3 days later
I'm still shocked. It's as if a part of me is completely gone now. I know she'll always be with me, in my heart and mind, but it doesn't change the feeling. I won't ever again see that smile, or hear that snort when she laughs. I feel like a rotten friend right now. I never went down to hang out like we planned, never made it to any of the parties. Something always came up. I wish I could go back and change that, make the time. The service is Friday, then it will truly be final. I keep wishing and praying that this is some horrible dream and I'll wake up and get a phone call or a message from her, cheering me up and making me chuckle as usual. I know it isn't, and I know I won't, but the hope is still there.