Talk about the kids
I came back home last night after spending 4 days in my parent's place. maybe that wasn't a good idea but then my reasons were:
1. i was watching millie jane
2. i was playing maplestory and my own computer can't do it.
so when i came back, grandma went on a rampage on what her opinions about my mother making her to be a manipulative, conniving, evil liar who uses charm and a slick tongue to convince people that little aunt and grandma are crazy and going senile.
saying that wendy's situation turned to be this way and judy's too because she was bad at parenting. That she was a bad role model. That me and my dad are being blinded and manipulated by her charming words.
she had told me had been sleepless for a couple of nights now. when she wakes up, she cries about what has happened that our family is breaking apart and she blames mom for it.
she also wants me to move out for the following reasons:
1. to better watch over my sister because she deems my mother incompetent of parenting. i happen to agree with her in some aspects. she has a night job. if not for that, there wont be enough for rent. i kind of regret telling grandma that judy is "misbehaving." i should have said, "she is doing teenagery, rebelious and forgetful things." it gave her more ammo to prove that my mother is a bad parent. can you detect high stress here?
2. grandma can barely survive with the government money that she gets every month. and she is able to put food on the table because she goes to food banks to get loads of food every week. she thinks that my mom thinks that eating those are getting me in bad health. she does not want my mom to blame her if i get sick from eating the food she collects from food banks. i find this claim of hers to be unfounded since i don't eat the stuff from the can except for tuna. and i can read expiration dates and nutrition labels. i know myself what a can with botulism looks like and what to not consume.
3. to prove to my mother that she does not need a bigger apartment. apparently, because of my mother's incessant gossiping to the Chinatown shop ladies, it was transferred to grandma that she was only able to keep a 2 bedroom apartment because I was living with her. so by kicking me out, she can get a smaller one bedroom apartment where she can live by herself and more importantly, prove to my mother that she does not need her. I admit, i am distancing myself from grandma by living with my parents this weekends. but still. because she had said this, i can't leave her at all. if only my Chinese was better or that I am better at defending my mother to her eyes or if the adults could just mature up and talk. but i think they did that already but no one is really listening.
i don't know. this sucks.
i admit, my mother is not the best mom in the world. she can be gossipy, exaggerating, and lying at me for all i know. but she tries her best and she has her best intentions in her heart, her kids. she works hard to pay rent and utilities AND for the baby because wendy and jomar's salaries cannot match up. what do you expect with both parents working in fast food? she kept us clothed through collecting from clothes banks/salvation army. nourished. sometimes over nourished with food, medicinal soups and healthy good food.
my dad is not the meddling sort of person. but when he is wrapped up in a situation, he's extremely lethal as he can pull from memory the most vile things and lay it there and make it hurt. that's what happened in the car ride with Elaine's. i am just the same. but this time, i just listened and said only a few words to grandma. mostly about wendy and the baby. that shitty things happened and we should just move on. wendy is working her hardest to redeem herself. she wants to be in the medical profession. she plans on enrolling to a vocational school to become a Clinical Nursing Assistant. Jomar got a job at McDonalds but honestly, he's doing better. he's not such a bad guy, really. if he had the thought of leaving the baby, he woulda left a year ago. but the baby is not 1 year and a few months.
I wish that we can just start all over. despite the baby. despite wendy and judy. my mom and me.
this sucks. this cannot be forgotten with a good night's sleep. haha.
my sisters and I used to fight as kids. sometimes, it got really big. but without fail, the next morning, we are friends again. all is forgiven. there was no need for apologies. it was just an unconditional bond that no matter what the misgivings maybe, family should not be mad at each other. ever. (well, maybe not if there were abuse and addiction that has gone overboard but even then, there are therapies. although i shouldn't say that, i have never been into one and thus cannot vouch for their effectiveness.)
1. i was watching millie jane
2. i was playing maplestory and my own computer can't do it.
so when i came back, grandma went on a rampage on what her opinions about my mother making her to be a manipulative, conniving, evil liar who uses charm and a slick tongue to convince people that little aunt and grandma are crazy and going senile.
saying that wendy's situation turned to be this way and judy's too because she was bad at parenting. That she was a bad role model. That me and my dad are being blinded and manipulated by her charming words.
she had told me had been sleepless for a couple of nights now. when she wakes up, she cries about what has happened that our family is breaking apart and she blames mom for it.
she also wants me to move out for the following reasons:
1. to better watch over my sister because she deems my mother incompetent of parenting. i happen to agree with her in some aspects. she has a night job. if not for that, there wont be enough for rent. i kind of regret telling grandma that judy is "misbehaving." i should have said, "she is doing teenagery, rebelious and forgetful things." it gave her more ammo to prove that my mother is a bad parent. can you detect high stress here?
2. grandma can barely survive with the government money that she gets every month. and she is able to put food on the table because she goes to food banks to get loads of food every week. she thinks that my mom thinks that eating those are getting me in bad health. she does not want my mom to blame her if i get sick from eating the food she collects from food banks. i find this claim of hers to be unfounded since i don't eat the stuff from the can except for tuna. and i can read expiration dates and nutrition labels. i know myself what a can with botulism looks like and what to not consume.
3. to prove to my mother that she does not need a bigger apartment. apparently, because of my mother's incessant gossiping to the Chinatown shop ladies, it was transferred to grandma that she was only able to keep a 2 bedroom apartment because I was living with her. so by kicking me out, she can get a smaller one bedroom apartment where she can live by herself and more importantly, prove to my mother that she does not need her. I admit, i am distancing myself from grandma by living with my parents this weekends. but still. because she had said this, i can't leave her at all. if only my Chinese was better or that I am better at defending my mother to her eyes or if the adults could just mature up and talk. but i think they did that already but no one is really listening.
i don't know. this sucks.
i admit, my mother is not the best mom in the world. she can be gossipy, exaggerating, and lying at me for all i know. but she tries her best and she has her best intentions in her heart, her kids. she works hard to pay rent and utilities AND for the baby because wendy and jomar's salaries cannot match up. what do you expect with both parents working in fast food? she kept us clothed through collecting from clothes banks/salvation army. nourished. sometimes over nourished with food, medicinal soups and healthy good food.
my dad is not the meddling sort of person. but when he is wrapped up in a situation, he's extremely lethal as he can pull from memory the most vile things and lay it there and make it hurt. that's what happened in the car ride with Elaine's. i am just the same. but this time, i just listened and said only a few words to grandma. mostly about wendy and the baby. that shitty things happened and we should just move on. wendy is working her hardest to redeem herself. she wants to be in the medical profession. she plans on enrolling to a vocational school to become a Clinical Nursing Assistant. Jomar got a job at McDonalds but honestly, he's doing better. he's not such a bad guy, really. if he had the thought of leaving the baby, he woulda left a year ago. but the baby is not 1 year and a few months.
I wish that we can just start all over. despite the baby. despite wendy and judy. my mom and me.
this sucks. this cannot be forgotten with a good night's sleep. haha.
my sisters and I used to fight as kids. sometimes, it got really big. but without fail, the next morning, we are friends again. all is forgiven. there was no need for apologies. it was just an unconditional bond that no matter what the misgivings maybe, family should not be mad at each other. ever. (well, maybe not if there were abuse and addiction that has gone overboard but even then, there are therapies. although i shouldn't say that, i have never been into one and thus cannot vouch for their effectiveness.)