Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde
I'm very distraught because I believe that I may have lost a polaroid picture of my dad from when I was a child. It is a very important picture because it captured my dad doing this thing, having this certain look, that is just... Oh, it is hard to explain, but it was so very much my dad and this thing he did, this crazy look he would have on his face that meant we were either about to have a lot of fun or a very bad time. You could never tell, it could go either way with him. I can still look at that picture and get that feeling like when I was six years old, like a doe in the woods, frozen in place, all senses tuned in, waiting for a sign. To jump in his arms or go running to hide under my bed.
That is not to say that my Dad beat on me or anything, but he could be a terror in other ways. Not somebody that you wanted to be around sometimes. At others times he could be a powerful magnet. And I am getting off topic. The topic is the picture and how I need to have it.
And there is not another picture like it on earth, I know. The fact that the picture exists... I feel like it is sort of like... having a real life picture of Big Foot or the Loch Ness Monster or something. I mean it.
I am afraid I lost it because we just did this shuffling about and moving of furniture from my bedroom and I threw out some trunks and boxes and things, and that picture was floating around loose because I never put it in an album. I didn't because I often liked to pick it up and look at it and then I would sit it down on a dresser or a trunk to be picked up later when I wanted to see it again. Sometimes it would get shuffled in with books or papers and I wouldn't see it for months and then I'd find it again and it would be like a great surprise, "Oh! There he is!" How could I be so careless? I was so obsessed with it, I think, that it actually made me careless.
I could have at least put it in a frame, that would have made it easier to keep up with. But now. I don't know.
That is not to say that my Dad beat on me or anything, but he could be a terror in other ways. Not somebody that you wanted to be around sometimes. At others times he could be a powerful magnet. And I am getting off topic. The topic is the picture and how I need to have it.
And there is not another picture like it on earth, I know. The fact that the picture exists... I feel like it is sort of like... having a real life picture of Big Foot or the Loch Ness Monster or something. I mean it.
I am afraid I lost it because we just did this shuffling about and moving of furniture from my bedroom and I threw out some trunks and boxes and things, and that picture was floating around loose because I never put it in an album. I didn't because I often liked to pick it up and look at it and then I would sit it down on a dresser or a trunk to be picked up later when I wanted to see it again. Sometimes it would get shuffled in with books or papers and I wouldn't see it for months and then I'd find it again and it would be like a great surprise, "Oh! There he is!" How could I be so careless? I was so obsessed with it, I think, that it actually made me careless.
I could have at least put it in a frame, that would have made it easier to keep up with. But now. I don't know.