BOREDOM
Well, it's been a while since I have written, but here I am...lot's of things have happened in such a short period of time I feel like I have lived a thousand years...
Let's start from the beginning...everyone ready? Good!
#1-My fiancee of three years, and I broke it off...well, actually I broke it off. When you ask me why I really couldn't tell you, other than I just wasn't happy. It seems that for my mind and for everyone else that is a good enough answer, but not for him...I guess I understand. I mean, I really do understand where his confusion is coming from...but he keeps asking me why I wasn't happy, and all I can say is that "I wasn't happy then, and now I am." So...what do you want from me? It's been a struggle, but I think it's getting a little better...we are actually on speaking terms now. =)
#2-My friend's have been really great! They have supported me through EVERYTHING! I mean everything!! My friends now are the best I have ever had in my life! I mean, how could you not love them?? They are caring, loving, truthful, and just awesome...I'm going to now take a minute to recognize them...
Jacko
Memidas
Sue Ellen
Mikey
Gravity
Brandon
Parlayin
Rourouni
Kristina
Misti
Heather
You have all been so freakin' awesome! I love you all and wouldn't replace you for the world!!!
#3-I had a relationship shortly after my fiancee, that I thought would take me to the moon...I was wrong. But, if it wasn't meant to be, if it wasn't written in the stars...who am I to argue? I can't...well, I can, but I won't get me anywhere. =( But it wasn't all bad you know...actually it was hardly bad at all. This man was the most sensual, passionate, caring, beautiful person ever...I'm sure he still is, just not for me. Oh well, I only hope that whom ever he choses will be as happy and floating with him as I was. My love for him was true and pure, and will always be there, and I hope he knows that...I'm sure he does.
#4-I found out my mom has type 2 diabetes...wow! That was a shocker...I mean, she had gestational diabetes when she was pregnant w/my sisters but the doctor said the chance of her getting type 2 after that was slim to none! I love my mother so much and anything that happens to her hurts me to the bones...I mean, without my mother, I am nothing. She is my rock! I love her with all of my heart and I just couldn't stand to not have her by my side. You know when she dies, you might as well just put me away, because I will be a basket case and worthless.
#5-My best friend of a gazillion years and I stopped being friends in one night of torturous screaming! It's a long story, but pretty much, I really didn't care that night and just told her to leave my property and never return...but on a good side we just started talking again after a year of silence. I'm keeping a safe distance though, because she has a tendency to suck you into her vortex and leave you there while laughing at you the whole time, and telling you how great she thinks she is...oh..god!...shhhh...got to get out of that "hate" mindset.
#6-You know, when you have nothing or noone but yourself to think about you begin to think some pretty strange things...and for a period of about a month I thought I was completely and utterly crazy....I'm talking psycotic...put me in a straight jacket crazy....you see, when I'm sad, happy, well basically when I am feeling anything, I write...and when the, above mentioned after fiancee, relationship fell apart I was sad...and the things that fell out of my pen were really scary! I mean, I have never written anything like that in my life...but then after I would write it I would feel REALLY good...so, then I started to think that it was just my way of healing...so, I guess I'm not crazy after all...just...um...relieving stress in a way.
Well, that's enough rambling for now!!!!
Talk to you guys later.
~~Peace
Let's start from the beginning...everyone ready? Good!
#1-My fiancee of three years, and I broke it off...well, actually I broke it off. When you ask me why I really couldn't tell you, other than I just wasn't happy. It seems that for my mind and for everyone else that is a good enough answer, but not for him...I guess I understand. I mean, I really do understand where his confusion is coming from...but he keeps asking me why I wasn't happy, and all I can say is that "I wasn't happy then, and now I am." So...what do you want from me? It's been a struggle, but I think it's getting a little better...we are actually on speaking terms now. =)
#2-My friend's have been really great! They have supported me through EVERYTHING! I mean everything!! My friends now are the best I have ever had in my life! I mean, how could you not love them?? They are caring, loving, truthful, and just awesome...I'm going to now take a minute to recognize them...
Jacko
Memidas
Sue Ellen
Mikey
Gravity
Brandon
Parlayin
Rourouni
Kristina
Misti
Heather
You have all been so freakin' awesome! I love you all and wouldn't replace you for the world!!!
#3-I had a relationship shortly after my fiancee, that I thought would take me to the moon...I was wrong. But, if it wasn't meant to be, if it wasn't written in the stars...who am I to argue? I can't...well, I can, but I won't get me anywhere. =( But it wasn't all bad you know...actually it was hardly bad at all. This man was the most sensual, passionate, caring, beautiful person ever...I'm sure he still is, just not for me. Oh well, I only hope that whom ever he choses will be as happy and floating with him as I was. My love for him was true and pure, and will always be there, and I hope he knows that...I'm sure he does.
#4-I found out my mom has type 2 diabetes...wow! That was a shocker...I mean, she had gestational diabetes when she was pregnant w/my sisters but the doctor said the chance of her getting type 2 after that was slim to none! I love my mother so much and anything that happens to her hurts me to the bones...I mean, without my mother, I am nothing. She is my rock! I love her with all of my heart and I just couldn't stand to not have her by my side. You know when she dies, you might as well just put me away, because I will be a basket case and worthless.
#5-My best friend of a gazillion years and I stopped being friends in one night of torturous screaming! It's a long story, but pretty much, I really didn't care that night and just told her to leave my property and never return...but on a good side we just started talking again after a year of silence. I'm keeping a safe distance though, because she has a tendency to suck you into her vortex and leave you there while laughing at you the whole time, and telling you how great she thinks she is...oh..god!...shhhh...got to get out of that "hate" mindset.
#6-You know, when you have nothing or noone but yourself to think about you begin to think some pretty strange things...and for a period of about a month I thought I was completely and utterly crazy....I'm talking psycotic...put me in a straight jacket crazy....you see, when I'm sad, happy, well basically when I am feeling anything, I write...and when the, above mentioned after fiancee, relationship fell apart I was sad...and the things that fell out of my pen were really scary! I mean, I have never written anything like that in my life...but then after I would write it I would feel REALLY good...so, then I started to think that it was just my way of healing...so, I guess I'm not crazy after all...just...um...relieving stress in a way.
Well, that's enough rambling for now!!!!
Talk to you guys later.
~~Peace