Been a while
I dont know what to say right now except that I would rather be playing my DDR and working my ass off in the case of fitness, but my sister likes to watch TV here on sundays, and so i find myself in my room typing and pecking away depressingly at blogs. I decided to update this one for one reason or another. I wish had more to do with my friends and stuff, and that I had more money.
Speaking of money my job just sucks more and more as the days drag on. They are only having 3 people work on sunday in my department and seeing that it is the busiest day, it seems stupid to cut hours on such a day. So i have to get two people's work done by myself in two hours, which i was nearly successful. but when i mentioned that it would be hard to do it all on my own, my manager said, and i quote "If you cant do it then we'll have to find someone who can." Well, fuck her, she cant even bag a fish let alone knowing how to do anything in my department. Not even my immediate manager can do any of this stuff in just 2 hours. In fact i had to clean up after her yesterday and it was such a mess that i didnt finish cleaning up after her until today. Maybe I should just get a new job and fuck this one. But i need flexibility and not be paid minimum wage. Because as of now I'm barely scraping by.
I dont know why i feel so out of it and dark. i feel really dark.
i have to start writing a paper about the separation of church and state. While I am passionate about the subject and have read so many books and seen documnetaries, i am having hard time trying to figure out how to start it. I have to have something on tuesday. But this is me we're talking about, I know I can and will do it, and will enjoy writing it. Its just, i dont want to do anything right now. I hate being so invisible at school and work, and I want to be rebellious but whats the point in that, honestly? I find myself with such a cynical attitude. But i like to talk to people, and when i do i feel really so much better having interactions. But I dont know how to be blunt about it, and i mostly feel like it doesnt matter, that i should and have been meant to be alone....it just i feel a little to empty....even amongst people.
Speaking of money my job just sucks more and more as the days drag on. They are only having 3 people work on sunday in my department and seeing that it is the busiest day, it seems stupid to cut hours on such a day. So i have to get two people's work done by myself in two hours, which i was nearly successful. but when i mentioned that it would be hard to do it all on my own, my manager said, and i quote "If you cant do it then we'll have to find someone who can." Well, fuck her, she cant even bag a fish let alone knowing how to do anything in my department. Not even my immediate manager can do any of this stuff in just 2 hours. In fact i had to clean up after her yesterday and it was such a mess that i didnt finish cleaning up after her until today. Maybe I should just get a new job and fuck this one. But i need flexibility and not be paid minimum wage. Because as of now I'm barely scraping by.
I dont know why i feel so out of it and dark. i feel really dark.
i have to start writing a paper about the separation of church and state. While I am passionate about the subject and have read so many books and seen documnetaries, i am having hard time trying to figure out how to start it. I have to have something on tuesday. But this is me we're talking about, I know I can and will do it, and will enjoy writing it. Its just, i dont want to do anything right now. I hate being so invisible at school and work, and I want to be rebellious but whats the point in that, honestly? I find myself with such a cynical attitude. But i like to talk to people, and when i do i feel really so much better having interactions. But I dont know how to be blunt about it, and i mostly feel like it doesnt matter, that i should and have been meant to be alone....it just i feel a little to empty....even amongst people.