no good boys ever go to heaven
The first time that I killed someone while living in human society was in Luxor, not very long into my stay. Looking back, I wish that it had not been so soon, or that it had not been at all. I understand that death is a part of life and that I have never carelessly taken a life just because- but all the same, I feel that it’s jaded me in a way I will never recover from. (a sentence here is scratched out)
He was a white man with dull brown hair and pale eyes; at the time, I felt like he was miles and miles taller than me or more, but I think he was only about six feet. He wore a suit and a hat and he spoke bad English and worse Arabic, and watched me with a closeness that was upsetting. One evening he took me by the arm and pulled me aside to talk to me. I didn’t understand him, so he took me and brought me to his hotel room. I remember one of the missionaries watching this happen, but she didn’t stop it, so I thought it would be all right.
He asked me questions I didn’t understand, because my Arabic was better than my English. He made me look it up in a book as he stood over me, and I realized he was asking me where I was from and why I seemed unable to speak. Now, I know that he was asking me if I was a Jew. Then, I was just frightened. I put the book away and would not answer him, so he hit me.
I bit his wrist and watched him die. I had to pull his throat from the rest of him to keep him from screaming, which sped it up. I watched every moment, and then I ate him.
that sounds very south park, come up with something less blunt
Later, I got sick, and I thought it surely was punishment from the gods for taking another sentient life. I spat him up into the banks of the Nile in the dead of night, near where the crocodiles lay. It turns out he had his military pins on him, of which the paint and iron corners were upsetting my stomach.
things that I am not going to publish:
- this
- the bit for Linda
- all of it because I can’t get a bloody AGENT*
*excuse me** while i laugh myself to death at the idea of publishing MY LIFE AS A NAGA and doing a signing at borders, i need to put this down for the night.
** stop writing notes to yourself immediately