WK drabbles: Help Me, Mastermind! 4 & 5, Dear Ex-'Persia', The Next Morning 4 & 5, Dear Aya
Final set of drabbles in this series. Phew!
Title: Help Me, Mastermind! 4
Character: Surprise
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100 - 6 drabbles in total
Series: Set after Kapitel, disregards Gluhen
***
Help Me, Mastermind!
You are a sad, sick bastard, but you do give good advice when it suits your purposes. I’ve taken a number of steps to improve my situation. You could say I’m a whole other person now.
I seem to have less friends these days, and could use some allies. How would I find qualified individuals? And how do you suggest I court them? Money, influence and an excellent health care plan are offered, but I foresee further negotiations would be required.
Reply soon. Did you know I just acquired controlling interest of The Asahi Shimbun?
Kisses!
Ex-‘Persia’
Title: Dear Ex-‘Persia’
Character: Schuldig
Rating: G
Word Count: 100 - 6 drabbles in total
Series: Set after Kapitel, disregards Gluhen
***
Dear Ex-‘Persia,’
It is always a pleasure to hear from my readers, especially when they have taken my advice to heart. Back-handed compliments are still compliments, you know.
I’m no expert on negotiations, but a very successful businessman that I’m acquainted with believes you are on the right track. Don’t be surprised if you don’t have to search too hard for allies; in fact, they may come looking for you first. It’s amazing how common interests can bring people together.
My allies prefer gifts of weapons, computer gadgets and ugly ties. Me? I could use a raise.
Extra Kisses!
Mastermind
Title: The Next Morning 4
Characters: Schwarz
Rating: G
Word Count: 100 - 6 drabbles in total
Series: Set after Kapitel, disregards Gluhen
***
“Weapons? Good idea!” Farfarello enthused.
“Computer gadgets?” Nagi questioned. “Acceptable.”
“Ugly ties?” Crawford complained. “Where did you get that ridiculous idea?”
“From your closet,” Schuldig replied. “I don’t want your current monstrosities to get lonely.”
“Shut up,” Crawford ordered. “Nagi, finish your breakfast. You and I have a meeting with Takatori Mamoru this afternoon.”
“That was quick,” Nagi commented. “He found us already?”
Crawford smiled. “I didn’t say Takatori knew about this meeting, did I?”
“That’s my Crawford,” Schuldig said, then opened the next envelope in his pile of correspondence. His eyes widened.
“Hey! My salary got doubled!” Schuldig cheered.
Title: Help Me, Mastermind! 5
Character: Surprise
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100 - 6 drabbles in total
Series: Set after Kapitel, disregards Gluhen
***
Help Me, Mastermind!
I do not like you. I especially do not like your name - bad memories. However, I am desperate, and need your advice.
My sixteen year old boss just fired me. One of my former co-workers keeps hitting on me. I tell him I’m not gay, but he won’t take no for an answer. Another person keeps challenging me to fights whenever we disagree about something. I would just ignore him, but he mutters things like “not a doormat” and “I’ve give you a gaping chest wound.” It’s all very strange.
What should I do?
Shine,
Aya
Title: Dear Aya
Character: Schuldig
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100 - 6 drabbles in total
Series: Set after Kapitel, disregards Gluhen
***
Dear Aya,
That’s one very stupid name you have there: not too many guys go by ‘Aya.’ Are you sure you’re not gay? Do you wear a long, dangling earring? No wonder that guy keeps hitting on you; you’re sending him mixed signals.
Go ahead and fight that other guy. It’s a good way to deal with aggression, plus release some of that homoerotic sexual tension building up inside you.
Maybe you should consider a new career? I suggest Banking - seems like a safe, stable occupation.
Tell me: are you having nightmares? Am I in them?
Find me.
Kisses!
Mastermind
Title: The Next Morning 5
Characters: Schuldig, Farfarello, Nagi
Rating: G
Word Count: 100 - 6 drabbles in total
Series: Set after Kapitel, disregards Gluhen
***
“That wasn’t an appropriate response for an advice column,” Farfarello commented.
“I agree,” Nagi chimed in. “That was a direct challenge to Fujimiya. Are you trying to get yourself killed?”
“Didn’t you read that this was my last column?” Schuldig said. “I quit.”
“You can’t quit!” Farfarello cried out. “ I need my daily fix!”
“They are taking applications,” Schuldig pointed out. “I could recommend you.”
Farfarello decided this was satisfactory.
“Why quit?” Nagi asked.
“I need time for my new hobby,” Schuldig replied.
“New hobby?” Farfarello and Nagi asked in unison.
“Sure,” Schuldig replied. “It’s called Fujimiya Ran.”
Title: Help Me, Mastermind! 4
Character: Surprise
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100 - 6 drabbles in total
Series: Set after Kapitel, disregards Gluhen
***
Help Me, Mastermind!
You are a sad, sick bastard, but you do give good advice when it suits your purposes. I’ve taken a number of steps to improve my situation. You could say I’m a whole other person now.
I seem to have less friends these days, and could use some allies. How would I find qualified individuals? And how do you suggest I court them? Money, influence and an excellent health care plan are offered, but I foresee further negotiations would be required.
Reply soon. Did you know I just acquired controlling interest of The Asahi Shimbun?
Kisses!
Ex-‘Persia’
Title: Dear Ex-‘Persia’
Character: Schuldig
Rating: G
Word Count: 100 - 6 drabbles in total
Series: Set after Kapitel, disregards Gluhen
***
Dear Ex-‘Persia,’
It is always a pleasure to hear from my readers, especially when they have taken my advice to heart. Back-handed compliments are still compliments, you know.
I’m no expert on negotiations, but a very successful businessman that I’m acquainted with believes you are on the right track. Don’t be surprised if you don’t have to search too hard for allies; in fact, they may come looking for you first. It’s amazing how common interests can bring people together.
My allies prefer gifts of weapons, computer gadgets and ugly ties. Me? I could use a raise.
Extra Kisses!
Mastermind
Title: The Next Morning 4
Characters: Schwarz
Rating: G
Word Count: 100 - 6 drabbles in total
Series: Set after Kapitel, disregards Gluhen
***
“Weapons? Good idea!” Farfarello enthused.
“Computer gadgets?” Nagi questioned. “Acceptable.”
“Ugly ties?” Crawford complained. “Where did you get that ridiculous idea?”
“From your closet,” Schuldig replied. “I don’t want your current monstrosities to get lonely.”
“Shut up,” Crawford ordered. “Nagi, finish your breakfast. You and I have a meeting with Takatori Mamoru this afternoon.”
“That was quick,” Nagi commented. “He found us already?”
Crawford smiled. “I didn’t say Takatori knew about this meeting, did I?”
“That’s my Crawford,” Schuldig said, then opened the next envelope in his pile of correspondence. His eyes widened.
“Hey! My salary got doubled!” Schuldig cheered.
Title: Help Me, Mastermind! 5
Character: Surprise
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100 - 6 drabbles in total
Series: Set after Kapitel, disregards Gluhen
***
Help Me, Mastermind!
I do not like you. I especially do not like your name - bad memories. However, I am desperate, and need your advice.
My sixteen year old boss just fired me. One of my former co-workers keeps hitting on me. I tell him I’m not gay, but he won’t take no for an answer. Another person keeps challenging me to fights whenever we disagree about something. I would just ignore him, but he mutters things like “not a doormat” and “I’ve give you a gaping chest wound.” It’s all very strange.
What should I do?
Shine,
Aya
Title: Dear Aya
Character: Schuldig
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100 - 6 drabbles in total
Series: Set after Kapitel, disregards Gluhen
***
Dear Aya,
That’s one very stupid name you have there: not too many guys go by ‘Aya.’ Are you sure you’re not gay? Do you wear a long, dangling earring? No wonder that guy keeps hitting on you; you’re sending him mixed signals.
Go ahead and fight that other guy. It’s a good way to deal with aggression, plus release some of that homoerotic sexual tension building up inside you.
Maybe you should consider a new career? I suggest Banking - seems like a safe, stable occupation.
Tell me: are you having nightmares? Am I in them?
Find me.
Kisses!
Mastermind
Title: The Next Morning 5
Characters: Schuldig, Farfarello, Nagi
Rating: G
Word Count: 100 - 6 drabbles in total
Series: Set after Kapitel, disregards Gluhen
***
“That wasn’t an appropriate response for an advice column,” Farfarello commented.
“I agree,” Nagi chimed in. “That was a direct challenge to Fujimiya. Are you trying to get yourself killed?”
“Didn’t you read that this was my last column?” Schuldig said. “I quit.”
“You can’t quit!” Farfarello cried out. “ I need my daily fix!”
“They are taking applications,” Schuldig pointed out. “I could recommend you.”
Farfarello decided this was satisfactory.
“Why quit?” Nagi asked.
“I need time for my new hobby,” Schuldig replied.
“New hobby?” Farfarello and Nagi asked in unison.
“Sure,” Schuldig replied. “It’s called Fujimiya Ran.”