(no subject)
i hate this i hate every inch of this stupid stupidness dad came by today and i could hardly stand to be around him o and i found out that if i get sad my mom feels bad and if i get mad my mom feels bad and if i feel sorry my mom feels bad so now i am trapped by fake happiness and i have to feel good all the time and its sooo stupid my mom wasnt even gonna come to our state competition on saturday the last competition the big one helloooo watever and now shes making a big todo about how she'll change her whole schedule around and get up at five in the morning to be there and stuff i dont even want her to come now i just want a day where the whole house is to myself and where no one comes home at night then i could do watever i want and feel however i want and i could cry and listen to loud music and not waste time on silly things like cleanng my room o and i could sleep when i was tired i got so mad at my dad the other day cause i was really tired casue i havent been sleeping well at night and my mom was like anna get up do something productve and my dad was like come on anna help out why are you just laying there and i just wanted to scream at him that it was his fault i cant sleep at night and his fault i cant concentrate on anything and that i wanted him out of our house but no i couldnt do that becasue that would cause and uproar and spoil this false reality that we are living in right now i hate it i hate everything right now