(no subject)
i thought i had a high tolerance of pain...so why does this hurt so bad? I thought i knew exactly how i felt, however......i couldn't sleep at all last night. I just tossed and turned in bed thinking really hard about something, but nothing at the same time. Now all the feelings i thought i felt before are gone, and in there place came a whirwind of pain, happiness, laughter, confusion, amazement, anger at myself, goosebumps, and maybe something else. He's probably the only person who can make me blush...i know that sounds stupid, but i don't ever blush. But in his presence, i always feel a sudden warmth that i try to beat down, but always evades my efforts and makes itself known through my face. He's also the only person who has ever made me smile so much but at the same time want to cry. Why am i so stupid?! What is wrong with me? Why am i so weak? I thought i was stronger than this, i thought i was in control, I thought i was OK, but as always, timed proved me wrong...