Comments | annabirmingham: Friday at the sandbox

annabirmingham

Friday at the sandbox - Part 12 "A shot in the dark

Aug 29, 2011 14:58

Summary - Modern day AU/AU. Ennis, Jack, kids, a playground...

Warnings - none
Length - c400 words
Feedback - yes please!

The 'beer date' took an intimate turn when Jack took the plunge...

( clickety click )

fridayatthesandbox

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expletory September 2 2011, 20:35:20 UTC

I think I have been commenting your stories mostly at the Dave Cullen forum before, especially "Four-Two Offense". I've been enjoying this story - the short chapters make for precise descriptions. the ending here is a burning image. the sentence is such a telling one in that laying your hand against someone's belly communicates something that you cannot doubt. it's a very fascinating detail that it is Ennis who presses Jack's hand against his belly and not Jack that lays his own hand against Ennis' belly. I think I'll be thinking about that image for a long time.

- E

annabirmingham September 3 2011, 00:26:09 UTC

Thanks so much!
I don't mind where the comments come from - anytime, anyplace is good for me!!
It's funny you mention the last sentence as I initially had Ennis kissing Jack's hand, but that didn't ring true, so it got changed. I'm glad I did :)
Anna x
p.s. so who are you on DCF?? i have an idea but don't want to offend!!

expletory September 3 2011, 13:25:40 UTC

I see. sometimes you have to really trust the gut instinct when writing although maybe originally you that the original plan was going to be the right one ( ... )

annabirmingham September 4 2011, 19:31:12 UTC

Hey Frokes :)
I love what you say about your body just reacting to someone - I see that as exactly what happened to Ennis in BBM. His brain couldn't handle what emotions were developing, but his body knew exactly what to do and (on occasion) took over.
On the fanfic point, I think it's healthy to have a variety of interests in life. My job (before I became a stay-at-home-mum a couple of years ago) was in corporate finance. Very professional. Very high brow. If anyone there had known of my slash addiction, they would have been totally shocked! I believe it makes us much more interesting as individuals to like both the serious and the fluffy :)
Anna x

expletory September 10 2011, 11:41:10 UTC

I'm late with this reply, sorry! been so incredibly busy this week. that's interesting about your job. :)
I agree with you about the last point. all the aspects are important to appreciate. will read the last part of this story now. :)

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