(no subject)
a lot has changed,
but i am moving on and growing up, like always! (but still always being the tinkerbelle/peterpan) i have accumulated four really cute guinea pigs named franz louie petey and bettie. today for the first time in almost 5 years my parents and i were together as a family, happy peaceful and normal like it used to be. we went for a walk, my parents ten steps ahead of me like always talking about who knows what, happy things pretty things good things and i was in a sense of shock and awe at scar that had healed in front of me. the loss of my family has been the hardest thing i've ever experienced, and i gave up on the idea of love and had truly felt a void for real. a lot of bad shit has happened and a lot of wisdom has been attained because of all of it. for awhile i thought it was frank that i was so fucked up over but he was only a part of the giant picture because frankie is truly part of my family. last night he sat next to me with an odd look in his eyes and i wonder what goes thru his head these days. he too has grown up and become so wonderful and smart and I am so proud of him. now we're brothers. i've collected a lot of negativity and negative people that i've felt obligated to fix but i can't fix them, only they can so i'm trying to gently let down the downers and move on and build myself anew and strong. all of my friends have grown up to be beautiful and handsome, successful and talented. i am surrounded by so many amazing people always.
but i am moving on and growing up, like always! (but still always being the tinkerbelle/peterpan) i have accumulated four really cute guinea pigs named franz louie petey and bettie. today for the first time in almost 5 years my parents and i were together as a family, happy peaceful and normal like it used to be. we went for a walk, my parents ten steps ahead of me like always talking about who knows what, happy things pretty things good things and i was in a sense of shock and awe at scar that had healed in front of me. the loss of my family has been the hardest thing i've ever experienced, and i gave up on the idea of love and had truly felt a void for real. a lot of bad shit has happened and a lot of wisdom has been attained because of all of it. for awhile i thought it was frank that i was so fucked up over but he was only a part of the giant picture because frankie is truly part of my family. last night he sat next to me with an odd look in his eyes and i wonder what goes thru his head these days. he too has grown up and become so wonderful and smart and I am so proud of him. now we're brothers. i've collected a lot of negativity and negative people that i've felt obligated to fix but i can't fix them, only they can so i'm trying to gently let down the downers and move on and build myself anew and strong. all of my friends have grown up to be beautiful and handsome, successful and talented. i am surrounded by so many amazing people always.