trouble sleeping, and it's been 8 months
It's funny to read through your old entries, and see the way you were and the way you are. as I scrolled through it all tonight as i looked for something to do, it was refreshing to get some insight from me, and to know that despite not having been here for such a long time, that to read through it brought back some great feelings. now to jot down the new ones..
So, I left off in january with resolutions and the apartment up in the air. again, it's funny to realize how dismal and hopeless the situation i was in truly was, and in the moment it all seemed like it would "work out", when truly there was nowhere to turn and i should've been a lot more worried than i was. but, realistically, it did all turn out. Abbie moved in, edgar did not, and Terry moved in as well. It was relieving just to get roomates, despite not knowing whether they would truly be good fits or not.
As january turned into february, things settled down finally. I decided to take a college course to get my feet wet and get my mind back into focus. the class was called Music: an appreciation. and it was grueling, but just in terms of getting back into a class and into school, not the workload. the roommate situation seemed great and was, and in early march Gwen made it back out here after saving up and all.
It was great to have gwen's presence here, and still is. Instead of paying 550, we were all paying 410ish, life was more fun, less bland, and all in all everything was good and still is. abbie turned out to be a great fit; she goes to school like myself, is laid-back and doesn't do anything over the top, etc. And not to downplay that terry is a good person, because he is a compassionate person who is truly good, he wasn't a fit for our apartment. He brought parties back many times, unannounced, we had a couple of HUGE parties on behalf with well over 50 people and kegs and the whole shibang. and not to say it wasnt enjoyable at moments, but it was overall a pain in the butt to have it under our roof, where we sleep, where we live. but the time flew by, it turned out how it turned out, and eventually terry ended up leaving a bit early on the lease do to his mother's deteriorating health. thank god she's doing well now, and his abrupt departure left us hanging pretty tight, but again, we made it out and all is good.
I also bought a beautiful, amazing shiba-inu from my friend from work Grace. I heard she was having a litter of shiba's, and in knowing how rare the opportunity it was, and getting the discount of $700 dollars (which for a shiba inu is DIRT cheap), I had to seize the opportunity. The name they had for her was scout, but gwen and myself renamed her Kaiah. She was maybe the size of a rectangular tissue box when I got her, she was so precious. She's grown now to be a little bit smaller than the size of Rufus, but she is still a beautiful dog nonetheless, and I am so glad that I got her when I did.
Over the months from march to june, the main focus was getting gwen settled. to get her a car, get her a job, get her settled in every way imaginable so she could lead a comfortable life and get acclimated just as i did. unfortunately, the ride was, and is, still a bumpy one. March all the way through june, it was job search after search after application after application, all coming up short. I took my transferred job from MA for granted, and it never occurred to me the difficulty of getting a job in this economy. And eventually, I did convince my manager because of her experience and closeness to me to give her a shot, and they did with success. She started at olive garden and everything was and is well there.
gwen also needed a mode of transportation; now, that was difficult in its own right, and is now even more so. Without the $ to buy a car, we were forced to look elsewhere. I knew my car's problem (or i thought I did), and finally after weeks of searching found it in a junkyard on another car. Pete and myself spliced the wiring into the cougar and after 6 months, vwa-la! it came back to life. So it was great to have the cougar function able for gwen for several months, but it was short lived unfortunately. About a month ago the cougar's transmission seemingly gave out. Not being good with cars, i am assuming it has blown but can't be sure, yet dont even have the money to get it checked out. So the transportation department has dwindled and seems dismal, but we'll see what we can work out for gwen.
So once terry left, we were left hanging. we knew no one to room with, knew of no one looking for a room to rent, and didn't know where to turn. as strange as it was, we turned to somewhere i never thought we would; craigslist. It seemed sketchy at first, but ironically as it may be, we set up a person to come over, and the first person ended up being very lackadaisical and relaxed, and he became our new roomate. His name is jason, he is from and goes to school in irvine, and is a great fit for our apartment thus far (knock on wood).
other than that, life is same old as same old despite how much some of it has changed as a whole. I didn't hold myself to my new years reolutions, but live a happy lifestyle nonetheless. I decided to make the plunge into school and take FIVE classes; it is going to be a big jump from 1 class, but 3 are online which make it much easier on my schedule, and I have been aching to get my mind active again rather than so stagnant as it has been for, well, years now. I'm ready to harness my potential and decide what it is I would like to do with my life other then wait tables. It's well worth the effort, and i'm excited for it despite knowing the difficulty of it all.
So, all is good. consistent, fairly similar, and good. The other thing in my life that has changed the most this year is my faith. I have turned back to God and opened my heart, and I now pray every night for that release of stress and to pray for all the things I love, hope for, need, and wish for others. Despite outcomes it is great to be able to gain that perspective on my life and everything in it through introspection and prayer, and I'm glad I have welcomed it back into my life after years and years of denial. :)
I hope it comes shorter than 8 months from now as it was last, but I hope to be back on here soon enough, typing up about how everything hanging in the balance worked itself out and resolved in ways I didnt think were possible, just as it was last time. and something tells me it will :)
So, I left off in january with resolutions and the apartment up in the air. again, it's funny to realize how dismal and hopeless the situation i was in truly was, and in the moment it all seemed like it would "work out", when truly there was nowhere to turn and i should've been a lot more worried than i was. but, realistically, it did all turn out. Abbie moved in, edgar did not, and Terry moved in as well. It was relieving just to get roomates, despite not knowing whether they would truly be good fits or not.
As january turned into february, things settled down finally. I decided to take a college course to get my feet wet and get my mind back into focus. the class was called Music: an appreciation. and it was grueling, but just in terms of getting back into a class and into school, not the workload. the roommate situation seemed great and was, and in early march Gwen made it back out here after saving up and all.
It was great to have gwen's presence here, and still is. Instead of paying 550, we were all paying 410ish, life was more fun, less bland, and all in all everything was good and still is. abbie turned out to be a great fit; she goes to school like myself, is laid-back and doesn't do anything over the top, etc. And not to downplay that terry is a good person, because he is a compassionate person who is truly good, he wasn't a fit for our apartment. He brought parties back many times, unannounced, we had a couple of HUGE parties on behalf with well over 50 people and kegs and the whole shibang. and not to say it wasnt enjoyable at moments, but it was overall a pain in the butt to have it under our roof, where we sleep, where we live. but the time flew by, it turned out how it turned out, and eventually terry ended up leaving a bit early on the lease do to his mother's deteriorating health. thank god she's doing well now, and his abrupt departure left us hanging pretty tight, but again, we made it out and all is good.
I also bought a beautiful, amazing shiba-inu from my friend from work Grace. I heard she was having a litter of shiba's, and in knowing how rare the opportunity it was, and getting the discount of $700 dollars (which for a shiba inu is DIRT cheap), I had to seize the opportunity. The name they had for her was scout, but gwen and myself renamed her Kaiah. She was maybe the size of a rectangular tissue box when I got her, she was so precious. She's grown now to be a little bit smaller than the size of Rufus, but she is still a beautiful dog nonetheless, and I am so glad that I got her when I did.
Over the months from march to june, the main focus was getting gwen settled. to get her a car, get her a job, get her settled in every way imaginable so she could lead a comfortable life and get acclimated just as i did. unfortunately, the ride was, and is, still a bumpy one. March all the way through june, it was job search after search after application after application, all coming up short. I took my transferred job from MA for granted, and it never occurred to me the difficulty of getting a job in this economy. And eventually, I did convince my manager because of her experience and closeness to me to give her a shot, and they did with success. She started at olive garden and everything was and is well there.
gwen also needed a mode of transportation; now, that was difficult in its own right, and is now even more so. Without the $ to buy a car, we were forced to look elsewhere. I knew my car's problem (or i thought I did), and finally after weeks of searching found it in a junkyard on another car. Pete and myself spliced the wiring into the cougar and after 6 months, vwa-la! it came back to life. So it was great to have the cougar function able for gwen for several months, but it was short lived unfortunately. About a month ago the cougar's transmission seemingly gave out. Not being good with cars, i am assuming it has blown but can't be sure, yet dont even have the money to get it checked out. So the transportation department has dwindled and seems dismal, but we'll see what we can work out for gwen.
So once terry left, we were left hanging. we knew no one to room with, knew of no one looking for a room to rent, and didn't know where to turn. as strange as it was, we turned to somewhere i never thought we would; craigslist. It seemed sketchy at first, but ironically as it may be, we set up a person to come over, and the first person ended up being very lackadaisical and relaxed, and he became our new roomate. His name is jason, he is from and goes to school in irvine, and is a great fit for our apartment thus far (knock on wood).
other than that, life is same old as same old despite how much some of it has changed as a whole. I didn't hold myself to my new years reolutions, but live a happy lifestyle nonetheless. I decided to make the plunge into school and take FIVE classes; it is going to be a big jump from 1 class, but 3 are online which make it much easier on my schedule, and I have been aching to get my mind active again rather than so stagnant as it has been for, well, years now. I'm ready to harness my potential and decide what it is I would like to do with my life other then wait tables. It's well worth the effort, and i'm excited for it despite knowing the difficulty of it all.
So, all is good. consistent, fairly similar, and good. The other thing in my life that has changed the most this year is my faith. I have turned back to God and opened my heart, and I now pray every night for that release of stress and to pray for all the things I love, hope for, need, and wish for others. Despite outcomes it is great to be able to gain that perspective on my life and everything in it through introspection and prayer, and I'm glad I have welcomed it back into my life after years and years of denial. :)
I hope it comes shorter than 8 months from now as it was last, but I hope to be back on here soon enough, typing up about how everything hanging in the balance worked itself out and resolved in ways I didnt think were possible, just as it was last time. and something tells me it will :)