Hating myself

[ann_imal]

Last week my fellow supervisor was sick all week. On top of all of my own work I also had some of hers. I was extremely busy and stressed and strung out. There were a few times in there that I was careless and forgetful but no one died and everything was eventually solved. My boss called me in his office on Thursday and talked to me as if my being forgetful and careless as a common occurrence. I was so stressed that this made me tear up and I couldnt look at him in the eye it was humiliating but he was tottaly unaffected by my emotional response. He even accused me of not caring about the disabled individuals that we look after and that just made me angry.

This really bothers me then on Friday he was still talking to me like I was untrustworthy and stupid. He'll stand there and stare at me and say things like Why didn't you do this or why did you forget this then wait for an answer. I desperately wanted to say how stressed I was but it wouldn't matter to him. He askes questions so accusingly toward me that he makes me feel like a lair even tough I have never once lied to him to cover my own ass. I take my job very seriously and I never take breaks I even eat over my work. I wish he'd just leave me alone this being under a microscope is really killing my self esteem. I want to say something but it would probably just backfire on me and come out wrong as most everything I say at work does. I feel so socially retarded.

I am seriously considering changing my chosen profession because of this job. I am just too awkward and spastic in social situations.