The day before 24th
So...
Last week roller coaster huh... Hey!Say!JUMP dropped three short PVs under different names on youtube, it was a day full of confusion and guessing games and treasure hunting...
Honey Bee, Sindibaad and John Darling.
H. S. J.
Even if they don't show their faces, those voices are unmistakable, and I can confidently identify each solo voices on the first listen. You should've seen me at home, I was hysterical lol and I couldn't stop looping those videos. Especially Honey Bee's, they just sound so good.
And this week is that Smash thing. I am still in confusion and also despair because my phone is near full. I think I am going to cry.
Did I say it already? It's October! My month! Or, well, October this year is my very own tenth year anniversary as HSJ fan.
Ten years! How did I even stay for ten years, I don't know myself.
Like, I get distracted so easily, but I have fixations, but also those fixations usually don't last very long.....???? For example, years ago I got fixated on Kingdom Hearts for around two years and then I just... casually peeking in every now and then but not actively following, you know? Even MDZS/CQL, seriously, from November last year to August this year, actually, I can pinpoint when my interest dropped for this one. Not that I stopped completely.
Oohh and Kalafina! Their company officially announced disbandment last year and I say I have been a fan since 2009 but I actually took a break from 2012-2015/16 (and ACTUALLY MISSED KALAFINA COMING TO MALAYSIA IN 2012 OMG I'M THE WORST!!! Oh wait that was the hospital period, never mind).
Over the years, so many of this and that, whatever took my interest, they are always in periods of months, sometimes weeks, and rarely years. I never actually fully stop though, I don't think I could do that, because what I am holding on to is the fact that they made me smile, and that's enough for me to take an interest every few days or weeks or months.
And since August, I have been taking an active interest in Astro and BTS. Mostly Astro. They are so adorable gosh help me out I'm falling so deep...
I wish I remember how long it took me to know all ten of HSJ's names and faces and voices. To compare to this thirteen of Astro and BTS, which took around three weeks.
I do remember knowing Yamada from TGQ and Yuto from Nobuta, and that I helplessly crushed on Hika from the Kawaii Kimi no koto da mono 2009 concert while not knowing his name. Who cares, I love them. Ooooh fun fact! I have a strong impression on Arigatou Sekai no doko ni itemo because that was the first single released when I joined fandom! And Dash!! from the first album, the lyrics really resonated with me then, thank you Yuto. I think the last member I pinned down was Inoo, maybe?
Okay, it started a few months ago, during MCO and we can't just go out and stuff, when I just browsed youtube out of boredom. For some reason an Astro fan video was recommended... a Binu video if I'm not mistaken. Moon Bin, I was immediately taken by him and his cute eye smile (but now I'm wavering to Sanha :P). From there some BTS videos were also recommended and guess who I fell for... RM. Kim Namjoon. Dimple dimple. I swear if you send me RM's smiley pics all I'm gonna send to you are ASDFGHJKL
Remember I said before that I got into MDZS/CQL through Xiao Zhan? The first six seconds of the Untamed opening and I got hit by that lovely lovely smile ugh help me.
I think, if you want me to get into a fandom, bait me with nice healing smiles... oh wait that was a 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' kinda thing...
But HSJ still felt like home haha. I keep going back to HSJ and it's really the longest constant in my fandom life. I love them, and I can see myself actually still following them for another ten years unless something happens. HSJ still excites me even if I am off going on many other fandom adventures. What can I say, I get bored easily. I read somewhere that in a lecture a person can concentrate only for ten minutes straight before their mind wanders.
Astro is a bit like HSJ I think... the music and overall feeling. Maybe that's why I got so taken with them. They are just so fun and crazy. And they made me install vlive lol I really like hearing Sanha laugh, sounds so happy and mischievous :D that kid, seriously, I want to pat his head. But he is so ridiculously tall.
Also, contents are easy to access too. Although all the voting streaming stuff gave me a headache. I feel so unequipped for everything like, do I have to do everything when I just want to enjoy content...? I'm spoiled by the Jpop scene where I buy physical releases and sit back and enjoy, but Kpop scene also spoiled me with the sheer availability of online stuff. Oh well. I'll just do what I can. Relax, self!
BTS is... well, I will say this first; I didn't really like rap and hiphop. Still don't, but I guess it's... I could tolerate a bit more than I used to, thanks to Hika and Daichan. And it helps when I like the artists I guess. tbh if you recommended me their earlier songs I wouldn't have gotten into them. This is... I read a ffic on AO3 before that made me checkout their MVs and I'm not sure I like them yet...?
I like their mellower songs. Seriously, I love Spring Day, and similar sounding songs. This is also something I have said before; I love sad and melancholic songs. Of course, I haven't gone through their entire discography yet so I'm looking forward to that on my own time.
Oh but I have a... weird story, I think? lol okay, so they have a song called Fire, right? That time, even when I wasn't into BTS, I really love that song. I don't know why. The energy of the song, maybe? haha. I can't explain it. You like what you like, right? My sisters and cousins, they're all ARMYs, and they always play that song when I'm around -.-
Obviously I'll have to steer clear of the more problematic side of the fandom, but that's no more than what I do with HSJ and Kalafina, really. All fandoms have that lower percent of bad fans (aaaah I'm having war flashback to HSJ cancelling concert and Kalafina solo antis...). If they're very troublesome just report and block, if I don't agree just ignore, I don't engage and don't look for trouble. Like with HSJ, my mantra was focus on HSJ, not the fans. I have to constantly remind myself why I enter fandom, that is, I want to see the artists, I want to relax with this hobby, be entertained, enjoying myself, look for what I like. Though sometimes I forget myself... a constant push and pull of reminders lol. When I forget I get mad at myself :'(
Alright, let's get back to my ten year HSJ celebrations! I just wanted to do what I've been doing before for my birthdays; stay up 24 hours. Watch HSJ. Be lazy. Cry over H.our Time. Cry over yet another release without Keito. Eh.
Ooh maybe finally finish Kiokuya and K2 huhuhu
Again, sorry for near non-existent summaries of itajan list, I'm just really not into watching lately... Is there more subs for itajan besides the short ones people did on twitter and instagram? *sigh*
The takeaway; I don't let go of things that made me smile.