i hope that the train from caribou maine runs over your new love affair

[anna_____karina]

i am having one of the worst days in months.
i don't really understand why austin rules so much,
maybe it's because i can't go out and drink,
but would i if i could? i do not know,.

i do know, sleeping alone is really hard
i finally fall to sleep around three or four and
usually wake up around nine, ten at the latest.
i love to sleep but it really hates me right now

i started my period today, i think as soon
as i saw blood i started getting in this mood.
it was a weird thing, and i tried to stray away from
getting really shitty but it did not work.

i have been listening to too much gram parsons
why don't people make country music like this anymore?

after turning nineteen i really did feel older
i paid my first real bill the next day, i had a
really good birthday with my two favorite girls
hannah brought me a bottle of champage and we
drank that together
carly got me really nice gifts and took me to eat
my mother made me a really cozy blanket and i love
her with all my heart. she is the only person i know
i will never stop loving.

sean is in california. most of the time i know i will
be with him for the rest of my life but then everyone
else tells me different. it sucks to have no one on our side
i trust and believe in him more than anyone ever will
i feel like no one could love me as much as he loves me
i feel his love through the phone lines and even when
he is away i know he is really with me mentally.
that is why i don't understand why i am so shitty right now
damn periodddddd, it's hard to do this

i also feel i am getting uglier with age, that's another
thing that really blows. my face has changed. it really has
so has my outlook on some things, in a good way maybe
hopefully

i want my home covered in flowers

i miss this