[Fanfic] - Spinning down, spinning down, spinning down
At the beginning, all you did was subtle flirting: his hand enclosing yours, whispers to the ear that were just a little too close, arms around waists, chins upon one another’s shoulder - it made you feel so good, so high that you had no idea that this would all come crashing down.
All you could see was upwards, the sky was your limit, nothing could stop you, you could do anything, whatever you wanted, anything - and the best part was, you could do all of this with him.
It got better.
A little bit of kissing, cheek, lips: a little bit of tasting, ears, necks: a little bit of touching, chest, stomach, here, there, everywhere - he was yours and you were his.
Nothing could have gone wrong. You were on top of the world, you and him, looking down at what you’d achieved without anybody realising, holding one another’s hands, holding one another’s hearts.
“When it’s good, then it’s good, it’s so good,
- ‘til it goes bad”
And then it went wrong, so wrong.
When did you realise you’d gone the whole day without once even seeing him? (Did he miss me like I missed him?)
What did it feel like to have his hand in yours again? (Did his fingers intertwine in yours, did your fingers mix together awkwardly?)
How long ago had the smell of him buried in the crook of your neck disappeared? (Did it wash off while you were showering, sweating, crying?)
Why hadn’t you noticed that his sweet light smell had been tainted with the bitterness of guilt, shame - infidelity? (Or did you know and just not want to face up to it, certain that if you didn’t see it, it surely wouldn’t exist?)
You’re crying: so is he. (and you just want so badly to wipe them off his beautiful face and you just so badly want him to do the same for you)
You’re screaming: so is he. (tell him to shush, stroke his back, kiss the top of his head - these urges, when did they become second nature?)
You’re hurting: you think to yourself he isn’t - how could he if he did this to you? (but you lie, you lie, you lie: you can see it in him - body language, facial expression, breathing: this is someone whose heart is breaking.
And you only know this because this was - is - you.)
“Comin’ down, comin’ down, comin’ down”
You’re tumbling, tripping, falling, plummeting -
crash.
And that’s it: you’ve lost - world, love, sanity, happiness: heart.
(the higher you are, the harder you fall - and god, how he wished he’d known that)
All you could see was upwards, the sky was your limit, nothing could stop you, you could do anything, whatever you wanted, anything - and the best part was, you could do all of this with him.
It got better.
A little bit of kissing, cheek, lips: a little bit of tasting, ears, necks: a little bit of touching, chest, stomach, here, there, everywhere - he was yours and you were his.
Nothing could have gone wrong. You were on top of the world, you and him, looking down at what you’d achieved without anybody realising, holding one another’s hands, holding one another’s hearts.
“When it’s good, then it’s good, it’s so good,
- ‘til it goes bad”
And then it went wrong, so wrong.
When did you realise you’d gone the whole day without once even seeing him? (Did he miss me like I missed him?)
What did it feel like to have his hand in yours again? (Did his fingers intertwine in yours, did your fingers mix together awkwardly?)
How long ago had the smell of him buried in the crook of your neck disappeared? (Did it wash off while you were showering, sweating, crying?)
Why hadn’t you noticed that his sweet light smell had been tainted with the bitterness of guilt, shame - infidelity? (Or did you know and just not want to face up to it, certain that if you didn’t see it, it surely wouldn’t exist?)
You’re crying: so is he. (and you just want so badly to wipe them off his beautiful face and you just so badly want him to do the same for you)
You’re screaming: so is he. (tell him to shush, stroke his back, kiss the top of his head - these urges, when did they become second nature?)
You’re hurting: you think to yourself he isn’t - how could he if he did this to you? (but you lie, you lie, you lie: you can see it in him - body language, facial expression, breathing: this is someone whose heart is breaking.
And you only know this because this was - is - you.)
“Comin’ down, comin’ down, comin’ down”
You’re tumbling, tripping, falling, plummeting -
crash.
And that’s it: you’ve lost - world, love, sanity, happiness: heart.
(the higher you are, the harder you fall - and god, how he wished he’d known that)