Five Days
Five days from now, I'll be sitting around with about 40 other people like me. We'll likely be talking about ourselves- how long we've had diabetes, our lifestyles, our friends, our families, our love lives...Some of them I'll already know and remember, but most of them will be complete strangers to me. Its been eight years since I've been put into any sort of situation like this. It's been a good eight months since I've had much interaction with strangers outside of people in a virtual world.
I don't think thats the part that scares me though. The part I'm nervous about is being in a place that I haven't been to since I was 16. I was a very different person back then. I hope I can adapt to this place that was once considered a second home to me.. Three weeks living an entirely backwards life from what I've had for many years. While I've always been a huge gamer..the past three or four years in particular have been filled with life on the internet. I'll only be away for three weeks. But I imagine it'll be strange for me to not see the glow from the computer screen after a long day of running around and being active.
Since I lost my job, I spend most of my days on the computer. Gaming. Job Searching. Chatting with friends. The few friends I have around here, I usually see every so often, but some days, the only human interactions I get face to face are with Ryan. Unless you count the cat. Its something I never really thought about until a few days ago when I was at Otakon. I don't think I'll have issues with human interaction per say..I'm just worried that I won't be as...social as I used to be. I'm going to be a counselor for approximatley 120, and working with about 50 staff members. I'm nervous that I'll end up being shy and different than others. I'm afraid I might become the outcast. I just don't want to be considered the "weird one" or whatever. I actually want to just be like everyone else, for once.
Is that so strange? I mean, I don't want to compromise who I am in order to blend in with the others or anything..I'm proud to be a little strange, to be the girl gamer, to be into anime and internet life. But I'm usually with other people that live a similar lifestyle to me. This is going to be different. How do I make sure I stay true to myself without becoming the different one of the crowd? And does is make me the weird one for even worrying about something like this?
I don't think thats the part that scares me though. The part I'm nervous about is being in a place that I haven't been to since I was 16. I was a very different person back then. I hope I can adapt to this place that was once considered a second home to me.. Three weeks living an entirely backwards life from what I've had for many years. While I've always been a huge gamer..the past three or four years in particular have been filled with life on the internet. I'll only be away for three weeks. But I imagine it'll be strange for me to not see the glow from the computer screen after a long day of running around and being active.
Since I lost my job, I spend most of my days on the computer. Gaming. Job Searching. Chatting with friends. The few friends I have around here, I usually see every so often, but some days, the only human interactions I get face to face are with Ryan. Unless you count the cat. Its something I never really thought about until a few days ago when I was at Otakon. I don't think I'll have issues with human interaction per say..I'm just worried that I won't be as...social as I used to be. I'm going to be a counselor for approximatley 120, and working with about 50 staff members. I'm nervous that I'll end up being shy and different than others. I'm afraid I might become the outcast. I just don't want to be considered the "weird one" or whatever. I actually want to just be like everyone else, for once.
Is that so strange? I mean, I don't want to compromise who I am in order to blend in with the others or anything..I'm proud to be a little strange, to be the girl gamer, to be into anime and internet life. But I'm usually with other people that live a similar lifestyle to me. This is going to be different. How do I make sure I stay true to myself without becoming the different one of the crowd? And does is make me the weird one for even worrying about something like this?