(no subject)
alright. so i have had absolutely no sleep for 2.5 days. i had a foursome (diiiiirty!) conversation last night. anyways chris and i are on a "break" which basically means its over. all because he thinks he is coming in between mine and my friends friendship, mainly danielles. which yeah hes gotta be a great guy to do something like that, sacrifice his lo0o0o0o0o0ve for my happiness. but gotta tell ya, not really feeling the love. ashleys party was sat. night and he told me the same thing then and then hes like ok ill call you later tonite. pretty sure he pranked sloan 3 times then called her back to tell her it was him. all the while gatos was pissed at me. so never got a call from him. or the next day... well that is until 9 o frickin clock at night. you would think if you really wanted to talk about this and really cared about the other persons feelings then you would call as soon as you get up or at like noon or something. nah. 9 o clock is great. so he told me that we are going to take a break so me n danielle could figure out what the problem was and if it was him then we werent going back out and if it wasnt him then we probably would. then he added how he was still pissed about the whole me not trusting him the night of prom. so anyways, i guess i was pretty upset about it to a point. didnt really cry a whole bunch because lately something changed to where i dont really have to many emotions anymore. like when me and ashley hit the gas station (yeah we plowed into it, called the cops and everything!) i didnt really feel too much. now if it was 2 weeks ago i woulda been scared shitless. but i laughed. just literally laughed my ass off. anyways. so im having this 4-way and yeah im upset. then i come to find out that he was out with draz, drazs gf, and another chick the whole day. i didnt know what to think about that. then the whole doughtery thing wasnt the first time, only with different girls. oh yeah and THEN as if it couldnt get any worse, i was like wow i woulda thought this was my old boyfriend only minus the drugs. yeah... so now im freaking out. dont know what to do. so pissed and yet so hurt in this big wad of feelings. its still all kind of a blur to me. i really dont know what to do or say. here i was/am, in love with this guy whos obviously already moved on since hes been planning on doing this. yeah but thats really all i feel like talking about right now. im really confused and hurt and pissed and who knows what else.