The PMS Queen & the Poser
Ugh. Depressed. I am the PMS queen.
Been rather sad & lonely this week. Singlehood is finally kicking in, and the "i am free!" novelty is wearing off. Or is it only begining to take effect? I dunno which way this sorta stuff usually goes, when you start being happy and alive again, all i know is this week seems to suck extra bad.
On a totally different note, just realized today that someone who i think i know pretty well is a total poser (poseur? i dunno, such an angsty-90s-teen word). Does all sortsa stuff that is not in any way kosher, and yet passes themself off as being not only on the level, but better than most. And somehow i've been buying into it, accepting the justifications for their actions, and aiding and abeting them in covering up their tracks. It's not like I'm smuggling coke from Colombia here (ah, my high school days...), nothing illegal, just morally questionable. & they seem to believe it so much themselves. If I'm going along with all this, albeit grudgingly now, how do i know i'm not just as bad? How do i know i haven't fooled myself into thinking i am someone much better and sweeter than i actually am?
Ok, that's deep enough for one night.
-@
Been rather sad & lonely this week. Singlehood is finally kicking in, and the "i am free!" novelty is wearing off. Or is it only begining to take effect? I dunno which way this sorta stuff usually goes, when you start being happy and alive again, all i know is this week seems to suck extra bad.
On a totally different note, just realized today that someone who i think i know pretty well is a total poser (poseur? i dunno, such an angsty-90s-teen word). Does all sortsa stuff that is not in any way kosher, and yet passes themself off as being not only on the level, but better than most. And somehow i've been buying into it, accepting the justifications for their actions, and aiding and abeting them in covering up their tracks. It's not like I'm smuggling coke from Colombia here (ah, my high school days...), nothing illegal, just morally questionable. & they seem to believe it so much themselves. If I'm going along with all this, albeit grudgingly now, how do i know i'm not just as bad? How do i know i haven't fooled myself into thinking i am someone much better and sweeter than i actually am?
Ok, that's deep enough for one night.
-@