i'm off to the chiropractor and had this stuck in my head so i thought i'd share.
So I had to go see a chiropractor in New York, and they're different to osteopaths, chiropractors, because of the spelling. Of course, they're both very powerful figures on the Scrabble board, though... "Chiropractor... chiropractor... chiropractor... 93 letters, chiropractor." And they crack your bones, that's what they do, they crack your bones! And they take x-rays, but it’s pointless, because whatever is wrong with you… "You've got a bad back, I'm gonna crack your bones.” “You've got diphtheria, I'm gonna crack your bones.” “Your head's come off! I'm gonna crack your bones.” “It looks like your mother! I'm going to crack your bones. " And then, when they crack your bones it goes ( painful sigh ) and then, “Ahh!” but not sort of ( reliefsigh ), but ( disconcerted sigh ). All the way up your spine, "Crack your bones, crack your bones, crack your bones." And they sort of arrange you into a nice, comfortable ( mimes chiropractor’s actions ) And sometimes it doesn't crack! Sometimes it just goes, "____". Then they pull a mallet from their belt and they try to make the noise. “Make the noise! I live for the noise..." And they do your head as well, around here, and they get it into a nice position, and you're thinking, "Where the…? No, I don't think it's supposed to go around that...!" In the end, you just trust them, you trust them. They could havetheir fingers in your nostrils, one foot on the back of your underpants, and they're pushing your spine away with a broom.