No good can come of this.
The house next door is for sale. That means that whoever moves in might be my neighbors for the REST OF MY LIFE. Maybe not, but maybe so. I find this really stressful... I have no control over it. I'm trying, though. Whenever I see unsavory types looking at the house(a woman in a white sweatshirt emblazoned with an American flag and her mullet headed husband) I tell Dave to play his bass really loud and let the dogs out to bark at them. But I can't watch the house all the time, Dave isn't here very often, and I don't know that the dogs are a big enough deterent. I just want to get it over with, good or bad. This constant parade of potential lifetime neighbors is driving me mad.
I used to like gawking at (and sometimes fighting with) my neighbors, but I am so over that. Sure, it gave me something to write about, but after living in a peaceful neighborhood for so long I've grown accustomed to the stability. The only stuff that goes on around here is the senile man next door might wander around his yard in his pajamas or the spandex wearing man behind us might throw one of his outdoor karaoke parties. Which is a pretty terrible sound, but only happens twice a year.
To be honest, now that the stinky slob people moved out and the house next door was remodeled and put up for sale, we are the bad people in the neighborhood. We make the most noise overall, and in the summer we make even more noise really late at night. We've mostly always been the loudest people on the block, but we don't have a bunch of junk on our front porch or let our half naked babies wander around at dusk all alone or go sit in our pick-up truck to have loud arguments. Granted, we don't even have any half naked babies, but that is exactly why we're not like those people. So now I want to keep our status as the worst neighbors on the block, because I feel that our noisiness is generally good natured and we would never let raw sewage seep out of our walls for weeks on end. Like those people did.
No neglected babies, no mullets, no American flags, no Sports Utility Vehicles... and I don't no what else, but I am sure I will know it when I see it.
I used to like gawking at (and sometimes fighting with) my neighbors, but I am so over that. Sure, it gave me something to write about, but after living in a peaceful neighborhood for so long I've grown accustomed to the stability. The only stuff that goes on around here is the senile man next door might wander around his yard in his pajamas or the spandex wearing man behind us might throw one of his outdoor karaoke parties. Which is a pretty terrible sound, but only happens twice a year.
To be honest, now that the stinky slob people moved out and the house next door was remodeled and put up for sale, we are the bad people in the neighborhood. We make the most noise overall, and in the summer we make even more noise really late at night. We've mostly always been the loudest people on the block, but we don't have a bunch of junk on our front porch or let our half naked babies wander around at dusk all alone or go sit in our pick-up truck to have loud arguments. Granted, we don't even have any half naked babies, but that is exactly why we're not like those people. So now I want to keep our status as the worst neighbors on the block, because I feel that our noisiness is generally good natured and we would never let raw sewage seep out of our walls for weeks on end. Like those people did.
No neglected babies, no mullets, no American flags, no Sports Utility Vehicles... and I don't no what else, but I am sure I will know it when I see it.