so sorry to bother you, but would you mind going into town to fetch something up for me?” her grandmother asked, from across the counter of the kitchen.
“Oh, that’s all right mama. It’s not a bother at all.” Leanne answered with such humbleness and simplicity. She was a young lady of humble manners and was very finesse in everything she did. She was very poise and settled at the same time, very outrageous in different ways.
She walks up to her bedroom to grab her small messenger bag which she liked to use rather than a purse. She turned to her mirror to grab a tie, and with the sunrays looming into the room from the opposite direction, the mirrors reflected its warm light all over the room. Leanne then took a glance at the mirror after tidying up her hair into a bun, and then took a scarf out of her closet. Taking one last look at her mirror, she finds herself looking at a photograph, two children, little boy with such slanted cheeky-slanted eyes and slightly long hair and a little girl holding onto the boy’s shoulder, with dark-brown hair and gray eyes, smiling brightly, and happily, tucked in the lower right of her mirror. She smiled upon seeing it. She surely missed this friend of hers. She wasn’t even sure of the exact reasons why she still kept the photograph even after what has happened.
~Flashback~
The two children were sitting on the big rock under the old tree’s shadows.
“Leanne, this is for you” the little boy said, offering the little girl a present.
“Uhm, thank you for this. Though, what’s the occasion?” the little girl replied.
“Uhhm.. Well you see… my family’s going to take a vacation. We’re going back to Japan. Around that time, I probably wouldn’t be here for your birthday, so I decided to give this in advance for you! Advance Happy Birthday!” the little girl reached out to take her present.
“Oh, I see. Thank you very much!” she muttered.
“Open it. I wanna see your reaction to it”
“Alright then” the little girl started to unwrap her gift as the little boy observed her do it. After unwrapping everything up, she pulls out a brown bear out of its chamber.
“Waaaaaaahhhh~ It’s so cute. Thank you very much! I love it!” the little girl said, as she hugged her gift.
“Glad you like it” the little boy smiled. Feeling satisfied to have given joy to his.
“Oh, wait. This aside, when are you leaving town for your vacation?” the little girl asked, turning her attention back to her friend.
“Oh, in 3 days.”
“Ooooh, I see. Well, enjoy your vacation, alright? I’m sure your relatives would be thrilled to see you.”
The boy nodded. “I’ll probably there for a month according to my parents. So, I’ll be looking forward to seeing you welcome me back, alright?”
The little girl nodded.
After that moment, the little boy left, and after a month the little girl returned to the train station porch to welcome him back. Day after day, as day turned into months, and months after months, the little girl returned to the porch.
But nobody came.
~End of Flashback~
Remembering such painful memories, she let them pass by her mind. Turning to her door, she exited her room and walked her way downstairs.
******************************
He was walking down the trails he has walked through as a kid. He found an unusual fascination about it. Having his earphones plugged, and his messenger bag strapped on him, he found himself calm, relaxed just by walking down these roads. Nobody knew about his fame, no paparazzi trying to follow and captures shots of him secretly, and definitely no one trying to stalk him. He felt like a normal person, he felt relieved, he felt …free. Free from the media’s eyes, free from the comparison that people make between him and his father, free from the pressure and stress of everyday work. He felt happy to have a moment of absolute carefree time. He smiled at the thought of it.
Walking on in his direction, he couldn’t help but love every scenery he laid eyes upon on, and couldn’t help but think of how his friend, Yuto Nakajima, would be delighted to focus his camera lenses in different angles of this place. Without realizing, he suddenly stumbles upon a field, and within it, there was a big old tree. He thought it was familiar as he looked further into the different direction of the field and the house nearest. He looked at it for a brief moment; suddenly his mind played a picture of two children playing within the field. He smiled, having to recall these images. He definitely knew why this place was familiar. This was a sanctuary for them.
For him, and the girl that he secretly loved.
****************
Leanne was on her way back after fetching the book that her grandmother had asked her to pick up from the library in town. It was a fairly nice day for her, everything seemed ordinary. She was already on her trails back to her home, taking big leaps of steps playfully. She was looking out onto the field that was beside her home, it sure seemed like ages, yet the image of it remained the same. Never changed. That’s when she notices an unusual man standing just a few feet away from her. He was viewing the fields as well, just as how she was a moment ago. This man was surely a tourist, seeing as how he dressed. Wearing a three-fourths’ cut white polo shirt underneath a black sleeveless cardigan, with his jeans that are tattered with stylish-slashes. His face, with definite sharp strokes, and his eyes slanted. This guy seemed so strange and alien to her eyes, yet so familiar.
She suddenly saw the guy eye’s abruptly turn to her direction. Noting that he has probably notice her presence by now, the guy turned to face her. With him doing so, everything felt slow for Leanne. As the guy drew his direction stand to face her, slowly but surely, she recognized the familiar lines and features of him. Though it’s been years, and his features have changed so much, she was certain this was still the person she knew. The friend that she has been keeping hold of; deep within her memories. The friend who she wanted to forget, yet somehow kept a longing for even after all these years.
It was Keito.
******************************************
“It’s been so long…” Keito uttered.
Leanne nodded. “Yes, it has.” After coming back home, and showing Keito’s return to her grandmother, Leanne decided to take Keito for a stroll.
“Quite frankly, I hardly recognized you” Keito said, jokingly.
“Well, look who’s talking? I personally thought you were a lost traveler on the loose”
They both laughed at their exchange of words. They filled in each other of the general stuffs that they have missed throughout the years. She learned that he was now a part of a music group band called Hey!Say!JUMP and that he is in his graduating year of high school and how he plans on going to university. She has also learned that during his stay in Japan, unfortunate events have happened. His parents have decided to sign divorce papers and Keito was therefore turned to his father’s custody according his own choice. Since then, plans were all changed; resulting to Keito having to switch schools from England to an international school in Japan, and them settling in Japan. While he has learned that during the past 5 years, Leanne’s grandfather and mother has passed away due to illness.
They were now sitting on the big rock under the big old tree in the field beside Leanne’s home. It was sunset then, and the surrounding was a mixture of color green-yellow-to orange to a shade of red, with the sunset’s light captivating the whole environment.
“Must’ve been hard for you…” Leanne remarked, as she doodled with her scarf.
Keito shrugged. “It’s not like there’s much I could do.” He looked down to the ground. There was a moment of silence. Yet, deep inside Leanne, so much more questions were left unasked. She wanted to ask them, but couldn’t find the guts to. As for Keito, he knew he had so much to say-so much more to explain. He wanted her to ask, but he was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to answer her questions right.
“Well, that aside. How long will you be staying in town?” Leanne asked, trying to change the topic.
“Hmmm, I’ll probably around town only for a couple of days. Since I’ll have to go back to London eventually” Keito answered.
Leanne nodded in understanding. Two days, that’s all I’ll have to hope for. “Well, I guess for those two nights, you can stay over at my place. I’m sure Mama (her grandmother), and Dad wouldn’t mind since you were once a family.” Leanne exclaimed, ending it with a smile.
“Oh, no. I can’t take that for granted, I’ve received enough hospitality from your fam-”
“Ep! No, no’s! I insist! Plus, take it as a welcome back gift. You have been gone for eight years. Alright?” Leanne cut him off.
“Guess, I can’t really say no now can I?” Keito said, defeated.
Leanne abruptly shakes her head. As they both smiled, knowing that this can be a time for them to catch up on to each other’s life somehow.
****************************
During the two days that they spent together, Leanne and Keito bonded as much. Leanne brought Keito back to the different places they’ve been with in the neighborhood during the time when Keito still lived in town. She brought him back to their elementary school, visited the church they went in to, the lake that they occasionally swam in with each other’s family, visited their teachers from back then, and recalled memories of their past with their different adventures with their friends.
From time to time, Leanne knew more of Keito’s circle of friends. She finds his friend named Yuto to be quite a hobbyist (as how Keito would’ve described him), a guy he calls Yama-chan seems to be quite talented but according to Keito’s story can be a major failure with his actions, and then a guy he calls Ryuu, who appears to be the youngest of the group, is very very aggressive every time they tease him, and seems to be protecting his pride at unnecessary times. Leanne noted though that of all his friends that he tells about, she hears Yuto’s name a lot more.
It felt nice, having been able to catch up to her life-that’s what Keito taught. He wished he could stay here. Stay with her. His emotions was flooding inside him every time he sees her, but every time he looks at her, he finds himself being blocked off in different ways. There was something in her, that she keeps in, yet he wanted to know.
So many things that they’ve caught up with each other, yet deep inside there was a wall inside Leanne’s heart that she didn’t want to let loose. For she knew, that if she let it collapse, her world would be harder to bear with for her own. Little did she know that every wall will have a hole to see through.
***************************
Time has passed by quickly, and admittedly, two days is not much of time. It’s already Keito’s last night of stay in Leanne’s house. Keito was in his room, towel on his head. He just finished taking a shower.
God. I need more time… Keito thought.
I love her… I’m in love with her…
But…
I know.. I know she can’t love me…
After all that I’ve done…
I’ve forgotten about her…
Buried her along with the horrible events of the past that this place holds…
However,………uggghhh.. I don’t know what to do…
Help me, God. Help me, please…
As if God has answered his prayers, that when he looked through his widows: he saw Leanne, sitting on the rock on the field under the big old tree. It was definitely not the hour to be sitting in an open field when it’s pass the hour of nine. Seeing this, Keito, pull his grey-red striped sweater on before making his way out of his room.
****************************
Leanne was holding the bear that she got from when she was young. Sitting at the rock on the field, this was how she learned how to keep her thoughts at ease. Only little did she know that she couldn’t keep every grudge within her hidden forever. As she was there, thinking of everything that’s been happening in two days time.
I wanted to cry… But I can’t.
I have to stay strong… or else nobody would keep holding on.
I needed him…
Mommy’s gone…
I needed someone to embrace me, to caress me, to care for me…
But no… He wasn’t there…
All I have of him is this bear…
Because he was gone..
He left me… nothing to hold on to…
He told me he wanted me to welcome him back…
I waited, I came back.. Hoping to see his cheerful face once again…
At the day when mommy disappeared… I ran carrying my bear to the train porch…
I wanted to see him… I wanted to cry..
I didn’t want daddy to see me cry, because he was already in sorrow enough…
But.. no… I cried there in the porch, praying that he’d arrive…
But he never did…
He never did….
Leanne thoughts was cut as she felt something warm stride along her cheeks. When she opened her eyes, she saw him. The person she’s been waiting for, the person she wanted to run to, the person she wanted to cry on to. But now. Everything’s been done. There are no more tears to cry out for…her reasons were just all crumbling down. Everything, everything was too late.
*******************
When Keito arrived, he saw Leanne, eyes closed, but with trace of tears on her cheeks. The reasons for them, he did not have a clue. But he knew enough, that she was in pain, and that is why she’s here outside.
He took his steps towards her and as he got to her, he lifted his fingertips to reach her face and wipe her tears away. He wiped the tears on her eyes with his thumb, and as she opened her eyes, Keito couldn’t help but gaze into her sparkling gray eyes under the moonlight. They looked back at him, with a spark of rage of sort. This left Keito unsettled.
Keito then held her face in between his hands, anxiousness in his face.
Leanne now sobbed, and cried. She was crying heavily, she looked down for a moment before looking up to meet his brown eyes.
“It’s too late…” Leanne muttered, under her choking sobs
Keito stood for a moment, figuring out her words, “I’m… I’m…”
“You’re too late…” Leanne continued, tears streaming down her face non-stop. “Everything…everything’s too late Keito..... I was there….. I wait..waite.. waited for you…..I needed you…. I called out for you so many times… I wanted to cry…. Everything was gone….. everything was disappearing…. I needed someone to help me up…. I needed someone to save me… I needed you…. ”
Keito didn’t know what to do. He could only look down. He kept his hands to her face. He didn’t wanna lose her, even if he knew that was exactly what was happening.
Leanne held his hands that were on her face. “Where were you?... Keito… I was lost…. I didn’t know what to do….. I needed you…..where were you?........” she asked.
Keito could only shake his head; he felt every word she said. He wasn’t there when she needed him. He wasn’t able to be there for her. There was nothing he could do, just like before, there was nothing he could do to lessen the pain she had to endure. He leaned his forward on hers. “Leanne….I……….. I’m… so… I’m sorry…. I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry…”
Leanne shook her head. She held Keito’s hands that held her face and abruptly brought them down, before she ran back inside the house up to her room, and closed it shut. Leaving Keito with nothing but his thoughts of regret and tears and pain of not being with her, and not being able to be there for her during the most crucial times.
********************
The next morning, when Leanne descended, all she found was her grandmother.
“You have shed your tears at last, I see” her grandmother muttered. Leanne’s attention caught.
“What do you mean, Mama?” Leanne asked approaching her grandmother across the counter of the kitchen.
“Dear child… did you actually think that you were the only one aching all these time?”her grandmother continued. “I knew you were hurting… everyone has been hurting my darling. When your mother passed away, your father had a certain phase in his life when he thought he could no longer go on. But he did. When your grandfather disappeared, I knew I would be thinking like your father was. But your grandfather wouldn’t be happy to see me living my life that way now, would he?”
Her grandmother held her hands together. “Everybody has been hurting…. And I know for sure that that boy is hurting as much as you are. I am sure, that like you, he wanted someone to embrace him during his crucial times. He wanted someone to save him when he felt like he was drowning from everything around him.”
Leanne felt her tears starting to roll once again, “and I know for one, that just like you…” her grandmother uttered wiping the tears on the left side of her face, “he longs for you too.”
Hearing this, Leanne’s tears kept rolling all the more. As her grandmother stroke both her cheeks before making her face her. Looking at her in the eyes, she said, “Now go.”
Getting the message, Leanne embraced her grandmother before running off to the train station.
****************
The rain was pouring hard for the day, but that didn’t stop Leanne from sprinting her way up to the porch. By the time she arrived at the porch, she looked around for the signs of which train is leaving for London within the hour. When she got to the right train, the train’s length was already half way through from the porch’s view. She went after it, lungs feel enflamed. But to no afford, the train just kept on going.
Leanne stood there, soaked in the hard pouring rain. She was gasping for breath. She couldn’t tell anymore. Even she was struggling, whether it was gasping for breath or for the fact that she knew she just did another mistake of letting the guy that she loves most go.
Realizing this, she just knew then, how fortunate she was that it was raining. At least her tears wouldn’t be visible under the rain. But even if the rain can deceiver everybody, she knew for herself that she wanted to cry. She wanted to let her tears flow out.
“Keito… Keito…. Keito…” she called his name over, even after knowing enough that he won’t hear her.
********************
Keito couldn’t believe his eyes. Few feet away from him, was a familiar figure with brownish-black hair, and although he couldn’t see her eyes because he was looking from the back, he was just certain of his instinct.
As he took a few steps closer, he could hear her calling out his name.. “Keito… Keito…. Keito…” he heard.
She was soaking in wet, crying under the hard pouring rain. He took some few steps further towards her, he knew he didn’t deserve this, but he had to try.
Knowing that she hears his near footsteps, abruptly, she turns her head to his direction. Upon seeing him, she stood there on the rain for a brief moment, looking at Keito.
Keito observed as she surely was gathering up her tears, sobbing and sobbing, her eyes turning red even with the deceiving façade that the rain was providing for her tears. He looked back at her. He took a few more steps towards her, making their distance from feet to inches, and inches, inches closer. When he stood up right in front of her, he held her face, gazed into her gray puffy eyes. Before he knew it, he felt arms encircle around his neck, and the sudden weight he felt on him, as she launched herself to him. Keito tighten his hold on her, and hugged her back. Captivating the moment, as they held each other close. Keito buried his face to her neck, wanting to hide the tears that were about to stream. Leanne kept her arms tight around him, making sure that he was real, and that she wasn’t imagining things. Sobbing all the more.
“I’m so sorry Leanne… I’m so sorry…” Keito uttered.
He felt Leanne shake her head. “No, I’m sorry Keito. I didn’t think of your being… I wasn’t the only one hurting…”
Keito let loose of his hug on her, and abruptly held her arms and brought them down, holding her hands with his. He held her face once more, gazing through her gray eyes.
“I love you Leanne…. I’ve always loved you, and I am in love with you” Keito said.
Leanne smiled upon hearing his confession. She caressed Keito’s arm that held her face. “And I am to you…. I just hope you know…” she said.
Keito smiled brightly, upon hearing her response. He brought her face to his, leaning his forehead onto hers, he then pressed his lips against them feeling every surreal moment of the present that he realizes that the world he knew will always be something he cannot let himself bury deep into thoughts of his drowning memories of the past.
XxXxXxXx The End xXxXxXxX
Walking off the train porch which he boarded from London, he looked around to sync in his environment. The trees, and path trails everywhere. He surely missed these: the nature’s scent surrounding the vicinity, and the sun shining brightly above him. Realizing this in his mind he thought, ‘it’s good to be back’ before walking off to the path trails he clearly remembered.
****************
A girl (or rather a woman), with fine brownish-black hair, and eyes with the shade of grayish-black, sat at a rock underneath the shades of a big old tree, looking out into the field and feeling the nature’s breeze cool her skin.
“Leanne? Leanne?” she heard someone call out. Hearing so, she opened her closed eyes, and ran back up to her home.
“Yes mama? Is everything all right?” Leanne asked upon going through the door.
“Oh, Leanne, dear-I’m so sorry to bother you, but would you mind going into town to fetch something up for me?” her grandmother asked, from across the counter of the kitchen.
“Oh, that’s all right mama. It’s not a bother at all.” Leanne answered with such humbleness and simplicity. She was a young lady of humble manners and was very finesse in everything she did. She was very poise and settled at the same time, very outrageous in different ways.
She walks up to her bedroom to grab her small messenger bag which she liked to use rather than a purse. She turned to her mirror to grab a tie, and with the sunrays looming into the room from the opposite direction, the mirrors reflected its warm light all over the room. Leanne then took a glance at the mirror after tidying up her hair into a bun, and then took a scarf out of her closet. Taking one last look at her mirror, she finds herself looking at a photograph, two children, little boy with such slanted cheeky-slanted eyes and slightly long hair and a little girl holding onto the boy’s shoulder, with dark-brown hair and gray eyes, smiling brightly, and happily, tucked in the lower right of her mirror. She smiled upon seeing it. She surely missed this friend of hers. She wasn’t even sure of the exact reasons why she still kept the photograph even after what has happened.
~Flashback~
The two children were sitting on the big rock under the old tree’s shadows.
“Leanne, this is for you” the little boy said, offering the little girl a present.
“Uhm, thank you for this. Though, what’s the occasion?” the little girl replied.
“Uhhm.. Well you see… my family’s going to take a vacation. We’re going back to Japan. Around that time, I probably wouldn’t be here for your birthday, so I decided to give this in advance for you! Advance Happy Birthday!” the little girl reached out to take her present.
“Oh, I see. Thank you very much!” she muttered.
“Open it. I wanna see your reaction to it”
“Alright then” the little girl started to unwrap her gift as the little boy observed her do it. After unwrapping everything up, she pulls out a brown bear out of its chamber.
“Waaaaaaahhhh~ It’s so cute. Thank you very much! I love it!” the little girl said, as she hugged her gift.
“Glad you like it” the little boy smiled. Feeling satisfied to have given joy to his.
“Oh, wait. This aside, when are you leaving town for your vacation?” the little girl asked, turning her attention back to her friend.
“Oh, in 3 days.”
“Ooooh, I see. Well, enjoy your vacation, alright? I’m sure your relatives would be thrilled to see you.”
The boy nodded. “I’ll probably there for a month according to my parents. So, I’ll be looking forward to seeing you welcome me back, alright?”
The little girl nodded.
After that moment, the little boy left, and after a month the little girl returned to the train station porch to welcome him back. Day after day, as day turned into months, and months after months, the little girl returned to the porch.
But nobody came.
~End of Flashback~
Remembering such painful memories, she let them pass by her mind. Turning to her door, she exited her room and walked her way downstairs.
******************************
He was walking down the trails he has walked through as a kid. He found an unusual fascination about it. Having his earphones plugged, and his messenger bag strapped on him, he found himself calm, relaxed just by walking down these roads. Nobody knew about his fame, no paparazzi trying to follow and captures shots of him secretly, and definitely no one trying to stalk him. He felt like a normal person, he felt relieved, he felt …free. Free from the media’s eyes, free from the comparison that people make between him and his father, free from the pressure and stress of everyday work. He felt happy to have a moment of absolute carefree time. He smiled at the thought of it.
Walking on in his direction, he couldn’t help but love every scenery he laid eyes upon on, and couldn’t help but think of how his friend, Yuto Nakajima, would be delighted to focus his camera lenses in different angles of this place. Without realizing, he suddenly stumbles upon a field, and within it, there was a big old tree. He thought it was familiar as he looked further into the different direction of the field and the house nearest. He looked at it for a brief moment; suddenly his mind played a picture of two children playing within the field. He smiled, having to recall these images. He definitely knew why this place was familiar. This was a sanctuary for them.
For him, and the girl that he secretly loved.
****************
Leanne was on her way back after fetching the book that her grandmother had asked her to pick up from the library in town. It was a fairly nice day for her, everything seemed ordinary. She was already on her trails back to her home, taking big leaps of steps playfully. She was looking out onto the field that was beside her home, it sure seemed like ages, yet the image of it remained the same. Never changed. That’s when she notices an unusual man standing just a few feet away from her. He was viewing the fields as well, just as how she was a moment ago. This man was surely a tourist, seeing as how he dressed. Wearing a three-fourths’ cut white polo shirt underneath a black sleeveless cardigan, with his jeans that are tattered with stylish-slashes. His face, with definite sharp strokes, and his eyes slanted. This guy seemed so strange and alien to her eyes, yet so familiar.
She suddenly saw the guy eye’s abruptly turn to her direction. Noting that he has probably notice her presence by now, the guy turned to face her. With him doing so, everything felt slow for Leanne. As the guy drew his direction stand to face her, slowly but surely, she recognized the familiar lines and features of him. Though it’s been years, and his features have changed so much, she was certain this was still the person she knew. The friend that she has been keeping hold of; deep within her memories. The friend who she wanted to forget, yet somehow kept a longing for even after all these years.
It was Keito.
******************************************
“It’s been so long…” Keito uttered.
Leanne nodded. “Yes, it has.” After coming back home, and showing Keito’s return to her grandmother, Leanne decided to take Keito for a stroll.
“Quite frankly, I hardly recognized you” Keito said, jokingly.
“Well, look who’s talking? I personally thought you were a lost traveler on the loose”
They both laughed at their exchange of words. They filled in each other of the general stuffs that they have missed throughout the years. She learned that he was now a part of a music group band called Hey!Say!JUMP and that he is in his graduating year of high school and how he plans on going to university. She has also learned that during his stay in Japan, unfortunate events have happened. His parents have decided to sign divorce papers and Keito was therefore turned to his father’s custody according his own choice. Since then, plans were all changed; resulting to Keito having to switch schools from England to an international school in Japan, and them settling in Japan. While he has learned that during the past 5 years, Leanne’s grandfather and mother has passed away due to illness.
They were now sitting on the big rock under the big old tree in the field beside Leanne’s home. It was sunset then, and the surrounding was a mixture of color green-yellow-to orange to a shade of red, with the sunset’s light captivating the whole environment.
“Must’ve been hard for you…” Leanne remarked, as she doodled with her scarf.
Keito shrugged. “It’s not like there’s much I could do.” He looked down to the ground. There was a moment of silence. Yet, deep inside Leanne, so much more questions were left unasked. She wanted to ask them, but couldn’t find the guts to. As for Keito, he knew he had so much to say-so much more to explain. He wanted her to ask, but he was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to answer her questions right.
“Well, that aside. How long will you be staying in town?” Leanne asked, trying to change the topic.
“Hmmm, I’ll probably around town only for a couple of days. Since I’ll have to go back to London eventually” Keito answered.
Leanne nodded in understanding. Two days, that’s all I’ll have to hope for. “Well, I guess for those two nights, you can stay over at my place. I’m sure Mama (her grandmother), and Dad wouldn’t mind since you were once a family.” Leanne exclaimed, ending it with a smile.
“Oh, no. I can’t take that for granted, I’ve received enough hospitality from your fam-”
“Ep! No, no’s! I insist! Plus, take it as a welcome back gift. You have been gone for eight years. Alright?” Leanne cut him off.
“Guess, I can’t really say no now can I?” Keito said, defeated.
Leanne abruptly shakes her head. As they both smiled, knowing that this can be a time for them to catch up on to each other’s life somehow.
****************************
During the two days that they spent together, Leanne and Keito bonded as much. Leanne brought Keito back to the different places they’ve been with in the neighborhood during the time when Keito still lived in town. She brought him back to their elementary school, visited the church they went in to, the lake that they occasionally swam in with each other’s family, visited their teachers from back then, and recalled memories of their past with their different adventures with their friends.
From time to time, Leanne knew more of Keito’s circle of friends. She finds his friend named Yuto to be quite a hobbyist (as how Keito would’ve described him), a guy he calls Yama-chan seems to be quite talented but according to Keito’s story can be a major failure with his actions, and then a guy he calls Ryuu, who appears to be the youngest of the group, is very very aggressive every time they tease him, and seems to be protecting his pride at unnecessary times. Leanne noted though that of all his friends that he tells about, she hears Yuto’s name a lot more.
It felt nice, having been able to catch up to her life-that’s what Keito taught. He wished he could stay here. Stay with her. His emotions was flooding inside him every time he sees her, but every time he looks at her, he finds himself being blocked off in different ways. There was something in her, that she keeps in, yet he wanted to know.
So many things that they’ve caught up with each other, yet deep inside there was a wall inside Leanne’s heart that she didn’t want to let loose. For she knew, that if she let it collapse, her world would be harder to bear with for her own. Little did she know that every wall will have a hole to see through.
***************************
Time has passed by quickly, and admittedly, two days is not much of time. It’s already Keito’s last night of stay in Leanne’s house. Keito was in his room, towel on his head. He just finished taking a shower.
God. I need more time… Keito thought.
I love her… I’m in love with her…
But…
I know.. I know she can’t love me…
After all that I’ve done…
I’ve forgotten about her…
Buried her along with the horrible events of the past that this place holds…
However,………uggghhh.. I don’t know what to do…
Help me, God. Help me, please…
As if God has answered his prayers, that when he looked through his widows: he saw Leanne, sitting on the rock on the field under the big old tree. It was definitely not the hour to be sitting in an open field when it’s pass the hour of nine. Seeing this, Keito, pull his grey-red striped sweater on before making his way out of his room.
****************************
Leanne was holding the bear that she got from when she was young. Sitting at the rock on the field, this was how she learned how to keep her thoughts at ease. Only little did she know that she couldn’t keep every grudge within her hidden forever. As she was there, thinking of everything that’s been happening in two days time.
I wanted to cry… But I can’t.
I have to stay strong… or else nobody would keep holding on.
I needed him…
Mommy’s gone…
I needed someone to embrace me, to caress me, to care for me…
But no… He wasn’t there…
All I have of him is this bear…
Because he was gone..
He left me… nothing to hold on to…
He told me he wanted me to welcome him back…
I waited, I came back.. Hoping to see his cheerful face once again…
At the day when mommy disappeared… I ran carrying my bear to the train porch…
I wanted to see him… I wanted to cry..
I didn’t want daddy to see me cry, because he was already in sorrow enough…
But.. no… I cried there in the porch, praying that he’d arrive…
But he never did…
He never did….
Leanne thoughts was cut as she felt something warm stride along her cheeks. When she opened her eyes, she saw him. The person she’s been waiting for, the person she wanted to run to, the person she wanted to cry on to. But now. Everything’s been done. There are no more tears to cry out for…her reasons were just all crumbling down. Everything, everything was too late.
*******************
When Keito arrived, he saw Leanne, eyes closed, but with trace of tears on her cheeks. The reasons for them, he did not have a clue. But he knew enough, that she was in pain, and that is why she’s here outside.
He took his steps towards her and as he got to her, he lifted his fingertips to reach her face and wipe her tears away. He wiped the tears on her eyes with his thumb, and as she opened her eyes, Keito couldn’t help but gaze into her sparkling gray eyes under the moonlight. They looked back at him, with a spark of rage of sort. This left Keito unsettled.
Keito then held her face in between his hands, anxiousness in his face.
Leanne now sobbed, and cried. She was crying heavily, she looked down for a moment before looking up to meet his brown eyes.
“It’s too late…” Leanne muttered, under her choking sobs
Keito stood for a moment, figuring out her words, “I’m… I’m…”
“You’re too late…” Leanne continued, tears streaming down her face non-stop. “Everything…everything’s too late Keito..... I was there….. I wait..waite.. waited for you…..I needed you…. I called out for you so many times… I wanted to cry…. Everything was gone….. everything was disappearing…. I needed someone to help me up…. I needed someone to save me… I needed you…. ”
Keito didn’t know what to do. He could only look down. He kept his hands to her face. He didn’t wanna lose her, even if he knew that was exactly what was happening.
Leanne held his hands that were on her face. “Where were you?... Keito… I was lost…. I didn’t know what to do….. I needed you…..where were you?........” she asked.
Keito could only shake his head; he felt every word she said. He wasn’t there when she needed him. He wasn’t able to be there for her. There was nothing he could do, just like before, there was nothing he could do to lessen the pain she had to endure. He leaned his forward on hers. “Leanne….I……….. I’m… so… I’m sorry…. I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry…”
Leanne shook her head. She held Keito’s hands that held her face and abruptly brought them down, before she ran back inside the house up to her room, and closed it shut. Leaving Keito with nothing but his thoughts of regret and tears and pain of not being with her, and not being able to be there for her during the most crucial times.
********************
The next morning, when Leanne descended, all she found was her grandmother.
“You have shed your tears at last, I see” her grandmother muttered. Leanne’s attention caught.
“What do you mean, Mama?” Leanne asked approaching her grandmother across the counter of the kitchen.
“Dear child… did you actually think that you were the only one aching all these time?”her grandmother continued. “I knew you were hurting… everyone has been hurting my darling. When your mother passed away, your father had a certain phase in his life when he thought he could no longer go on. But he did. When your grandfather disappeared, I knew I would be thinking like your father was. But your grandfather wouldn’t be happy to see me living my life that way now, would he?”
Her grandmother held her hands together. “Everybody has been hurting…. And I know for sure that that boy is hurting as much as you are. I am sure, that like you, he wanted someone to embrace him during his crucial times. He wanted someone to save him when he felt like he was drowning from everything around him.”
Leanne felt her tears starting to roll once again, “and I know for one, that just like you…” her grandmother uttered wiping the tears on the left side of her face, “he longs for you too.”
Hearing this, Leanne’s tears kept rolling all the more. As her grandmother stroke both her cheeks before making her face her. Looking at her in the eyes, she said, “Now go.”
Getting the message, Leanne embraced her grandmother before running off to the train station.
****************
The rain was pouring hard for the day, but that didn’t stop Leanne from sprinting her way up to the porch. By the time she arrived at the porch, she looked around for the signs of which train is leaving for London within the hour. When she got to the right train, the train’s length was already half way through from the porch’s view. She went after it, lungs feel enflamed. But to no afford, the train just kept on going.
Leanne stood there, soaked in the hard pouring rain. She was gasping for breath. She couldn’t tell anymore. Even she was struggling, whether it was gasping for breath or for the fact that she knew she just did another mistake of letting the guy that she loves most go.
Realizing this, she just knew then, how fortunate she was that it was raining. At least her tears wouldn’t be visible under the rain. But even if the rain can deceiver everybody, she knew for herself that she wanted to cry. She wanted to let her tears flow out.
“Keito… Keito…. Keito…” she called his name over, even after knowing enough that he won’t hear her.
********************
Keito couldn’t believe his eyes. Few feet away from him, was a familiar figure with brownish-black hair, and although he couldn’t see her eyes because he was looking from the back, he was just certain of his instinct.
As he took a few steps closer, he could hear her calling out his name.. “Keito… Keito…. Keito…” he heard.
She was soaking in wet, crying under the hard pouring rain. He took some few steps further towards her, he knew he didn’t deserve this, but he had to try.
Knowing that she hears his near footsteps, abruptly, she turns her head to his direction. Upon seeing him, she stood there on the rain for a brief moment, looking at Keito.
Keito observed as she surely was gathering up her tears, sobbing and sobbing, her eyes turning red even with the deceiving façade that the rain was providing for her tears. He looked back at her. He took a few more steps towards her, making their distance from feet to inches, and inches, inches closer. When he stood up right in front of her, he held her face, gazed into her gray puffy eyes. Before he knew it, he felt arms encircle around his neck, and the sudden weight he felt on him, as she launched herself to him. Keito tighten his hold on her, and hugged her back. Captivating the moment, as they held each other close. Keito buried his face to her neck, wanting to hide the tears that were about to stream. Leanne kept her arms tight around him, making sure that he was real, and that she wasn’t imagining things. Sobbing all the more.
“I’m so sorry Leanne… I’m so sorry…” Keito uttered.
He felt Leanne shake her head. “No, I’m sorry Keito. I didn’t think of your being… I wasn’t the only one hurting…”
Keito let loose of his hug on her, and abruptly held her arms and brought them down, holding her hands with his. He held her face once more, gazing through her gray eyes.
“I love you Leanne…. I’ve always loved you, and I am in love with you” Keito said.
Leanne smiled upon hearing his confession. She caressed Keito’s arm that held her face. “And I am to you…. I just hope you know…” she said.
Keito smiled brightly, upon hearing her response. He brought her face to his, leaning his forehead onto hers, he then pressed his lips against them feeling every surreal moment of the present that he realizes that the world he knew will always be something he cannot let himself bury deep into thoughts of his drowning memories of the past.
XxXxXxXx The End xXxXxXxX