Those High School Days
It's been more than a year since I have seen anyone with whom I attended high school. It's been a year for many good reasons: distance, annoyance, and idiocy. I'm not alone in the fact I couldn't stand a good portion of the people in my graduating class. The last time I saw any of them was on graduation day, for the next day I was traveling to Virginia to spend the summer before college with my dad. And the commencement of fall classes would not bring me in contact with any of them since I chose an out-of-state school. I'm currently gettin' lucky in Kentucky!
Though I have not seen any of them, I have to a mere handful of my 250 or so friends on facebook. To be sure, I am friends with just about everyone in my honours classes. However, some of them I haven't spoken to since AP exam day or the last day of classes. The people I do talk to I do so once in a while, never daily or very often. They will talk about how much they miss me, but never make plans beyond that and I'm okay with it. I don't expect them to go out of their way to visit me. If they wanted to really, they would have by now.
Anyway, over the past few weeks, people have been talking to me. One friend from high school professed his love for me and I feel as if this shouldn't be happening for at least a few more years. But here we are, waxing over our high school memories. Particularly AP English class, altercations and teachers. Prom was a big whole mess for me. To be sure, no one wants to be constantly reminded that their ex high school sweetheart is allowing some girl to grind on him. Let me be frank, I could have chosen juicier words, but it's not worth it. That feels like so utterly long ago, that it's pointless to dredge it up. Yet, here I am.
In some cases, talking to these people makes it feel like high school again, we still have the same problems and always share the same memories. But nowadays, we're in different places: Colorado, Texas, Kentucky, South Carolina, Korea. It's nice to have someone with whom you can connect when you're tired of not having those old friends around. Though it's only via internet, I miss talking to my friends. I miss a lot of people and things, some I should not.
Yet, things are still different in a way, you know? We're older and we've experienced different things. Some people I'd never expect to have a serious relationship do and I, who was consistently in a serious relationship, am lacking one. In the end, my closest friends from high school all want the same thing: love. And none of us can find it.
People used to joke that at our 10 year reunion I'd show up with Will or Thomas. Because those two seemed to be constantly by my side. The former always a friend, the latter always a lover. Those two cannot be anything else to me. I can never really be friends with Thomas and I can never be a girlfriend to Will. And it's funny because both wanted it differently. But, that's life. Well, that was high school life. We've all definitely outgrown it. But there's always the tiniest feeling, isn't there?
Today, I started to watch "They Kiss" and I couldn't help but think about what my married life will be like. Will I even get married? I'm only nineteen and here I go reminiscing about high school days and thinking about marriage. That is seriously not good.
I just want to graduate with good grades and take my foreign service officer exam...after I read up on what exactly it's like to be a diplomat though. I think I'd be quite good at it. I want to teach English too though! And preserve dying languages. I'm sure I can do all of that, right? Marriage can wait. Boys can wait. It can ALL wait.
Though I have not seen any of them, I have to a mere handful of my 250 or so friends on facebook. To be sure, I am friends with just about everyone in my honours classes. However, some of them I haven't spoken to since AP exam day or the last day of classes. The people I do talk to I do so once in a while, never daily or very often. They will talk about how much they miss me, but never make plans beyond that and I'm okay with it. I don't expect them to go out of their way to visit me. If they wanted to really, they would have by now.
Anyway, over the past few weeks, people have been talking to me. One friend from high school professed his love for me and I feel as if this shouldn't be happening for at least a few more years. But here we are, waxing over our high school memories. Particularly AP English class, altercations and teachers. Prom was a big whole mess for me. To be sure, no one wants to be constantly reminded that their ex high school sweetheart is allowing some girl to grind on him. Let me be frank, I could have chosen juicier words, but it's not worth it. That feels like so utterly long ago, that it's pointless to dredge it up. Yet, here I am.
In some cases, talking to these people makes it feel like high school again, we still have the same problems and always share the same memories. But nowadays, we're in different places: Colorado, Texas, Kentucky, South Carolina, Korea. It's nice to have someone with whom you can connect when you're tired of not having those old friends around. Though it's only via internet, I miss talking to my friends. I miss a lot of people and things, some I should not.
Yet, things are still different in a way, you know? We're older and we've experienced different things. Some people I'd never expect to have a serious relationship do and I, who was consistently in a serious relationship, am lacking one. In the end, my closest friends from high school all want the same thing: love. And none of us can find it.
People used to joke that at our 10 year reunion I'd show up with Will or Thomas. Because those two seemed to be constantly by my side. The former always a friend, the latter always a lover. Those two cannot be anything else to me. I can never really be friends with Thomas and I can never be a girlfriend to Will. And it's funny because both wanted it differently. But, that's life. Well, that was high school life. We've all definitely outgrown it. But there's always the tiniest feeling, isn't there?
Today, I started to watch "They Kiss" and I couldn't help but think about what my married life will be like. Will I even get married? I'm only nineteen and here I go reminiscing about high school days and thinking about marriage. That is seriously not good.
I just want to graduate with good grades and take my foreign service officer exam...after I read up on what exactly it's like to be a diplomat though. I think I'd be quite good at it. I want to teach English too though! And preserve dying languages. I'm sure I can do all of that, right? Marriage can wait. Boys can wait. It can ALL wait.