i wish i was beautiful
uhhhhh that was so awkward. ghetto oakwood graduation party at julia cox's. beki and i made a goal to make out with someone and we oddly accomplished it with phil....even though he then used us to get to katie but whatever hahah. that was so weird...i kind of want to forget it happened so i could be his friend and nothing else and not think about it and ew weird. why do all boys always want katie love? i'm jealous. i wish i had that power of beauty and coolness over the opposite sex
but phil??!?!?!?! whyyy did we do that?!?!?! oh well
it kind of just makes me want to give up on boys all together and let them approach me because i just feel ugly and dirty now. no boys ever like me. people say i deserve better but how can i get better if i can only get mostly ugly boys and very rarely at that? pretty gets pretty ugly gets ugly. i think i've come to terms that i'm not a very pretty person except with my personality. jimi always implied that too. ugh i'm hideous. i am. i'm so awkward and chubby looking with shitty facial features. i really wanted to be pretty more than anything in the world but i am so not at all and that sucks. worst thing is no plastic surgery could ever fix it
it's seven in the fucking morning ugh.
but phil??!?!?!?! whyyy did we do that?!?!?! oh well
it kind of just makes me want to give up on boys all together and let them approach me because i just feel ugly and dirty now. no boys ever like me. people say i deserve better but how can i get better if i can only get mostly ugly boys and very rarely at that? pretty gets pretty ugly gets ugly. i think i've come to terms that i'm not a very pretty person except with my personality. jimi always implied that too. ugh i'm hideous. i am. i'm so awkward and chubby looking with shitty facial features. i really wanted to be pretty more than anything in the world but i am so not at all and that sucks. worst thing is no plastic surgery could ever fix it
it's seven in the fucking morning ugh.