(no subject)
I saw him tonight.
Everytime I see him my gut drops into my kneecaps. My heart races. I think of the millions of things I want to say to him, and all the things that I never will.
I remember what a dork I am. How pretty I'm not. How young and stupid and incompetent I am.
So many questions...all very inappropriate, yet I'm dying to ask. Does he even like women? And, more specifically, girls that are mixed up, that should have been born thirty years ago instead of twenty? That, while not particularly attractive, are able to half-make up for it in terms of wit and personality? Who would worship every aspect of him, every imperfection, as long as he just smiled at me that way One.More.Time...?
He talked to me. He always does, and I'm thankful he doesn't run screaming from the room. I make him laugh, I know I do, even if I do find it difficult to string coherent sentences together in his presence.
Everything about this is abnormal.
Edit: Upon further reflection, months (and experiences) later, I've come to know this as nothing more than a flighty crush. Yes, I still get butterflies, but I've matured a lot in the past few months. No I know what I was feeling, and confused it with love because I had never been in love before.
Everytime I see him my gut drops into my kneecaps. My heart races. I think of the millions of things I want to say to him, and all the things that I never will.
I remember what a dork I am. How pretty I'm not. How young and stupid and incompetent I am.
So many questions...all very inappropriate, yet I'm dying to ask. Does he even like women? And, more specifically, girls that are mixed up, that should have been born thirty years ago instead of twenty? That, while not particularly attractive, are able to half-make up for it in terms of wit and personality? Who would worship every aspect of him, every imperfection, as long as he just smiled at me that way One.More.Time...?
He talked to me. He always does, and I'm thankful he doesn't run screaming from the room. I make him laugh, I know I do, even if I do find it difficult to string coherent sentences together in his presence.
Everything about this is abnormal.
Edit: Upon further reflection, months (and experiences) later, I've come to know this as nothing more than a flighty crush. Yes, I still get butterflies, but I've matured a lot in the past few months. No I know what I was feeling, and confused it with love because I had never been in love before.